I keep putting off potty training - help!

[ChiccaD]

Dear clever MNs. Please tell me how you went about potty training your children.

I keep putting it off and at this rate we will be in primary school before we are out of nappies.

Without waffling on too much about bits and bobs we tried in the past; I asked her tonight shall we take your nappy off? She said yes. Then I say just say potty if you need wee or poo and she went noooo, no potty, no potty…

Thoughts?

Just make it into a game and give choices. I’d say ok, potty or toilet because we don’t wear nappies anymore do we.

also make a big fuss when you use the loo!

2y4m would have been too young for my eldest son. We tried at 2y6m (because I thought he was ready) and it was a complete disaster for a whole week which just stressed everyone out. We tried again at 2y9m and he cracked it in a weekend. So I would wait and make your life easier. Our youngest is 1y5m and has a February birthday so unless he shows strong signs of readiness when we’re at my parents for summer holidays next year (when he is 2y6m) we will likely wait for October half term next year (when he’s 2y8m). At this age there’s REALLY no rush.

Potty learning should start at around 6 months…..that’s the new thinking being endorsed by health professionals now…..too many children starting school in nappies….and far easier for send children to establish routines from an early age …..so as soon as they can sit up with support really

She's still young, school is 5!

I didn't bother i have a very stubborn DC so just let him work it out himself. He did at 3.5

I found the more you pressured the more resistance...

This is why we need to stick with clothe nappies, the plastic ones are too comfortable...

Most children in the UK start school at 4.

School nursery from 3.

It's much better to be done and dusted by then.

My son goes to a preschool where he has to be potty training and he’s a late July birthday so he has to be trained at 3… He’ll have been trained a year when he starts.

Also seen the “boys train later” no they don’t. Mine trained at 2 years 2 months and 2 years 4 months.

It's not young at all! Many children are trained at 2 including my DD.

Compared to previous generations, training is getting later and later because of this whole 'ready' rubbish.

As I said above, no kid will be 'ready,' they can be more willing at an older age but toilet training is taught much like eating, getting dressed, manners etc.

2 years old is fine to start training. As is 3.

You didn't bother?

How lazy.

In my experience they get really bloody stubborn between age 2.5 and 3.5 and its actually harder if you leave it til then.

Plus it's undignified for them. Imagine walking around all day carrying a bag of your own piss

She’s not ready yet. Maybe get her used to the potty (my MIL apparently had potty books for them to just sit on and read to get familiarity) but tbh she’s still fairly young so I wouldn’t really push it if she’s not ready

The equivalent is someone saying shall we go in an aeroplane? Yes! Ok just let me know when you're ready to land it.

She doesn't have the skills yet to know when she needs a wee or a poo but she can learn. You can't expect her to just know, of course she panics at that. Bare bottom initially just so you can link "you are weeing" with the action. That helps her pinpoint what's going on and what she can do about it.

She's absolutely old enough. My little boy was out of nappies at 20 months.

We tried at the weekend but after 2 days of bare bum and telling her to sit on her toilet when she started weeing we've kind of given up for now. She had no cues and didn't seem to know when she was going (26m).

She did manage 1-2 poos and half a wee on the toilet in the 2 days and yesterday told me she needed a wee before she did one. But a few times she was peeing every 10-20 minutes all over the floor, didnt last long enough to make it to the potty right near her.

Might try her in pants as she doesn't like being wet (from water) so we will see!

2 days is nothing, starts to click around day 3/4.

My daughter was at nursery 4 days a week. She potty trained fairly easily at 2 years and 8 months or so, largely after watching other slightly older kids at nursery using the potty and potty training there.

We had talked about it with her, had potties around the house, asked if she wanted to try no nappies a couple of times just over different weekends and when she said yes, would encourage her to go to the potty when she needed to but she tended to have an accident then ask to go back into nappies and we didn't make a big deal out of it and went with her preference.

It happened to work for us, although all kids are different. One day mid week, she just said she didn't want nappies anymore, and just didn't have an accident so didn't ask to go back into nappies.

Give the girl a chance! It's a new skill. And she was managing some success.

The key is being able to reach her and the potty at the same time. This means following with the potty for each activity you're doing e.g. drawing or cars or whatever. It's bloody labour intensive for you, but easy for her. You can't get distracted or look at your phone - all attention on her. Then lift straight on the potty at the first trickle.

Edited for typo

The 'readiness' thing is nonsense, people just use it as an excuse to leave training till later.

My DD trained at 23 months and DS at 26 months.

I agree with above posters that say they really 'get it' on around day 3 or 4.

Can I ask what to do when the child refuses to use the potty? My DS is 26 months. We had a go at 24 months but had to stop as he had worms on day 2. Now I regularly suggest potty but this is 90% of the time met with no. When we tried before, if we picked him up mid wee to put on potty, he kicked and screamed and obviously then wee went everywhere and none in the potty.

First I'd check that the potty is comfortable. Some of the smaller ones really aren't that great. We've got this one (added bonus that it's super easy to empty) and it's less cramped and more supportive DIVCHI Steady Potty with Non-Slip... https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0B8JBPCB8?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

If that's all fine then I'd change your language. Rather than asking if he needs a wee or saying shall we go to the potty, go for "we will do xyz once you've had a wee in the potty". Initially for him you might need to go for "tried to have a wee" if he's totally resistant. And then xyz doesn't happen until he's tried. If he says no then that's fine, just remind him that you won't go to the park/watch TV/play in the garden until he's tried/had a wee. Make sure the thing you suggest is something you can wait on - don't say it if you're going to have to do it anyway. Needs to be calm and no pressure - just matter of fact. Then periodically say to let you know when he's ready to try so that you can do xyz after.

Following!
DS is 2 and a half and we've just started properly trying yesterday. He's been used to the potty for a few months and managed both wees and poos. Yesterday he managed 3 poos and 4 wees in the potty. 2 of the wees he started on the floor and he finished off on the potty (i'd put pants on him so i think i need to not do that yet!). He's not much of a drinker so going to really encourage drinking more today too.

You need to read Oh Crap, and fast.

At 2yrs 4mos you’re not out of time yet, but you’ve only got a couple of months left in the ideal window of 20-30 months.

After 30 months they have too much willpower and stubbornness to just accept it as what we do now.

”Readiness” is a misnomer and an outdated concept. Don’t leave it too late!

I've potty trained each of my children at 3-3.5years. All picked it up quickly without fuss.

I think your child isn't ready yet.