shocked my best friend voted Reform

[clearmoon]

Long standing close friend came round for dinner and we were nattering away, and she just mentioned off hand in the conversation that she had voted Reform. i am really shocked. We don't discuss politics much. But I would have guessed lib dems or labour. I love her dearly. But I do wonder if I should think about her differently now, or just carry on as before

YANBU - She is not such a good person as I thought all these years
YABU-its all fine

Democracy is about having a choice. It’s important we have this, the alternative is not pretty.
your friend votes differently to you for her own personal reasons. Stop being judgy.

… shocking.

I haven't noticed them being silent.
And Farage got more time on the BBCs Question Time than anyone else in the run up to the Brexit vote
Lee Anderson hardly silent..

I know what you mean.
I have a friend who watches BBC News and thinks it's impartial.

No it doesn't. Net migration is just the difference between immigration and emigration. It can be large or small in size and positive or negative in sign.

You could say "they want to reduce net immigration to the tens of thousands and maintain it at that level" and that makes sense, but "they want to reduce immigration to net levels" makes no sense. It's like saying "I want to reduce my shopping bill to yellow".

I do feel a bit sorry for Reform voters, to be honest. Most of them are being utterly manipulated by a disgraceful group of people. Even some 'intelligent' people have been taken in by this. It's a sad state of affairs.

I assume you’re talking about the riots in Southport? I thought they were caused by a contingent of racists whipped up by inflammatory comments made by their great leader Nigel?
What have they to do, exactly, with a political party that has been in office for less than a month?

Why is it always Labour voters who look down on other people because they have different political views?

If this i how you feel, don’t discuss politics with friends. How someone votes is their own private business.

Well after reading the manifesto I wish I had voted for them. I bet they wouldn't have scrap the WFA.
If I were your friend I wouldn't be bothered if you never spoke to me again. Who cares what you think in the great scheme of things but you seem to think you are better than your friend so she is better off with out you looking down your nose at her.

Exactly.. OP your virtue signalling is laughable..

My family and old mates back in the UK got on just fine as the decades went by. The reason for that is that we left it at the door. I didn't - and still don't - know who they voted for. And I made sure they were equally in the dark about my political leanings.

I hold this as a mainstay of civilised discourse between people, especially close friends and relatives.

As far as I'm concerned, the fact that your friend voted for a racist rabble fronted by a degenerate slimeball is of secondary importance to the fact that she suddenly decided to forego this item of etiquette and cross a line. I would carefully consider the implications of this action and statement.

Henry Adams said 'Politics, as a practice, whatever its professions, has always been the systematic organization of hatreds.' This has never been more relevant now with Reform being actually constructed on hatred. (for a bit of historical context please have a look at the history of the British Union of Fascists. They had many 'clever' people in their ranks too. Obviously wanted to be on the right side of the fence for when the Nazis came over. I can easily see Farage as a kind of 'mini-me' Mosely).

You may be best friends. You say she is 'clever.' Hm. Her mentioning this would change the way I thought about the friendship. I would hesitate to judge her a 'good person' or not. But I would carefully re-evaluate the friendship and be ready to let it die.

Have a read of the news reports including from last night

I don't think it's looking down on people more a shock at their beliefs being of a different ilk.

I’d hate to live in an echo chamber. I have friends who voted Reform and I don’t care. It makes conversations more interesting. They had their reasons. That’s fair. Some labour voters are massive hypocrites. It’s their way or no way and that is the exact reason that Reform exists.

Yes I’m not sure why the op feels she must grace the friend with her time

Maybe knowing this thread was started the friend would decide for the op instead

It's not the voting perse that would be a deal breaker for me, but I would need her to justify her vote. Realistically, I'd assume our ideals are entirely incompatible. I don't agree at all that we are obliged to maintain friendships with people whose core beliefs differ from our own. Just as you wouldn't have a friend with which you had nothing in common.

Yes, it'd be shame to lose 30 years of friendship and I hope you can focus on what brings you together rather than what divides you. Also consider that she may feel similar sentiments to you for voting differently than her. If she did bring it up, I'd would gently ask her why she voted that way - it may not be due to bigotry but frustration with the politics of the day. I had this with a relative who voted similarly to your friend. I was shocked by him as well because I never thought he'd vote that way, particularly as he is a disabled person who I assumed would vote Labour. But it transpired that he hated the tories and didn't trust labour and so voted reform as a protest though admitted he wouldn't want them in. I didn't agree with his logic but I understood his frustration with the main parties. I try not to judge him; he is in a poor state of health and it would be cruel of me to walk away because of how he voted.

Anyone would think the country wasn't a democracy reading this thread.

The reformers helped most people posting by ensuring there were fewer Conservative MPs and allowed Labour to win with only 34% of the vote. Personally I question not Farage's politics as much as his intention to destabilise us.

I could not disagree with this more.

I think it's really important, as reasonable rational adults, to talk about politics especially, and also religion for similar reasons. Not talking about politics will mean people don't consider aspects from other points of view. Everyone will be stuck in their own little echo chamber that does nothing but confirm their own biases. Having a conversation about things like that, and actually listening to the other person's perspective, is great to deepen understanding.

The only reason not to discuss these subjects is if either you or the person you are talking to (or both) is unable to listen, take on board opposing points of view or be respectful of different opinions. Otherwise it can be a very interesting and illuminating discussion.

With all the problems Labour have had with antisemitism and looking to destroy women's rights your description pretty much fits the Labour party as well.

news.sky.com/story/amp/reform-uk-drops-three-candidates-as-racism-row-constinues-to-engulf-party-13160889

Anyone who is convinced that Farage is a good faith actor and not a corrupt cynical crook is no friend of mine. It's not about the name of the party it's the fact that they're a limited company set up as a vehicle for one man's gain and without a single credible policy save for fear mongering and conspiracy theories.

This makes no sense. You're not pushing people to support Farage. If they are Reform voters, they already support him. And therein lies the problem.

People can vote for whoever they like. They are not being "silenced". But the rest of us don't have to pretend that we think all options are equally valid.

How can you be friends with someone whose values are fundamentally incompatible with your own? Why would you want to be?

But Nazis become ex-friends in my world, don't know about yours.