To give my child some money for (hopefully) passing school exams?

[tricerotopsrule]

Just wondering what is reasonable to do to regarding recognising my son hopefully passing his school exams? He put a lot of effort in and I was thinking of giving X amount per exam result. He said a pal is getting £1000 per A which I think is mad but I've no idea what the norm is??

I'm curious to hear how other recognise and award their kids exam results day??

I took my daughter for a mini break to the south of France a week after her last exam. I too wanted to reward the effort - she worked so hard and should get great results but even if she doesn’t get what she expects, her effort has been recognised. More than anything I wanted her younger brother to see this is how we do things. He does ok without putting any effort in. He could do really well if he applied himself.

We didn't give ds anything 2 years ago, and it also didn't seem to be a thing with his friends, although it was joked about a lot. Kids know parents (sometimes) try to keep up with what their friends are getting/friend parents are doing and if a grand for every A sounds farfetched it is because probably isn't true! (unless you fall for it!)

Personal feeling is awarding exam success financial devalues the achievement.

Of course it is much easier parenting wise to dish out the dosh, but much better for dc to learn to recognise, value and feel pride in their own achievements whether that is a A, B or C. ds was bursting with pride when he got his results, he didn't need any cash.

I suspect we will do a trip somewhere he wants to go like NY. Although I don't think it will come with any conditions in regards to grades, just a well done for getting through it so long as I am happy with the effort he has put in!

My mum gave me money for grades back in the 00s, I think she regretted the sum she promised per grade though considering parents weren't given the termly predictions I seem to get these days 😂

Why not treat him.to something, within ur budget, which no doubt he is aware of as opposed to giving him. so much per grade? It been a long time,30 plus years since I did exams. Don't remember getting anything. It wasn't the done thing. Don't set an unrealistic precedent. Also we don't have to be rewarded for everything we do. Hope he gets what he deserves

I really dislike the whole concept of "paying" kids to achieve in their exams. There's something about it that makes me feel queasy. Maybe it's because I've worked with quite a few teens who have come to this country as refugees. These kids view education as a privilege, and the sense of pride and promise of opportunites for further education/employment that come with achieving good exam results are all the incentive they need. I find the contrast quite depressing, the idea that so many kids, who have already had every advantage in life, aren't motivated by anything but cold hard cash.

I also don't like the idea of rewarding results, rather than effort. I think it sends the wrong message. I want my kids to work hard and to do their best, whatever that looks like. I don't want them to feel they have to achieve a particular grade for me to value them or to feel proud of them.

I like a pp's idea of rewarding their effort with a special day out or trip of their choice in between exams and results day.

I will happily give my daughter money for passing her A Levels, if that’s what she wants at the time. She might be motivated by money and want £X for grade A etc. She may feel that would help her strive to do better/study harder and, if instigated by her, we would happily go along with it. She may, as she may hear of the same from her peers.

However, that’s not something I would ever instigate. I believe in appreciating and rewarding her effort, her character, her spirit and her kindness not what score she gets in a test. I believe that those things feed into the scores anyway so if she showed all of those things but ‘only’ got a C, I would want to reward that C as highly as someone else might reward an A - because it’s the best she could do.

We bought a laptop or IPad as a reward for effort. They were going to need these anyway for the next part of their education. My parents paid me per grade, didn't make me work any harder!

We took our dd to Alton towers for finishing her exams as a treat and said we'd give her £100 for every A she got (so 7 or above). Said she'd get an extra £100 if she got all As but that won't happen.

Said she'd get an extra £100 if she got all As but that won't happen.

Don't you think that is sending her a bit of a message though that if she doesn't get all As she hasn't done "that well"? If she's not even expecting all As it feels like you're setting rewards that don't even reflect her own effort and ability.

I am rewarding mine financially per grade. It has motivated DD to revise and work at her exams. She's bright but lazy and had lost all motivation by Y11. She is not spoilt in any other ways, gets hardly any pocket money and never bought top spec goods.

Starting at £150 for 9's and reducing by £25 until 5's, nothing for 4's or less. She's predicted 6-8's so should do quite well out of it.

I totally understand others reasoning that they should work hard for themselves and the grades themselves should be the reward. However I've decided that a tangible reward at this stage would be beneficial. Similarly to a bonus as work for meeting targets.

It has been proven that extrinsic rewards erode intrinsic motivation so this has the opposite of the desired effect in making a better student who actually wants to do well for themselves. However, I am a parent and get it. If it's too late for your child, I understand the appeal in absolute desperation.

I didn't fall for all that 'X's parents are giving her ££££ for each A she gets' bollocks from my kids. When they asked me what they would get if they got good grades I said 'A future' 😂
We did take them out to celebrate their results though 😁

So you give your 15/16 year old child hardly any pocket money but are prepared to give her potentially around £1000 for GCSE results.

I hope this is better than you make it sound - which is rather financially controlling.

None of my DCs friends parents gave them money. We did for our two eldest.

I said for their GCSEs we would give

£20 for a 4
£25 for a 5
£30 for a 6
£35 for a 7
£40 for an 8
£45 for a 9

I think for A Levels as it’s only three I’ll do £125 for an a* then go down £25 the lower the result.

We aren’t well off but I’ll save as I think they work so hard and nothing wrong with giving them something to look forward to.

If she wants more money day to day, she should get a pt job 🤷‍♀️, she won't because she's lazy, see above post.

This is a subject that always divides opinions on MN year after year but we are very happy with our decision.

For her GCSE's I gave my daughter £100 for each A*, £75 for an A, £60 for a B, and £50 for a C. It was a great motivator for her and she actually started working hard once she started study leave. It cost me a fortune, but was well worth it.

My SEN and anxiety prone DC are not naturally academic so I wanted to show them how proud I was that they tried their best. They both got generous amounts for exams they passed, regardless of grades achieved .

I don't know about your area, but round here it's nigh on impossible to get a part time job prior to the end of Year 11, and definitely before age 16.

I find it very distasteful that you only give her a small amount of pocket money when you can clearly afford more. And if she did spend her time on a part time job, how exactly would that help her to spend more time studying?

Find it distasteful all you like 👍

Brilliant 😂