I keep putting off potty training - help!

[ChiccaD]

Dear clever MNs. Please tell me how you went about potty training your children.

I keep putting it off and at this rate we will be in primary school before we are out of nappies.

I literally spent 2 weeks at home with him to get it done. Only took 2 weeks for him to be totally dry in the day, he was 2 and a half years old. You just have to put the effort in and not take the easy route of sticking a nappy on, be prepared for accidents and many changes of clothes.

At 2.5 yrs bought her a potty and every now and then she’d show some interest. She turned 3 a few weeks ago and tbh I was waiting for the summer weather to make life easier given she wasn’t that fussed and I have a young baby. Her nanny bought her some knickers a month or two ago and she woke up one day, announced she was a big girl and didn’t need nappies anymore and has been dry day and night since then (we had one accident). I couldn’t believe it tbh but waiting until she was ready just meant we didn’t actually need to train her at all.

We just told them we were going to try over the weekend and evaluated on Sunday night. The first time we tried, we realised no chance he could go to nursery in pants as he was just having too many accidents. He wasn't really trying himself to use the potty so it wasn't fair to expect nursery to deal with that. The second time when it stuck, we just told them how good he'd been at the weekend and they went from there.

Nursery expect to deal with some accidents during early potty training, but you have to get the child to a decent point first imo.

It's unfair on the child and on the nursery to send them in with only 2/3 days training imo

For my eldest it was easy. I was on mat leave with my youngest so took my eldest out of nursery for the week. It was a bit more challenging finding a week spare with my second. I need my AL entitlement for school holidays and I didn’t feel quite so comfortable having two kids stuck in the house for the 3 days or so.

We did it when DH had a couple of days off too so we could divide and conquer a bit and one stayed home and the other out with the older child. Fortunately DS2 cracked it in a few days. But it was harder to find the time!

My nursery were so so supportive. I think 4 days should be fine. I sent loads (and I mean around 8-10) spare pants, trousers and socks in. I also think that’s an advantage of training before 3 whilst they’re in the toddler room and the ratios are lower.

I didn’t feel quite so comfortable having two kids stuck in the house for the 3 days or so.

I did the exact same with my two. My eldest had to be pretty bored for a couple of days and a bit more screen time.

Just to tell you anecdotally this is NOT what I have seen.

its a smallish sample set (maybe 15 children) but the ones in our group that are 3+ and aren’t trained are giving pushback and there’s a lot more poo based accidents 🤢 It’s a longer harder process from what I see and hear.

we did my Dd at 2y 2m and had 3 poo accidents total.
1 was on day 2, 1 on day 3 (and arguably my “fault” and 1 about 2 weeks in with the childminder.

my friends just turned 3 year old who is “doing it when they are ready” has shat on her living room rug at least 4 times….

As an fyi my Dd still has nappies at night which is pretty common

I've definitely been putting it off with DD2, with DD1 we potty trained at 2.5 over the summer, but as DD2 was 2.5 in deepest winter, I couldn't face dealing with the mess and stress when we're indoors/all bundled up. Tried again at Easter, she was very resistant. About 4 weeks ago she turned 3 and I spoke to her nursery, they were very supportive of it, so we just decided to go cold turkey, no more nappies.

I haven't been able to take any extra time off to do the whole week bare bum method, but we've stayed very close to home in the early days so we'd be close to a toilet. In the first couple of weeks she had daily accidents at nursery, but they're very patient, and her success rate is improving. She's now better with wees, and will tell you 75% of the time when she needs one, but she gets distressed by the idea of having a poo on the toilet.

At this stage, I don't think there's really much in terms of advice, it's just a matter of decide to go for it, and commit to it. Be prepared to do lots of laundry and throw away pants that are beyond redemption.

Can you use the bank holiday at the end of August and a couple of days of annual leave to have 5 days off in a row and get started? If nursery are supportive then once you've had a head start it might be okay.

Good for you. Like I said I managed. But it was more challenging.

It's not young, a lot of people are just lazy nowadays. Most children are ready before age 3 but people just don't want the inconvenience. Obviously if they're not ready they're not ready, but it's a good thing to try, the earlier they're potty trained the better.

This is almost exactly what happened with my DS2 at one week past his third birthday - except I’d bought the pants and the only accident was at nursery when he didn’t push his pants down far enough.

He wasn’t ready when I tried at 27 months as I did with DS1. But basically it was the easiest toilet training ever.

Yep. Do this. I took this approach with both of mine (I think they were both around 2.5)

I just got nursery to do it! They'd done a good foundation of a few months of taking them to the toilet and so the next step was just taking off the pull ups. Both of mine were closer to 3 though but were done within a week with minimal effort from us...

Your child is still young and have over 2 years before they are due to start primary school…

just take a few days off and get it done. Look at the oh crap method, my daughter was trained at 2y3m but we did follow it loosely

It’s very much about your child, girls typically can be ready earlier and the younger you do it the less they’re going to resist (in my experience anyway). I potty trained my daughter at 2y4m, poo wasn’t as straightforward but she was dry very quickly. I bought the ‘oh crap’ potty training book as I didn’t have a clue and wanted something to refer back to and give me some structure. It’s not for everyone but I liked it.

wtf

What's the problem @twotonine they offered we said yes. Why does that upset you? They were clearly ready and had no accidents at nursery unlike friends of ours who started early and had loads of accidents at nursery. Ours were far less bother in the end!

I started potty training at 2. So for the most part nappies were only needed at nursery and bed time.

Nursery offered the 3yr old rate to any children who were potty trained by 2.5, so they could move to the big room where less support was needed. They asked us to provide a few pairs of underwear for accidents so they could support the training there too.

When she turned 3 she asked to stop wearing nappies to bed too. There will be accidents, but that's the point of perseverance.

Ok fair enough.

I waited until after 3 and they were ready, and then they did it easily

The ERIC website has good tips. People only seem to mention them where there's a problem but they've got good guidance.

We recommend this as well. Also, when going commando I used pj shorts for my son, as these were much looser and easier to quickly pull up and down compared to some more fitted clothes!

I’m glad I waited until she was ready and didn’t force it tbh. It was the easiest bit of parenting for me (she’s a terrible sleeper and eater though so I was due something 🤣)

I trained my DS at 22 months. The hard, boring part was staying in for most of a weekend watching a half naked child potter about 😅. After that, he had the basic idea but still had semi-frequent accidents for a couple of weeks.

It was worth it for me, but I was well and truly done changing nappies by that point.