To give my child some money for (hopefully) passing school exams?

[tricerotopsrule]

Just wondering what is reasonable to do to regarding recognising my son hopefully passing his school exams? He put a lot of effort in and I was thinking of giving X amount per exam result. He said a pal is getting £1000 per A which I think is mad but I've no idea what the norm is??

I'm curious to hear how other recognise and award their kids exam results day??

Wow those are crazy amounts! My kids aren’t near exam age yet but when they are they will get a little reward for their effort not their result

I gave £200 per grade 7-9. £100 grade4-6. It really helped motivate him and was worth every penny. He left school with good gcse’s versus really shit results which he was heading for. I won’t do the same for uni. Not decided yet if I will for A levels but I don’t think I will because he is working hard now he’s doing what he’s interested in.

My DS is currently awaiting GCSE results. He's bright enough but for some reason study skills didn't come easily to him (I remeber I just instinctively knew how to revise).

After lots of false starts during Y11 I finally sat down and created a realistic daily reveison planner for him for the final 8 weeks or so. I told him I'd get him a substantial gift (hobby related) if he stuck to the plan.

The combination of a clear plan and a really good incentive did make a difference. He still did far less work than I did at that age, but he pretty much stuck to the plan and feels confident that he's done OK. Have gone through the process now with GCSEs he says he is going to work harder for A Levels, but we will see 😀

Personally I really didn't like the idea of monitising individual grades for individual subjects. Although rewarding the improvement from mocks, as suggested by a PP, makes more sense. Although I wouldn't want to suggest that until after they had done their mocks, in case they deliberately lowered the bar!

I will be using financial reward for Dd when she takes exams. They work hard and I don’t expect to work for free. Plus if a monetary incentive works I’m not sure why parents wouldn’t.

I would probably do £100 per A (or whatever they are now) and taper down.

🤣

I despair when I see this sort of post tbh. The grades themselves are the reward, if you know you worked for them. A small celebratory meal and a small gift should be more than enough.

My DD got her grades last year, we had a lovely meal out to celebrate 🥳
surely giving money per grade is not a done thing?! It’s certainly not something I’ve known anyone to do.
the satisfaction for them should be getting the grades that they deserve and that open up opportunities to go onto A levels etc, not a financial reward.
plus, if they don’t do as well as they hoped they will then be doubly disappointed - both with the grade and less money

I don’t agree with this at all - I reward the effort by treating DC to a nice meal or a day trip to acknowledge when they’ve worked really hard but the achievement itself (and what it leads to) should be the reward.

Also, what if they work really hard and don’t achieve what they hoped? They’re already disappointed then they also lose a reward? I know that happens in real life but it’s harsh imo.

If you have more than one child, definitely don't do it. It will massively heighten any comparison between them which could be very damaging for their relationship. At that age motivation should be largely intrinsic, so I don't think it's helpful for that. I also think that unless the difference between grade rewards is pretty extreme it can be easy to think, oh well the lower amount is fine.

Just take a moment to imagine your child being really upset on results day because they didn't get what they hoped and worked for. Then they also get the message from you that they failed and lose their reward. Is that the message that you want them to get? Will that help them work harder next time, or just make them feel worse?

That is really lovely @MissJimmysjumpers

I was interested to read this - in what way poisoned?

I haven’t promised any reward based on grades, I’ve got two teens with different academic ability so it would be decisive. My oldest is waiting for GCSE results. She had extreme anxiety due to ASD and I was incredibly proud that she sat all her exams. I’m taking her to London for a festival to see her favourite singer and a Westend show. This is for effort and not linked to results. Will do the same for hard working, academic younger DC.

We gave DS £50 for every top grade GCSE and I promised him a car if he got all A grades at A level. He got them so he got a 5k car out of me. Before anyone goes on about the joy of education DH and I work/worked in higher education for decades and whilst DS is way above average academically he does not like studying in the traditional sense. It’s why he is now thriving on a degree apprenticeship and the traditional route would have been less of a success. If anything it’s harder work.

We gave ours an incentive of money for their National exams and then covid hit so their higher exams were graded on course work, we still have them a gift of money for their grades.

money is a great incentive for teens.

money was used for an incentive when I was a teen(many years ago)!

I remember getting £10 for every C or above back in the early 00's. When I read someone got 5k my mind was blown. Very jealous.

Not the same but my son got his SATs results recently and he got £10 per "pass" so ended up with £60. He knew the incentive from the beginning. I can't see me affording much more than that when it comes to GCSE's unfortunately - he's the eldest of 4 and I barely keep my head above water as it is.

We have never given anything. I think it is getting out of control. People give money for results, gifts, flowers, all the expense of proms and leavers. Then university graduation. We are probably tight, but the achievement is the reward. We go out for meals. No gifts, no money.

We did a gift immediately post exams and so a couple of months before results - went halves with DD on a new iPad. She got 5 x 8 and 6 x 9 so did brilliantly but the point was rewarding how hard she’d worked. If it had been for results and she hadn’t done as well as she wanted she’d have been doubly gutted and I’d have wanted to be supporting and reassuring her in that scenario, not withholding something.

My DD needs some motivation. She is very bright, but lazy!!

I offer her £50 for a grade 8 and £100 for a grade 9 in secondary school end of term assessments.

She spends her money on clothes, so things that I would probably end up buying anyway, so no biggie.

Different children need different encouragement.

I agree. We told our son we were proud of his efforts, went out for a family meal & offered to buy him a gift of his choosing (within reason!) - can't even remember what it was!

I received
£1 for every O Level
£5 for maths O Level

However, I was already motivated & the promise of money was not the reason that I did well

Don't reward success. Award effort.

Not everyone will get across the board As or 9s.

In fact some of the students who won't and don't work harder.

Suggest a day out or weekend away doing something he loves as recognition for his hard work.

It used to be that teens would be planning a holiday and they'd get the promise of spending money. That was when 16/17 year olds could fly out to Spain and even do a few days work, or pick up a summer job. So this has always been a thing. It just depends on your teen. A promise of so many driving lessons etc seems to be usual as well. It depends on your income.

I gave some money to mine when they did 11+/GCSEs but it was for the effort they put it. It wasn't conditional on them passing. As you say he's put a lot of effort in and that will remain if he passes or not.

I’m mid fifties and we weren’t rewarded with anything and I don’t recall my friends being offered anything either. So I don’t know when it became a thing. About 20 years ago I worked for a really horrible woman who offered to buy her daughter a horse if she did well in her GCSEs, safe in the knowledge that she wouldn’t get high grades as she wasn’t academic. Really sickened me did that.