To give my child some money for (hopefully) passing school exams?

[tricerotopsrule]

Just wondering what is reasonable to do to regarding recognising my son hopefully passing his school exams? He put a lot of effort in and I was thinking of giving X amount per exam result. He said a pal is getting £1000 per A which I think is mad but I've no idea what the norm is??

I'm curious to hear how other recognise and award their kids exam results day??

Well because he wasn’t going to offer 50p was he

I have never and will never offer a financial incentive to my children for exams. They know they’re expected to work hard and know that their grades will open doors to them. I will take my DD out for dinner on results day regardless of results but absolutely will not be giving her any money

Yes and I'd be praising to the hilt what ever the result is.

They feel the negativity enough if they don't do well and surf on well deserved self pride if they do.

I think we did twenty for A's ten for B's and five for C's.

Think there was some motivation for studying but never made a big deal about results

I have never and will never offer a financial incentive to my children for exams

Same...assuming GCSEs lead to A levels and then Uni, will the parents also incentive for a degree?

My DC will get money, sometimes, after A level results but that will be for Uni costs.

I recall similar fairy tales when I was teaching, massive payouts, allegedly! Maybe the parents can confidently promise £1000 for an A, knowing there isn't a hope in hell of their child achieving it, my parents could have promised me £1 million for becoming a brain surgeon.

Dreadful idea. So on results day could be double disappointment of not getting the grade they wanted and not getting cash!
And what if your DC have different abilities?
We just had a nice family meal each time.

My reward for passing my GCSEs was avoiding the bollocking I'd have got for failing 🤣. But seriously, in a couple of years I won't be giving my DS money for grades. We may have a celebratory pizza or something but that's it (he is expected to get good results). If the results are not as expected I will help him work with what he's got. Intrinsic motivation is vital for future success and finding their subject/area is key to this. So even if someone doesn't get great GCSEs there will be a college course or other opportunity that's a good match somewhere.

I would be very sceptical at £1000 per A.
Somewhere between £10 and £100 seemed to be typical among my dc's friends.

But I do find the "reward for effort only" patronising. Do you think that at their age they haven't worked out a B isn't as good as an A? Don't you think that if they're disappointed, saying "you put in so much effort, so proud" that's actually worse, because they're hearing "I didn't think you were capable"?

And "we're going out/holiday whatever because they worked so hard" is not really a reward, is it? That's for the end of exams, not results day.

Fine, go out when they've finished the exams to celebrate the hard work finishing, but having got the result then if they're disappointed, then they're not going to feel "oh well my family thinks I worked hard, so it doesn't matter", but if they have done well, then they may feel that you don't really feel that pleased because you were going out anyway, so you feel that their good results don't matter.

And rewarding for effort, how does that actually work? Can you tell?
And how do you decide if they deserve the effort reward or not? It's subjective.
One child may apparently do little work because they're quieter about it.
What if they haven't put in full effort? Are you not rewarding them?
If they got all top grades are you then going to not reward them for not putting the effort in, even though they didn't need to?

I was always told how much cleverer my siblings were and, oh, how hard they worked. You know, one year my db even decided he needed to work Christmas day... This was at the point he'd been asked to help with washing up (no dishwasher), and he didn't actually do any work, but my parents fell for it. They still hold that up as how dedicated he was.
I was told what I was good at came easy to me and I really didn't put the effort in, but they were so much cleverer than me in every other way.
I didn't actually feel I deserved my results.

It was years later when it suddenly clicked to me that on paper I had actually achieved as well/slightly better than them. So either I was cleverer than I had been told, or I'd worked harder than everyone thought...
And when I thought about it I realised that I had worked hard. I had done a lot of work, but I made much less fuss about it. All my parents would have known was I was in my room with no huffing about everyone else having to be silent or spending Sunday lunch them that I had solved Fermat's last Theorem finally after days of work.

We gave ds money for each 9 he got in GCSE and A* in A Levels.
The important thing for us was that we never told him we were going to do it , we did it after he got his results, that way it wasn't an incentive (you should never incentivise study)

I gave mine/bribed her 10 quid for every one above a C (gcse) then 50 quid if she passed English above C and another £50 if she got C or above in maths. I was skint that month but it was worth it

Back in the mid 90's my parents gave me $500 to complete & pass my final year of schooling. I did, by half a mark. It meant more to them than me but I got my $500. It was alot of money back then

My children were rewarded by effort. They all went to Reading festival. I actually only heard about their results for GCSE from the festival..they all did well!

We gave ours some cash after finishing GCSEs but before results. It was for effort and to have a good summer with before A levels.

I didn’t give a monetary reward per grade, I want my children to study because they want to do well for their future. It needs to come from them. It would also be grossly unfair, as I have some very academic children and some with SEN. We did celebrate the end of GCSE’s with a special family holiday. Some of their friends did have a monetary value per grade but it didn’t sit right with me.

I really dislike this as a concept. My grandparents did it to us, £10 for an A, £8 for a B etc. It was awful imo as the grandchildren got different amounts depending on how academic they were. I’m still angry that my parents allowed it and I felt uncomfortable at the time (not uncomfortable enough to turn down £100 at the age of 16, granted).

If I give dc anything it will be ‘money to treat yourself after your hard work’, and a meal out on results day. I gave ds an Xbox voucher when he finished his exams and a hamper of his favourite treats. We’ll go out for a family meal when he gets his results.

I have already given my pair a gift for GCSE effort, I didn't want it linked to results.
They both tried hard which is all I can ask for.

Maybe his friend isn't very smart since his parents said 1000 knowing he's never get As....but it make him try harder.
I got 10.00 per pass.

Wow, how the other half live!

My DS put a massive amount of effort into his GCSEs, and is predicted mainly 9s and 8s. He wants to study Physics at Oxford, which is a world away from what our family is used to.

Sadly for him, I've not got tuppence to rub together. I'm a care worker, and I'm hoping to save to get him a Domino's pizza on results day.

This thread feels so alien to me. I'm shocked that people are actually paying their teenagers to achieve. My DS wants to achieve, in order to better himself.

I would hope that it would feel like a lot of money to a teenager NOW!

All kids are different, some work for rewards and some don't. The amount you choose is down to what you can afford but if the kid/student is inspired by reward then make it worthwhile for them to put in the extra. Explain you don't physically have £1k per A*, but this is what you do have. Absolutely got to celebrate the wins!

We told my daughter she could have something for every one she passed (5+) we told her back in September, and we saw a huge improvement in attendance and attitude- this also reflected in mock results improving for all subjects

in addition she found a great course she wanted to go on at college, but she needed to get 5GCSE at 5+.

time will tell if it worked !

( when I say something- a new hoodie , pair of trainers for college her choice)

realistically, I think she will just scrape through with enough passes .

if she does terrible, she will have to do a year of level 2 course

if she nearly passes five at five , she should be able to do the course with a resit of the gcse that needs a five

or she will go straight onto the year three if she gets everything

im more worried than she is!

I have a much cherished video of my Dad offering me money for passing exams. It got lower and lower as he realised my predicted grades were quite high. I always crack up watching it. He’s long passed away now but it was a thing 20 years ago 😊

Was it worth it? Do you think she would have got massively dissimilar grades if you hadn't offered the money?

My parents gave my niece £50 for getting excellent results in her GCSEs. They gave my DS nothing. I only found out a lot later, when there was nothing I could do about it really.