to think he should not have called me a c*nt!

[stressedout1994]

Morning all,

Last night I was cycling home from a friend's house. I forgot my lights, so cycled when it was still relatively light, but by the time I was within about 10 minutes of my flat it was quite dark and the roads were busy. I wouldn't normally do this but the roads near my flat are really busy and people drive really fast, so I started cycling on the pavement as they are relatively wide and no one was around.

There was a man on the pavement outside a shop. There was plenty of room to manoeuvre on either side of him, and I slowed down and moved my handlebars to move to the left. So he moved to the left. So I moved my handlebars to move to the right, and he moved to the right. I stopped, planning to get off my bike and wheel it past him.

He shouted 'just fuck off, fuck off!' I was shocked, and involuntarily scowled. He then shouted 'yes that's right just fuck off, don't fucking scowl at me you cunt!'

I just stood still looking at him and then he went into the shop. I then cycled past.

I know I was in the wrong for cycling on the pavement (even if very slowly and only when no-one around) but I think his reaction was completely out of order.

Side note: I have lived in London for 10 years, since uni, and I feel like in the last couple of years there have been more and more people behaving erratically or threateningly. On the rest of my ride home I saw no fewer than 4 men who were clearly unwell shouting in the street, at themselves and others. I don't understand why nothing is done about this. I know lots of people say 'oooh, that's just LONDON, I don't bat an EYELID!', but I actually think that women should feel safe when walking round the capital city!

YABU - you shouldn't have been on the pavement, get some lights you silly moo

YANBU - you should never call a woman a cunt

You don’t cycle on the pavement and you don’t cycle without lights.

This sense of entitlement is what gives cyclists a bad name.

If you didn’t feel safe, you should taken alternative transport home.

Yes, you were both unreasonable, the best option would have been for you to dismount and walk your bike instead of cycling on the pavement. His best option would have been to stfu

You are so entitled OP, and I say that as a cyclist. You were totally unreasonable. Get off your bike next time, and sort your lights out.

I had properly assessed the risks to myself and others

I expect most lawbreakers do risk assessments before committing a crime.
But it would still be a crime.

You think it's ok to 'risk assess' and break the law because you decided it was safe to do so? You're dripping with entitlement and the kind of cyclist that gives them a bad name. That's not how laws work, I could risk assess and speed in many places I think the speed limit is too slow, but I don't because that is not my call to make. Just like this wasn't your call to make. Forget your lights, then need to go on the pavement, so you walk your bike.

You should not have been cycling on the pavement. You should not have put him in this situation. As a pedestrian, I have called cyclists that nearly went into me things much worse than that.
I also cycle and in dangerous areas, I have been known to cycle on the pavement BUT at the first sign of a pedestrian I have dismounted and wheeled the cycle regardless of the amount of room. This is what you should have done.

I live in a town where most pavements are shared spaces with cyclists and almost everyone (cyclists and pedestrians) respects the other and it works. As you were riding respectfully and were well aware of the

Pressed post too soon!

As yku were well aware of pedestrians I think he is being totally unreasonable!

This is one of those threads where OP is told YABU but argues the toss anyway, I see.

Also @stressedout1994 , funny that you are so aggrieved about being called a name but rip another woman to shreds, twice so far on this thread, for her appearance and weight. You're just as bad. Having extra weight doesn't account for your attitude, it isn't like we gain a few extra pounds and that switches our poor behaviour mode on.

He was unnecessarily rude. He absolutely wouldn’t have spoken to a man like that.

Can I ask why you didn’t dismount and push your bike? It’s likely that an aggressive guy would still feel the need to air his views loudly but morally you would have come off better imo.

The mental gymnastics to say "I was breaking the law and endangering pedestrians' lives but someone using a rude word is worse" is quite astonishing.

She was unnecessarily breaking the law?

He was very wrong to shout at you but as a cyclist you are a menace to society.

On Sunday I nearly hit a cyclist who without warning jerked to turn right as I was overtaking her. No hand signals, nothing!!

If I wasn’t a responsible driver Who gives you more room that you need, she would have gone under my wheels

I never understand when posters play the poor woman card. Factually men on men violence is way way more common than man to woman. So yes, it is more likely he’d have done it to a man , and likely worse.

"but I actually think that women should feel safe when walking round the capital city"

Yeah , but men as well should be safe from CF cyclists riding on pavements.

He is taking out his issues with you, that isn't a normal reaction to such a petty thing. Obviously had a bad day trying to make someone else feel bad.
The fact you were on the pavement is irrelevant tbh and I dislike cyclist (no offence im a driver 😁)

Well I trust and hope I have brought them up to follow their wonderful dad and respect women.
I am their mother - 5' nothing to their 6' plus - and they do respect me, and their wives - they know my feelings on respecting women and what their dad (sadly deceased) would say if he heard them speak like that!

YANBU regarding the oaf and his mouth. YABU for being on the pavement. Get lights and a bell and stay on the road.

It’s not “petty” or “irrelevant” it’s both illegal and dangerous.

This.

He was wrong. You were more wrong.

Stop trying to pander to the crowd here with your offense at the word used. No sympathy here.

We do have a problem with some cyclists. There is a sense that other pavement users don’t matter.

We have the same issues here on bridleways. No bells. Going way too fast and no warnings to other users. Often a yell at the last second. They seem to think they are top of some food chain. I’ve been sworn at by cyclists when I’ve said something, Plus my child was nearly run over by one snd he swore at her. Ihe flew round a bend and just appeared! Of course many are reasonable but too many are not and constantly cycle on footpaths here. That’s against the law but they don’t care, then swear at me!

But it's not an issue of some cyclists not having a sense that 'other' pavement users don't matter. Pedestrians are pavement users - cyclists are not, they are road users and are breaking the law cycling on pavements unless there are markings to indicate otherwise.

He also broke the law actually - swearing at someone on the street is a Public Order Act offence. Verbal abuse is a criminal offence.

Sorry but that’s a false argument. Men are more likely to commit violent acts against BOTH men and women. Also, it doesn’t follow that because men commit crimes against other men, a man is ‘just as likely’ to swear at a tall burly man as he is a normal woman. He’s far less likely to say the same things to a man because he’d be aware than the man is more likely to retaliate!