How sick do you have to be to ask husband to come home?

[sickandtiredtoday]

DH is working today (he works every other weekend). I am home with our 3 year old feeling like death - it started yesterday with a sore scratchy throat and losing my voice, a bit headachy, and today it's horrendous pain when I try to swallow, sinus pain all over my face, banging headache and the room spins when I stand. I'm too nauseous to eat. My 3 year old wants to go swimming as we usually do on a Saturday morning and I genuinely think I'd collapse if I tried. I know I can't ask him to come home from work but I do not know how I'm going to survive the day😭 Is it ever acceptable to ask DH to come home as I just can't do it today? Any tips on how I can make it through the day til 6om with a toddler feeling like this 😩

Unless you're dangerously ill (ie risk of unconsciousness) I think you've got to suck it up but let him know to leave bang on time (maybe a little early if he can). Do not try to do anything except survive - tv all day, lots of snacks, lie on the sofa the whole time

Are you joking?

For when this happens again (because it will) you need to get some phone numbers for good babysitters who can take her of your hands for a few hours, or local friends who can offer an emergency play date. This gets easier when they're in school as there's an immediate network.

...he is a police officer, lol.

I haven't spoken to him at all today no. Sometimes he's in touch at different points during the day if he gets a chance. Nothing today so assuming he's having a busy day. Only an hour left to survive (assuming he gets away on time)

Yes it is acceptable to ask him to come home. Priority is your child- can you realistically meet their needs? Unlikely. Nothing wrong with asking for help or him to come back. It will give you a chance to recover (hopefully faster) too.

Update: husband is home and I've handed over (thank god). I'm off to bed!!

Yay 🙌 hope you're feeling better very soon.... I've just had a horrible sore throat for about 3 weeks now but a couple of days into it I really struggled looking after my little one who never stops talking and I couldn't talk 🙄

I hope you’re feeling a bit better today, OP.

@sickandtiredtoday my DC are now adults but i do remember asking my DH to come home early on one occasion as I was literally throwing up continually and the other end too 😳 and was completely unable to function or make them tea.

It depends on the child. A 3 year old without any additional needs could be left to entertain themselves for 1 day. Cuddles watching movies, picnic type lunch to save on cooking, time playing alone with their toys. You may even be able to nap if you feel he is safe.
A child with additional needs would be different, if you are having to have an eye on him at all times to make sure he is safe and you physically cannot manage that then I don't think it would be unreasonable for your DH to take the day off if there was no one else available to help.

Aw poor you, I’ve been in this situation with my 3 children and nobody to look after them when I had viral labyrinthitis .
At least they played together I suppose and I found some toys they’d forgotten about which was good .
I let them have too much TV time and snacks ..house was a mess 😳

Honestly, I'd say 'physically incapable of providing a safe space' ill, e.g. stuck permanently on the loo, or having to dash off there at a moment's notice.

If I felt like death I'd use my brain to override how my body was feeling, because I'm good at that and get results with it, and also regularly take ibuprofen or paracetamol. That obviously gets even better results. I would send my DH a message to explain I wasn't well, but I wouldn't expect them to drop everything; it would be more of a 'if you can, please would you come home?' request.

In terms of my child, I'd cheat and use a lot of screens.

Arf…I was extremely ill when my dh stopped working…like 40C temp+ but then it depends mainly of your DH job?

It is sofa, cover, cookie and crisps kinda day! It is good DC sees you selfcare and « not doing » to care for yourself. Shoes a great exemple …And DC will loves not having veggie 🤣🤣

Yup.. I'd have got him straight home. Wish you better.

How are you today Op ?

“Oh my, I’ve just seen on the internet that the pool is closed today but will be open next week.”

It works for the park/mcdonalds/nursery if needed 😂

Some good advice above. Strongly suggest you don't go out with an infection. Try Sambuco pastilles and/or honey and lemon for sore throat. Keep warm, paracetamol is your friend. Boost your immune system with vitamin D3 and K2 plus zinc and quercetin. (Look it up.) Lots of vitamin C too.
Ask husband to call into Boots or other chemist for these. Boots have very nice chewable vitamin C tablets. Eat several daily.
If it's a runny nose thing, Echinacea is very good. Take as per instruction on bottle.
Good luck.

Paracetamol and plenty of hot drinks. Sit down when you can and do as little as possible. It's likely you will survive.

Of course you do! It’s what we all do.
It’s called being a mum; we suck up all of our ailments until the child is asleep and then we die 💀 but that doesn’t mean that a day of nothing cannot be had.
You just look after yourself. Self care because no one else is goig to do it for us.

I can assure you that your daughter is not going to hold this against you even if she asks again about going.
No point mum guilting over this.

I dont understand why people are saying he can't leave his work because he's a police officer, why can't he? He has a family at home that need him. My husband is also a police officer and I had the worst fever ,nausea and migraine once. We've got 3 little ones 7,5 and 1. He came home, he had too I had no one else to look after them

I would if I was so ill I thought I couldn’t keep child safe, or if my own safety was at risk (risk of loss of consciousness etc). If I were that ill I wouldn’t be chatting on mumsnet though.
Why don’t you call him and say you’re really sick and if he can get away early/leave promptly that’d be good (and don’t expect dinner!).

Hope you feel better soon...and the little one doesn't catch it too badly

For future reference...
Keep a supply of over the counter meds at home. You can get through a few packets of painkillers in three days between a family and you don't want to be hauling yourself to the pharmacy when you feel shit, nevermind infecting others.

Also have a supply of food that is easily obtainable by your preschooler. For example some drinks cartons, crackers rice cakes , raisins etc. (whatever they eat)

They can fetch it and bring it to you to eat near you.

Teach her how to call in an emergency if you fall and pass out...etc

Two autistic kids, single parent...
The worst was synchronised vomitting...holding a bowl for both myself and DD after both catching it off the other kid.
And COVID 2020 (presumably unless there was something else seriously nasty going round.)
Having to concentrate on breathing and lying still to keep oxygen sats up above 92 but also having to hook myself up to go and feed the kids.

(Got COVID again later, when the little bugger huffed right up my nose...)

I'd definitely ask DW to come home if I felt that unwell with our DC.
If he really can't come home though, then as a precaution I'd get a friend or family member to check in on you at regular intervals (even just to call or text) due to how bad you're feeling as my worry would be fainting and the DC not being able to get help.

Hope you feel better soon OP 💐