How sick do you have to be to ask husband to come home?

[sickandtiredtoday]

DH is working today (he works every other weekend). I am home with our 3 year old feeling like death - it started yesterday with a sore scratchy throat and losing my voice, a bit headachy, and today it's horrendous pain when I try to swallow, sinus pain all over my face, banging headache and the room spins when I stand. I'm too nauseous to eat. My 3 year old wants to go swimming as we usually do on a Saturday morning and I genuinely think I'd collapse if I tried. I know I can't ask him to come home from work but I do not know how I'm going to survive the day😭 Is it ever acceptable to ask DH to come home as I just can't do it today? Any tips on how I can make it through the day til 6om with a toddler feeling like this 😩

I’ve parented from the living room floor before 🫣

I did phone DH 2 years ago when I’d just got DC into (fairly deep) paddling pool and suddenly started feeling very sick- DC had an awful vomiting bug 2 days before so I knew it was a virus. Basically said ‘I’m laying on the grass trying not to vomit, can’t go inside to vomit because kids might drown- any chance you can come home’? 🫣😂

Hope you feel better soon!!

Soft play or playground when she is saying she is really ill? Do you think this is a good idea both for her and for others?

He's salaried in the police, he wouldn't lose pay or need to make up hours.

Op says she's dizzy and thinks she will faint, that says she's not really fit to look after a small child.

I mean this gently but if I was in as much pain as you say I’d not be able to post on mumsnet repeatedly.

so on that basis, and the fact he’s old bill and can’t leave easily, I’d power through.

We have napped for just under 3 hours 😳
I didn't realise how much I needed sleep. DD is still trying to stay asleep and she never naps for this long. I'm not sure why the longer sleep, I really hope she isn't getting what I have.
I do not feel remotely better either. Just sat up slowly and the room still spinning 😩

Are you saying I'm lying?
And good for you, we are all different, I'm struggling to stand, talk or walk about without feeling dreadful, but I can type on a phone a few times. Doesn't mean I'm lying 🙄

Your symptoms sound like what everyone around me has tested positive for COVID. You probably should be in bed. I'd ask him to come home.

Thank you for such a kind reply, I needed that x

She wouldn’t be asking him to look after her as an adult, she would be asking him to look after their child while she is incapacitated and potentially unsafe to do so?!

what’s DH Job OP? I would ask but DH works in an office, could WFH, has flexible hours etc…. Would DH be able to make the time up/get paid if he left? I think this is relevant.

If no one around can even give you an hour then the day will need to be lots of TV time, horizontal playing….. don’t feel guilty. Do what you can. X

I would ask my husband to come home in this situation and I have done before. I wouldn’t dream of leaving him alone with our toddler if he was really ill. So in my opinion it’s also unacceptable the other way round.

I mean - if I genuinely couldn't cope, I would just call my husband, not dither about on a forum getting strangers to decide for me.

Only OP knows whether she's unsafe or not - if she is, then she's being irresponsible by not speaking up. If she's not and just feels really shitty, then unfortunately that's just part of being a parent. You just have to suck it up as best you can.

@StormingNorman
He's also working tomorrow 😭
I can only pray I feel a bit more human by then.
He will definitely be coming home and taking over tea bath and bed though, he's great like that, so I'm just holding out for that!

If the room spins when you stand, it’s probably time to call in reinforcements. My rule was when I was no longer safe supervision for our child. There is a difference between being miserable all day and possibly not being able to stop a 3yo from doing something stupid.

i get debilitating migraines so I had to set a high bar otherwise I would have had to call him too often.

When I'm poorly and have ds (6 now but have done this when younger), we make a nest - push the sofas together, bring the double duvet down, movies on and I nap (with a hand on ds so I wake if he moves) whilst he chills, works well.

Another win is to let her have a really long bath with lots of toys in - you can supervise sitting on the loo whilst she plays - I can usually get 45 minutes this way!

The op wouldn’t be asking him to look after her as an adult. She’d be asking him as a dad to parent his own child, because she’s unwell. There is no chance at all a nanny would turn up feeling like this. I bet her dh wouldn’t go to work feeling like this. I get so angry reading posts that say women, mums, shouldn’t ever catch a break because their child’s other parent is a dad who has a job. She’s feeling guilty her 3yo doesn’t get to swimming and here you are implying she’s being pathetic and I presume intentionally misinterpreting the ask. Which is to look after the child.

Viruses are infectious hence why you need to mitigate. It’s unfair to make all household members sick because you didn’t take the right precautions in isolating and masking.

What is the point of this? Are you saying she should lock her 3yo in a different room? It’s impossible to tell what you mean. Yes viruses are infectious. What is she supposed to do about that exactly? There is not an option of a trip to an isolation ward.

Tbh OP you need to tell her fairly sternly you are not well enough to take her swimming today so this will NOT be happening. Yes she may feel upset but you need to nip it in the bud now so that she knows where you stand and isn't going to spend all day pestering thinking swimming might happen. This is one of those situations where you does up on OTC medicine, shove the telly on and just try and get through the day.

@PinkyPonkyLittleDonkey sorry, are you suggesting I isolate myself from my toddler? Who would otherwise be alone in the house and unable to look after herself?

Oh get a grip 🙄

If it's a cold (which it is), you say nothing and you just hunker down at home with your kid. If he was a surgeon/soldier/police officer you couldn't ask him to come home, so why would you do so with any other kind of job?

Hope you're betters soon!

I only ever did this once when I felt the strangest I ever felt and knew I was very ill. When he got home I went upstairs and didn't come down for about 2 weeks! I had flu and oh lord I have never ever ever been that ill before or since

Have you spoken to DH? Not specifically to come home, but give him the opportunity to do so if he can, and maybe pick up a take-away and some snacks/finger foods for tomorrow if it sounds like you might still be feeling unwell tomorrow, as another picnic on the floor might be needed. Also a supply of lemsip or similar if you think that might help.

I sympathise, it's not great trying to parent when you feel so unwell.

<touches wood>

Big Leap there.