Help me annoy our neighbours

[NeighbourTrouble63]

Lighthearted (ish!)

I don’t say this lightly but we have the most truly horrible couple (‘young professionals’, although they don’t act like it) that I have ever met living beside us - even since the day that we moved in they have completely blanked us, anytime I have simply waved over or said ‘good morning’ I get ignored. In the 4 years that we have lived here neither of them have ever even made eye contact with me. It is bizarre and I have no idea what their problem is. I feel like they automatically see us as below them since we are renting (I have just gotten through a messy divorce, it is only my very sensible teen DD and I living here)

They have constant, wild parties going on into the small hours. It’s a 1930s semi so very poor sound insulation - we hear everything. I went round and politely knocked their door one Friday party night as DD had just had an operation and really needed her sleep - the door was slammed in my face. Their Range Rover (definitely heavily financed) is constantly parked right over the pavement, forcing buggies and wheelchair users onto the busy road.

They are vile people and I want a petty yet harmless way to get my own back when we move out in a few months. Any ideas?

Yes - Wanted a bit of back up from a fellow NI dweller that we aren’t all blowing each other up as that poster seems to believe..

Write a random word on their lawn not at all related to you leaving in (proper glyphosate) Round-up. It'll take a day or two to show by which time you'll be gone.

Don’t be childish.

Report the antisocial behaviour and footway blocking if it bothers you. Apart from that, schemes of petty revenge are pretty moronic.

Egg the car when you leave.

Thank you - I’m proudly Belfast born and bred. The NI that DD has grown up in vs the one that I knew at her age is unrecognisable - amazing progress has been made.

YABU for thinking they’re judging that you rent… whilst judging their car finance!

If they are party people you need to make as much noise on a Saturday and Sunday morning as you can. I'd recommend powerwashing your driveway, bins and fence starting at 8 am, moving on to hedgetrimming at ten and strimming at eleven. Every week. Make sure it's something that won't get you in trouble with your landlord, I wouldn't advise blasting music but keeping the place looking nice won't give them anything to base a complaint on, while pissing them off while they're suffering.

Grow up. Leave them alone You sound very bitter

Pavements are for people to walk on

How are people with buggies/ small children/poor eyesight/wheelchairs supposed to manage?

6 am drum practice.

I believe there is an online facility to request a visit from Jehovah's Witness to discuss a pressing question or bible story...

Well, yes. You are very judgemental and sneery and again, how do you their car is on finance?

Just get on with your own life and hope that karma one day bites them in the arse.

Ithink you have a point on the parties, although I’m not quite sure I beleive they are constant.

you seem very invested in them, please try to get on with your life and stop focusing on them so much, it’s not healthy.

😆

Yes very materialistic.

I'd be constantly on to The PSNI/Council about the car on the pavement

Hypocritical more than anything.

"Their Range Rover (definitely heavily financed) is constantly parked right over the pavement, "

"...I want a petty yet harmless way to get my own back when we move out in a few months. Any ideas?"

Well, I don't know about entirely "harmless" but something suitable would be to get a paring knife (this is a short knife you use for slicing or peeling fruit & veg, it will cost anything from £4 for a cheap knife from the supermarket to almost £200 for a fancy Japanese version. The blade is typically 8cm or 9cm long)

Simply walk past the Range Rover and stab each wheel a couple of times with the paring knife. That car isn't going anywhere after that.

A paring knife is a lot better for doing this than something like a longer vegetable knife which might be about 13cm long. The longer knife has a greater propensity to snap in this sort of situation.

Don't ask me how I know this!

Every time you see them, big cheesy grin: 'Helloooo . . . how are you? We never seem to have time to chat!' Make it a game. It'll freak them out.

Don’t take the no eye contact and no good mornings personally. Some people are just like that.

Report their car to the police if they are obstructing the pavement.

Report any noise disturbances to the council and environmental health.

Don’t be petty. But if you really want to, blast music at early hours when they are asleep and/or hungover. Scratch their car ‘accidentally’ with your keys as you squeeze past it. Order some food to their house from a private number and tell the takeaway you’ll be paying in cash. Play knock a door run. Bounce a football off their fence or garden wall. Chuck stink bombs into their garden and post some mackerel and sardines through their letter box.

Thank you for that.

I live just outside Belfast and I've got to say posts like the earlier one make me really sad and angry.

We are indeed very friendly, and OP was having a half light hearted rant about her neighbour. Bringing in bloody history and tarring a whole frigging country is offensive and ignorant.

The noise is genuinely constant whether it be parties, music, general squealing (have never heard adults like it in my life) - I had to invest in a good pair of noise cancelling headphones for fear of going insane when we first moved in. No, it’s not healthy but it’s reality.

You need to lighten up, sometimes being an imature dick is fun, if you can laugh about the awful behaviour of the neighbour things don't seem so bad.The Op wants to do something and is looking for ideas, ways to respond.
Sorry that you've had this happen to you.

Do loud jobs on sat/sun morning, hoovering, mowing the lawn , drill/hammer etc etc..If it after 9am you aren't being unreasonable, but it will be early to them if they have been up all night.

Wait.
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
6 weeks after you have moved out, fill a polythene bag with brake fluid.
Walk past and chuck it over the bonnet of the car as you pass.
Just make sure you don't leave the bag behind ( fingerprints) and your face is well covered (Ring Doorbells and dashcams)