Can ex demand holiday details?

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Two kids are under five. First court hearing about the kids is next week. Ex doesn't see kids at the moment due to concerns about his ability to look after the kids. Police investigating ex assaulting me since our split.
I gave 6 weeks notice of a UK holiday. Now 5 weeks later, 1 week before we go, ex tells me he does not give permission for the children to go unless he has the address and who is going on the trip. I could have guessed this would happen as control was an issue throughout.
Now I am happy to tell him the county as a location, and make sure he understands that the kids will videocall at the same time and day as normal as one videocall falls while we are away. I don't want to tell him anything else as I'm really looking forward to not having to look over my shoulder while away.

Is that reasonable or do I need to tell him all details?

He's done this because I stopped a videocall yesterday that was nearly an hour long where he was watching the kids play but they weren't engaging with him. It was past their bedtime and rather than relaxing they were running around getting hyped up.

No, unless there is a court order giving him the right to know this information or to prevent a holiday taking place he does not have the right. Ignore him, enjoy your holiday!

You don't have to tell him anything for a UK holiday particularly if its not eating into his time with them. You don't need permission for it at all.

Once you've been to court and got the paperwork sorted you as a resident parent you can take them out of the country for up to 28 days without his permission too. Even if he kicks up a fuss as long as you have the documents to show you intend to return IE return flights then that's fine too.

He's being an idiot. He long are the video calls supposed to be? An hour for small children seems like a lot.

pretty sure you don’t need permission for a uk holiday

What could he do to stop you going? You do not need passports and what you do in your time is nothing to do with him. His permission is not needed.

Do you currently live in England and Wales? Is your proposed trip within England and Wales? If yes to both questions then you do not need to share details of your holiday and you do not need his consent to take the children on your holiday. You should abide by any court ordered indirect contact whilst you are away.

if you intend to remove the children from England and Wales (and don’t already have a ‘lives with’ order) you will need his consent. If you have a ‘lives with’ order you can remove the children from England in Wales without his consent for up to 28 days.

If you are not in England and Wales you will need advice from a local solicitor.

Hope that helps. Enjoy your break.

Just look up a hotel in a place you aren’t going to and give him those details.

Tell him that's ok, you weren't asking his permission.

Stop making your kids do hour long video calls performing for him.

Good luck in court.

yes either lie or completely ignore him. His permission is not required.

I agree with this!

I don’t usually condone that someone lies but in this case I would if necessary.

Pick a random hotel/caravan site/cave from about 100 miles away and tell him that. You're not leaving the UK, he can't make any demands.

Thank you, we live in England and the holiday is in England. No court order yet. No court directed instructions at all yet.

100% will now will cutting the phone calls down. I've realised he just pushes every boundary and I'm allowing it. Normally the kids say they've had enough after a chat and they say goodbye and hang up. But the kids have withdrawn from him and I have guilt it is because I stopped supervising visits since the assault. Last night they didn't engage at all so I just propped the phone up and we carried on as normal. It won't be happening again. Give an inch and they take a mile is such a true saying.

You can’t take children out of jurisdiction without approval from him if he has parental responsibility (certain exceptions apply). There are three legal jurisdictions in the U.K., England & Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland. You have to follow the law of the jurisdiction in which you live.

I never even thought about lying! I'm so busy trying to put new boundaries as coparents in place and then dealing with the aftermath(him throwing his toys out of the pram).

He does have parental responsibility, so he tells me I must tell him.

Thank you, I think I might do this. I need to make it clear that I won't be giving him all of this info moving forward.

100% about the hour long phone call. I'm an idiot. Won't be happening again.

The average 5 year old has an attention span of 15 minutes, there is no need for the video calls to be any longer than that for your children (and that's being very generous to him).

Hopefully court directed instructions will give you all the support you need. Good luck next week and have a wonderful holiday!

Don't do this! He will check that you are there.

I think the 'who' is going is relevant. Just state 'I am not required to give you those details. Your videocassette will go ahead as planned.' Leave it as that

Definitely don't allow his video calls to be just the kids displaying normal life. He doesn't have the right to a view into your home.
Don't tell him where you are going if its in the same country you do not require his permission.

Thank you, this is really useful!!!!!!!! @AquaFurball

@Motomum23 thank you for this, you're right. I'm new to this so actually having someone spelling this stuff out is really useful.

I don’t see how he could check you are anywhere without actually turning up. In which case if he turns up several 100 miles from where you are that would be ideal!

if he rang a holiday place and said who he is surely they wouldn’t confirm or deny your booking- GDPR and all that.

Don't lie, OP. It could backfire - I didnknow it at the time but I once took my kids to my parents and the ex foĺlowed - saw it in his bank statements when divorcing. He had literally followed me around for a week - shopping in the same shopping centres, eating at a local restaurant, petrol bought at the station nearest my parents, huge bill at an excellent hotel. Absokute piss take. I used it against him when seeking residence, believe me! Did him no good. You are not obliged to give the details, so don't. Put your boundaries in and hold them.

Be a bit careful if you are based in England and Wales and the holiday is within E&W you will be fine, he doesn't need to know where you are but if you are driving do not allow him or anyone else access to the vehicle in case they put a tracker on it. Also that your payment method is not linked to any shared account or previously shared account he may have any sort of access to.

If you are going from E&W to Scotland you could have problems as they are technically another jurisdiction and you would be taking them out of the jurisdiction. Although if no one knows...

Like I say just be wary of anything that can be tracked like phone location, trackers, airtag in kids belongings etc.

Oh and watching them play ...weird and controlling. Be clear in court what a call means and that children will not be forceably sat on them and held to them etc. Daily calls are not necessary either, although you could get him to do a story time or something - more of a wind down thing.

@RB68 yesterday he eventually said about doing a story, but they wanted to see the pictures and not him, he said they had to see him. He also chose the longest book and not the most exciting story so they just weren't in to it.

He wanted daily calls and I've used my solicitor to get it to two a week.

Thanks you!

Scan your car for trackers and check location sharing is off on your phone

Tell him no your not going overseas you don't need to give him that information

@notbelieved that is so strange and scary for you! Put useful that you had evidence!

Definitely need to put the boundary in place. Agree with you! Thank you for sharing.