Trying so hard with my twitching

[Terrifiedshakes]

See my other threads. I'm at a loss

I'm trying so hard to sort out why I'm twitching. I'm taking Kalm tablets now and I'm trying hard with breathing techniques

Yet I still continue to twitch all over my body. Every few mins there is a twitch and it can be anywhere.

I'm bow trying to fall asleep but I keep getting woken up by a massive twitch that feels like it's coming from my head. I'm terrified it's a seizure that I can't go back to sleep.

I am so very anxious though about these twitxhes. It's a vicious cycle. If they are anxiety related how do I break the cycle and why are they coming from my head and waking me up with such a jolt..

Please be gentle with me with your advice as I'm so scared I've got MS or a brain tumour or MND I'm sat here trembling with fear and the trembling is fear , the twitches are muscle.

You know how sometimes, it’s really hard to reverse the car and park because someone’s watching you? Maybe your body feels a bit like that. “Hey! Stop looking at me! I’m trying to work here “

The systems in our body and the way we feel make a kind of loop- you feel nervous because you’re breathing fast, you breathe fast because you’re nervous.

So stop. Breathe.
Think about kittens and beaches and whatever.

Ground your self.
im going to try and find a grounding exercise I find helpful.

Here we go. Practice this. Again and again

https://www.lpft.nhs.uk/young-people/lincolnshire/about-us/whats-new/grounding-activity

My storages been gurgling today with loose stools but no pain. I don't have any pain. My bloods came back good a month ago. I can't be ill with some terrible disease. This has got to be the tablets upsetting my system

So you aren’t. Everything’s been tested. You’re thoroughly tested.

What you need is the box breathing and the grounding exercise.

Just looked at drs notes and shes put

Could be side effect of meds, may settle in time '

Thanks for all this Keir

I've never had this before. I can't have just started meds 3 days ago and now this happen. Its hopefully linked. They are on my stomache I can tell

Doctor said it coukd be that it's passing through gut quickly bexuase I'm on new meds. I think she said this but my brain is fried. I can't belive her incase it's something serious like pancreatic cancer or liver disease. I'm not googling nothing though. It's painful to Google and its getting me nowhere.

Food does move through quickly when you are unsettled.

I had a funny stomach ache once, was convinced it was something awful. Was rolling on the floor clutching my stomach. Turned out to be just a nervous tummy. Now I know what it is, I don’t get so worried and I know what not to do to make it worse 🤣

Have you never tried talking to yourself? It can be really comforting. You can do it out loud, treat yourself like a toddler.

Right, Come on Keir we’re getting over tired. I think a hot chocolate and an early night is what we need. Let’s get the milk out…

etc etc.

That gentle running commentary you do for fretful children. It’s very soothing.

You can suck your thumb too, if you fancy it!

With the box breathing and the 5 senses grounding work. And the chatting quietly to yourself.

I’m likely to fall asleep soon so won’t be able to keep you company. I know you are ok, though. Breathe.

Thanks keir, you have been great and I am listening. X

Have you had covid or any other viral disease before this started- apparently it can be a rare effect of it?

i’ll link this thread from 2022 where the upshot of it is that a virus can sometimes affect the nervous system and cause twitching.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/coronavirus/4555025-anyone-had-muscle-twitching-after-covid?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

I was ill with a virus about 2 weeks before the twitching began. I have wondered if the 2 were linked.

I slept well last night. Thank the lord.

Stools have gone to a orangy brown this morning but I did phone gp juat because you have to make the decision at 8am if you phone or not to get an appointment or you miss them all. So becuase my stools were very pale last night I phoned for an appointment the receptionist answered and I asked for an appointment. The receptionist asked what it's for and I explained I'm struggling with my mental health, it's at crisis points often and I need to speak to a Dr about side effects of my new medication. She paused and said "You had an appointment yesterday, and the day before thet, and the day before that. ". I said " I know but the drs have said to get intouch any time and it's weekend tomorrow so I need to get this sorted today". She put me on hold and then came back and said a Dr will phone me sometime this morning.

I nearly hung up the phone..I'm so ashamed.

The Dr told me they are testing my sample for infection. If my symptoms don't improve then they will do bloods (I really don't want bloods) and I'm on the waiting list for a camera for celiac.

I dunno what I want them to do tbh. I'm a pain in the arse and so embarrassed. She won't say what it could be but I've told her I'm scared if pancreatic cancer and liver disease and she's just said I've got no pain though and I'm not yellow.

No you don’t have pancreatic cancer or liver disease. Maybe something else… but you don’t have the symptoms of those specific things. The twitching is a much bigger concern than any of the other stuff you’re worrying about. You need to talk to your GP about anxiety.

I am so glad you slept well. That’s a really good step.

Your doctor sounds very effective and thorough.

Hang in there, use the tools you have to treat yourself well. Let the tools the GP has do their stuff.

OP. We are back to being ridiculous now. Get a grip. There is no cancer. They have checked. Liver or Pancreatic cancer is blindingly obvious in even the most basic blood tests.

Pale stools are normal when your body is a nervous wreck! Too much adrenaline, too much cortisol, body in overdrive will dump everything. That's why when you are nervous about something you often need to pee every 5 minutes.

Dumping everything means that food is not staying in the gut long enough to be fully digested. Especially if you have digestive trouble already. Hence yellow poo.

I always know when I get the shits whether it's a bug or anxiety related. Anxious shits are more yellowy and have a distinctly foul smell to them.

Stress will always exacerbate any digestive troubles. The stomach is ALWAYS the first to go.

You NEED to lower your anxiety levels before you do yourself serious damage. Go for a massage and STOP thinking of everything as a symptom.

Do a bit of CBT here. We want What, Why, Hard Evidence For, Hard Evidence Against, Reasonable Conclusion.

Get a sheet of paper, divide it into 5 columns and in the first write out exactly what you are afraid of. Then in the second column write Why you think that. In the third column write down what hard evidence you have that it is cancer. And by hard evidence I mean test results, supporting evidence not just your feelings. We with anxiety cannot trust our feelings, our minds are not to be trusted.

Fourth column is what evidence you have that is ISN'T cancer. So you have a clear blood test, possible coeliac or intolerance, raging stress levels that would account for the lighter stool. New meds etc

Then in the fifth one you tot up the evidence in columns 3 and 4 and you write the likelihood of it being what you fear. So you have say 2 things that might indicate cancer (you don't, that's just an example) and 6 that you don't. The evidence points to you not having cancer.

It's hard to accept the fact that what is wrong with you is psychological. I've been on the same journey. But you cannot trust what your mind tells you, your mind is a nervous wreck.

Think back OP when did this start? This thinking that every niggle is a major illness? What is at the root of it? Were you ever seriously ill as a child? Someone close to you? Something must have triggered this to start with, maybe something that you don't even realise affected you. Think hard. What was the first thing? Ever?

Hell all of this could be a distraction technique that you don't even know you're employing. Actually thinking about it that's pretty likely. You really resist thinking about the anxiety or treating it. Any time we attempt to get you to start getting proper help, you come up with some new disease you're positive you have. Time to push it aside and look at what you're avoiding. Really look at it. Don't you want a life free of this?

Thanks Balloon you are correct and that's good advice about the Columb. I've screen shot your message to make it easier to create these columns in the future, that does sound like a realistic target to do, even when in the middle of a crisis.

I've self referred for CBT so waiting to hear back from that.

I know where this has come from. I don't want to go into too much detail but when I was 16 someone, not blood related but close, got breadt cancer. And my mum didn't deal with it. All I'll say is, I remember her screaming at me that 'Christmas is cancled in this house!. There was also a LOT of talk about B17 diets and alternative treatments. Using non fluoride toothpastes etc.

At the same time, my dog who I doted on. Randomly got very sick on holiday. Within 2 weeks I'd been to the vets so many times, had test, waited for results and watched him get worse. He was only 5. Then they told me it would be kindest to PTS. I'd spent hours in the vets just to loose him. My mobey from my weekend job, plus some insurance paid all his vet bills. It broke my heart. He was everything to me for 5 years. I was the girl who walked her dog everywhere around where I lived until one day he was gone. 18 years later and I've still got his ashes. It took my a week to go and sleep back home and years to say his name. Then i got pregnant and I have to move on then and I did move on.

Me and that dog went on some amazing adventures together. I'm talking frogs in wellies and long runs by the stream and fueld walks for miles and miles. I was only 15/16. My DH was there too. He knew my dog and loved him and he saw how loosing him got to me.

Oh gosh, can you ask for a GP referral to a specialist mental health physio? Most will be the very best people to do CBT for health anxiety, because they will actually examine you (the twitiching) thoroughly beforehand, will do this type of CBT all the time, and they are also skilled at treating hyperventilation.

Even if something is wrong, there is clearly health anxiety too, and CBT will certainly help - but the wait for physio will probably be less too.

A general physio assessment may be temporarily reassuring re anything neurological (less so re the bowels etc), but they wouldb't be ale to address everything else.

I've rtft. Bloody hell. You're expecting the tablets to upset your system so it's become a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's all just your anxiety.

What was your dog’s name? My little buddy is snoring on the floor.

Sounds like you have some unresolved trauma . I’m still of the opinion of a lot of self care and tlc being the best cure.

Have you considered getting another dog OP? I don't know if it's possible right now and haven't read all replies. But it might really help your anxiety and give you something else to focus on. Get a sturdy breed - not one that is known to be short lived or prone to illness - from a rescue perhaps.