DH won’t stop talking

[Notpop]

We’re on holiday with a group of friends and their various DCs, some teens, some young adults. When we’re all together for example at dinner or drinks DH just dominates the conversation to the extent I can see people just glaze over. He has no idea that no one is interested in the constant stream of words he’s producing and that no one else can get a word in edgeways. My own DC get fed up with it and often won’t sit anywhere near him and he doesn’t take kindly to any form of criticism whether it be constructive or just plain telling him how it is. It’s becoming embarrassing both for him and me. AIBU or should we all just suck it up?

If he’ll really kick off at being corrected, I would start to forcefully interrupt him and ask other people as many questions as you can to give them the floor and start other discussions. It will probably be tiring, but I’d keep at it.

You definitely need to tell him privately. People like that annoy me so much

That's awful for everyone except him. Can't one of your friends butt in with a question about that topic to someone else in the group. "Oh that happened to Dave, didn't it, Dave?"

Is your husband in a position of power at work? Hard to see it wouldn't have been stamped on there, really.

Has he always been like this? Does drink exacerbate the monologues? Hard to know what to suggest that won’t look like a public put down - I would try and steer towards group games (we do Headbandz on one person’s phone and pass it round) or charades if you’re all round a table so everyone gets a break from it and you get to keep your friends!!!

My BIL is the same. You simply cannot have a conversation with someone without him interrupting and joining in, he even leaps in from another room to comment. He also dominates the dinner table.

Can't you just change the subject when he pauses for breath or start talking to someone else or say 'How about you Sandra?' and ask for someone else's opinion. But really you need to have a word.

Oh please talk to him, people like this are so annoying. Tell him he's being annoying and rude, you're married, you should be able to have these conversations.

Well, since dinners etc are a huge social part of a holiday then it’s safe to say he is ruining a lot of the holidays for others. You’re literally ruining other people’s holidays. Speak to him. You need to have a conversation with your husband about his behaviour. If you’re too scared to then you need to start interrupting him and asking other people questions, get them talking. But seriously, speak to your husband.

I'd have a word on the quiet. "Dave, you're just talking and talking and talking, I'm not sure if you've noticed but people are glazing over when you talk incessantly and giving each other looks. Can you please try and tone it down a bit?"

It’s obviously not embarrassing for him if he is just carrying on, however embarrassing it is for you.
A quiet word with him is probably the best you can do.

Why is it her job to fix it? You say he doesn't take well to criticism so I'd do what the kids do and refuse to sit with him 😂

Because in the hierarchy of who should confront him, she comes before all their friends. So yeah, she has to. Or she can go along with his behaviour and ruin their holidays and also never be invited to a group thing again.

This.
I actually RUN away from them.

This.

It's not your job to manage him by initiating other conversations, games of charades, interrupting him to try and give other people the floor. That will be exhausting and possibly more exhausting that listening to him drone on and on.

Have a word with him.

Not fixing or addressing his issues is not ruining other people's holiday though is it? He is. Why is it her fault how he behaves? Anyone can speak up and tell him he's an arse! Edited to say I am not being annoying just fed up of men being plainly annoying and women expected to smooth things over for them

Most people attempt not to humiliate people they care about in public.

Exactly but she's not the one humiliating anyone is she

She will be if she tells him to shut up and stop droning on.

I am married to a similar man. (40 years). We have few friends because of this. It doesn't get any better. It's mortifying as you already know. Don't know what the answer is. I sympathise.

Oh god! He needs telling that a conversation is a two way thing.

Not him bunnying on for fucking hours.

Oh this is so tedious - a friends partner was like this and I simply couldn’t bear it any longer. I was a bit rude and asked for the 7in version. My friend had to explain to him what I meant as he was so unaware.

I think it’s time for someone (not necessarily you OP) to call him out. Perhaps sort of jokingly (but not really)

This would irritate me so much. I once had a boyfriend like this when I was early 20s. I'm glad it was a short relationship as it was embarrassing. Has he always been like this?

You need to let him know. Is he always like this?

What?

Why should OP 'fix' him.

If people are pissed off enough to make comment or to do something about it, thats for them. If they're pissed off but dont want to interject or try to have some floor time, thats also for them

OP can interject if she has also got something to say perhaps, but trying to engineer the situation isnt her job.

Really?

And should a husband 'confront' his wife if this was the other way round?

'Sharon, can you tone it down a bit, people are glazing over when you talk incessantly.'

Im sure that would go down in mumsnet bingo of red flags, controlling, LTB,