Not trying to be inflammatory but why do people *need* more than two kids?

[ConstantlyFuriosa]

Just that.

I've got 5 kids and I'm a full-time teacher. My husband also works in a professional job. I'm definitely not bored or trying to fill void!

I have 5. I have a good career with flexible working patterns, which I availed of when they were young. Current salary is in excess of 100k. They all had their own bedrooms, as there is an age gap. Older 3 are all moved out and in good jobs, relationships. I am currently on a 2 week holiday with youngest dd giving her plenty of 1 on 1 time. Dh is bringing youngest ds away for 10 days when we get home giving him similar. I have someone to clean house so beds are changed weekly. Am I a perfect parent, hell no, but even with 1 child i would still be the same parent. Do I regret it or look for state or family support? No. It's an individual choice for each family and no one else's business.

Never heard anyone say they need kids….just that they want them 🤷‍♀️

It’s a bit silly to keep blasting the OP with ‘no one needs any’. No, one one ‘needs’ kids, but a country certainly needs kids to keep a stable population and that means an average fertility rate of 2.1 children per woman – so someone needs to have them from that perspective, don’t they? Considering not all women will have children and some will have one child, then it’s needs to be the case that some will ‘need’ to have more than two in order to meet that average.

How anyone decides who gets to have this ‘excess’ of two is always going to be arbitrary, pointless and possibly discriminatory.

DH & I discussed and felt we could give two children a good life. Fortunately, I had no desire to have more. If we had more we would have had to move house, get a new car and less holidays. If you can afford more than two then why not.

We had just one child, and have enjoyed being able to travel all over the world with her, we would have struggled financially if we’d had more. We briefly claimed working tax credit when my husband lost his job. I remember as a child that these benefits didn’t exist. Both my parents worked, my dad was in the building trade which at the time was very up and down so we depended on my mums income, she worked part time as a HCA. During these phases we really had to knuckle down and go without, it wasn’t pleasant at all.

I feel that the two child policy is sufficient, I’ll probably be shot down now for saying this, but growing up when this didn’t exist, something is better than what we got 🤷‍♀️

Won't shoot you down by we've taken five children traveling the world, more than once, before taking them home to their own bedrooms. We weren't rich either.

This.

i found having two quite stressful and divisive - eldest with daddy, baby with mummy - the third left us outnumbered so we had to stick together! It’s been such a laugh, genuinely, I wouldn’t have it any other way. We could afford it so we did it. Plus I was one of 3 so it felt right. (He was one of 5 and that was NOT right, there was neglect and bullying as his mum and dad couldn’t afford them and couldn’t cope.)

Well, not over here.. Had 4 children between the ages of 31- 39. One father … Russell Group Uni graduate, Masters, Career bla bla bla.

Some of us just enjoy larger families.
It’s not that complicated.

Have you been living under a rock?! The world actually needs less people. You know, climate change and the fact that we are literally eating the world.

Nobody "needs" any.

Similar here, had three but would have loved three more.

No one needs any, I can see why people don't want just one (no judgement as we are happily one and done), but you're right no one needs more than two; some people want more though even if they don't have the financial security nor the logistics such as a big enough house to cope. It's selfishness at that point, I say this as someone who grew up in a crowded property in poverty simply because my parents just wanted a few more kids, ew

I have 3, but have always earned over the threshold for child benefit, so does that mean I’m ‘allowed’ my 3?

Not being inflammatory, but .... 😂

No – have you had any education?

I didn’t say a growing population, I said a stable one. A reducing population creates its own problems with increased economy and health and social care issues. The solution isn’t simply ‘have less kids’, it means managing social and infrastructural welfare at a population rate than is neither drastically reducing or increasing.

I don't think anyone needs it but some people feel the need. Some people absolutely love parenthood and having children and just feel the more the merrier.
We stopped at two but started late.

Disagree. Most kids need a space that's their own.

Who cares how many kids people need or want, as long as they can support them it's none of my business.

Having your own room is really a privilege and luxury many of the world can only dream of. It was important to me that my kids had their own rooms, and they did, but it wasn't a necessity.

Nah. A bedroom to yourself is a very recent Western phenomenon. In fact I'd go as far as to say too much time in a space of their own is very bad for lots of kids.

👆

We could all go back to the whole family sharing one space

And sharing a room and having no space of their own is very bad for a lot of kids and later on teens as well.

Is it though? I actually think too much time by themselves is a major cause of the current teen mental health crisis. Far too much time spent pontificating and falling down internet rabbit holes.