I keep putting off potty training - help!

[ChiccaD]

Dear clever MNs. Please tell me how you went about potty training your children.

I keep putting it off and at this rate we will be in primary school before we are out of nappies.

Honestly there are no tools or tricks. The main tool is the ability to commit - just bite the bullet and do it, you’ll thank yourself!

@RobertSalamander the main thing I'm worried about is they don't have potties, only little toilets. I found this really bizarre, but maybe it's the norm? I'm not sure how my son will take to that! We would have trained straight onto a toilet but as we don't have a downstairs loo, I didn't think it would be a good idea when you need to be quick! Hopefully they have others training and he will feel OK using a toilet🤞

Ask if you can take his potty in.

When DD1 started nursery they said we could take her potty in and leave it in an area available for her to grab when she needed it if we wanted.

I disagree with this and feel slightly annoyed by that comment. The various things people said on this thread are tools and tips and tricks. To say just bite the bullet and do it is fine, but if you are not sure how to go about it and if it’s not working bite the bullet won’t cut it.

Personally, having done it twice recently and will be doing it again soon. I would wait until a minimum of 2.5

your child is not a few weeks away from primary school!

take three days. Explain the week before what is going to happen. Get the “ Pirate Pete's Potty: A Noisy Sound Book (Pirate Pete and Princess Polly)
by Andrea Pinnington“ book

set an alarm, EVERY 30 minutes take child and set them on the potty. It’s a skill they need to learn. Every time they do a wee, even a dribble give a chocolate button. After a day push it to 45 minutes, then an hour. Both of mine were 2.5. They were both potty trained in 3 days.

Oh gosh, this is an awful way to do it. Please don’t follow this advice, OP.

For a start, bribery is a poor parenting tool and should always be avoided. You’re the parent, you don’t have to bribe your child to do anything if you’re parenting correctly. You need to be teaching intrinsic motivation.

Secondly, food should never be a reward, just like it should never be a punishment.

And thirdly, they don’t potty train by being taken to the potty every 30 minutes and making them sit. They potty train when they connect “I need a wee > I am weeing > wee goes on the potty”, and though we can prompt (no more than once every 30 minutes), we should trust they know their own body once you have the basics down.

I was told they weren’t allowed potties in the room with them. But they did supply potties in the toilet. I’m confident that contributes to the accidents they have at nursery but I suppose they have these policies in play for a reason.

Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are? If you WANT to share YOUR experience and wisdom go right ahead but don’t you dare disparage how I have successfully done it. Another “superior” Mum on here with her “oh gosh” “awful”. Get clean back in your lane.

Give over 😂

I hope your boss doesn’t bribe you to work with financial rewards!

When I read your thread I assumed your child was starting school , honestly I wouldn't worry too much yet if he/she is only 2.

We waited until closer to 3. I stayed at home whilst he was training , bought lots of underwear and he just wore the underwear and no clothes in the house. I put a plastic sheet on the carpet to protect the carpet. There was many wee accidents on day 1 and 2, but by say 3 he was using the potty and that was it.

'Oh gosh, this is an awful way to do it. Please don’t follow this advice, OP.

For a start, bribery is a poor parenting tool and should always be avoided. You’re the parent, you don’t have to bribe your child to do anything if you’re parenting correctly. You need to be teaching intrinsic motivation.

Secondly, food should never be a reward, just like it should never be a punishment.

And thirdly, they don’t potty train by being taken to the potty every 30 minutes and making them sit. They potty train when they connect “I need a wee > I am weeing > wee goes on the potty”, and though we can prompt (no more than once every 30 minutes), we should trust they know their own body once you have the basics down.'

@MoobyMoo

Oh do fuck right off with your faux concern 'oh gosh' 😂😂😂

Another permissive parent on the site. Can sniff you lot a mile off.

Try gasping at real life horrors, you know, the real world, than over a fucking chocolate button. Knob.

We were lead by our son.

We introduced a potty very early (1.5) just so he wasn’t alarmed by it when the time came.

Then when he was approx 2-2.5 each morning and before bed he would sit on the potty and made such a fuss of him if he did anything. Then we introduced sitting on the potty throughout the day and he picked it up really quickly.

He is now 3.5 and only just removed the nappies overnight but he is absolutely flying. 1 accident in 4 weeks.

I can honestly it has been completely stress free and I do believe this is because he was ready for the change and we didn’t try and force it on him when he was too young.

“Successful” doesn’t mean “good way to do it”. It just means you did it.

And yes, if you have to bribe your child to do what you want then I will judge you.

This is very little still OP. You have ages until Reception, don’t stress yet.

Nope, thankfully no permissive parenting here. I can’t stand them either.

Clear boundaries, expectations and follow throughs. Natural and logical consequences. Happy, well behaved, independent children who know I mean what I say.

If you are unable to understand how that works that is a shame for you and your kids.

Cor, here with the sweeping assumptions today aren't you.

Where have I indicated that I bribe my children? I haven't. I was calling out your faux concern over a chocolate button.
You're probably one of those parents who thinks they have well behaved children, but they're actually pretty feral.

See, assumptions aren't nice, are they?

No need to feel sorry for my children at all. I feel for yours, I can't imagine a childhood where I don't get rewarded with a bit of chocolate. What a boring, regimented way of thinking you have. Poor kids.

Just because you were 'successful' it doesn't mean yours was the right way to do it.

Natural consequences I can tick off from my permissive parenting bingo sheet

@MoobyMoo

That was for you.

I would say have a biscuit, but you'll probably need an inhaler for that with all that gasping.

Again, food should never be used as reward or punishment. Chocolate isn’t a treat. We don’t use it as a reward.

That doesn’t mean we don’t eat it 😂 I just teach my children to be intrinsically motivated.

And no, no gasping here at all the bullshit you posted.

Not one person has agreed with what you've posted.

I'd start looking at the bullshit you're posting.

Hope you've got your breathing under control now :)

@MoobyMoo

You sound like you might have a bit of disordered eating, getting so worked up about a chocolate button.

Do you think I need validation from a handful of posters on a mumsnet thread? If you do, you might want to address why that is.

I parent my children using the latest child development research and evidence. I don’t need the backing from random strangers who haven’t bothered to do any research.

There’s nothing wrong with a chocolate button. We eat those.

Disordered eating is using chocolate as treat food, or any food as reward/punishment.

@MoobyMoo
Out of curiosity, what are your children going to do when they're in a workplace that has high pressure and targets? With monetary rewards?

Many MANY big and small organisations have target driven roles and commission based earnings on top of a salary. Quarterly bonus subject to good KPIs etc.

Basically, rewarding with money (more impactful than a chocolate button..) 😂

What will they do then? 'No I can't participate because mummy said so?'

You're doing them no favours for the real world. Yet again more fluffed up gentle permissive parented kids to add to the generation.

What are you talking about?

Of course as adults they will take part in external motivation, just like they do at school.

That doesn’t mean you can’t teach intrinsic motivation.

This sounds like exactly how we trained our four kids.
The potty was always next to the toilet.

Very quickly they moved from using potty to preferring to use the toilet. (flush was exciting!)