Help me annoy our neighbours

[NeighbourTrouble63]

Lighthearted (ish!)

I don’t say this lightly but we have the most truly horrible couple (‘young professionals’, although they don’t act like it) that I have ever met living beside us - even since the day that we moved in they have completely blanked us, anytime I have simply waved over or said ‘good morning’ I get ignored. In the 4 years that we have lived here neither of them have ever even made eye contact with me. It is bizarre and I have no idea what their problem is. I feel like they automatically see us as below them since we are renting (I have just gotten through a messy divorce, it is only my very sensible teen DD and I living here)

They have constant, wild parties going on into the small hours. It’s a 1930s semi so very poor sound insulation - we hear everything. I went round and politely knocked their door one Friday party night as DD had just had an operation and really needed her sleep - the door was slammed in my face. Their Range Rover (definitely heavily financed) is constantly parked right over the pavement, forcing buggies and wheelchair users onto the busy road.

They are vile people and I want a petty yet harmless way to get my own back when we move out in a few months. Any ideas?

Invest in a metal trolley with a few sharp edges then push it past their car parked on the pavement "accidentally" gouging a big scratch down the side.

You sound so immature and full of spite. It's better for your own health if you let go of these negative feelings, and let go, you're moving. You've no reason to feel so childishly bitter about these people.

😂 Really?

Truly shocking suggestion re car key. Disgraceful

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Liquid-Fart-Smell-Streamer-Bottle/dp/B018MVGSLS

Not sure what’s so hilarious for you.

I hear you OP, I’ve had some shockers on the neighbour front - playing really loud surround sound movies at 3am, the lot. I would go down the early morning noise route, especially morning after after the parties. Really ramp it up. Speaker next to wall, loud bass pumping. Go out ‘oops’! Or ring the doorbell at 7am for a realllllly long time and walk off. Fill their bin with your rubbish.

If they have a loud late night party the week before you leave, keep ringing the doorbell every 15 mins and shouting ‘turn it offfffffff’ - very cathartic and will embarrass them nicely (as well as you but who cares)

Is there a local area / neighbour group? Could call out the parking on there anonymously. Or leave a note to the front calling them selfish see you next Tuesdays

That’s a step too far 🤣🤣

We had the TUV battle bus driving round with pre-recorded messages from Jim Allister playing last month. The neighbourhood has suffered enough 🙈

I like this. A caravan parked up in a very inconvenient spot in a village near my brother. Bird seed was thrown on top nightly for a week. Hint was taken, caravan was moved.

Find the landlord, they are almost certainly breaking their tenancy agreement with the endless noise.

What's the status of their car purchase got to do with anything though?

They sound horrible. Definitely leave twenty some wind chimes in the garden before you move out. And start a rumour that you won the lottery and gave all the friendly neighbours an expensive holiday.

But you are also asking for suggestions that will upset them??? Says alot about you. As others have said, there are formal channels to report matters re parking/loud music

Since they don’t use their drive, list it on a parking website

If you do it with salt is will last forever.

My neighbour is vile and seems to hate every fibre of me for no apparent reason whatsoever. Every time I see him I look him straight in the eye and give a big beaming smile. He looks absolutely seething with rage lol

Fleas through their letterbox / open windows?

Broken glass / tacks on their driveway? Awful how careless the binmen can be...

😂

Are you an extra in The Truman Show?

I can’t even imagine having a life as small as yours must be to give a crap about this. Grow your horizons a bit.

If we're going down this route may I suggest... violin. Sounds awful if not done well (eg, by a beginner.)

I did the doorbell one with some particularly horrendous downstairs neighbours, when we lived in a flat. Not sure whether or not they knew who it was, as everyone is the building absolutely hated them. It worked and they moved away!

Start hiding raw chicken in their wheely bin so it becomes crawling with maggots

Well done you - you’ve clearly achieved a Buddha-like level of zen where nothing phases you, even selfish twats blocking wheelchair users from using the pavement, keeping you awake all hours and waking your poorly child up. Maybe you’re lucky you haven’t lived next door to such twattery? Or maybe you’re just on a higher plane. Who knows.

The Barney song on a loop! 😂

@NeighbourTrouble63 Just in case history isn’t your strongest subject, the Troubles in NI with numerous murders and bombings didn’t indicate to many of that NI was a friendly place. Somewhere not to go for decades. No go areas etc. eg Shankill and Falls Road areas. International crime victimization survey finds most crime in NI is by local people on local people. So now we have this thread….! Says it all really.

I also like the idea of early Sat morning, especially the morning after a party, you and DD go out all day. Speaker pressed against the wall with barking and howling dog noises off YouTube on repeat. Whoopsie! Your DD forgot to turn YouTube off before you went out. How careless! lol

Oh, unclench, FFS! Your life is small enough to respond to this thread!