DD’s friend ruined her shoes!

[softlykillingme]

So DD has just passed her driving test and her friend asked her to pick her up and could she please bring a spare pair of shoes. DD has just bought some new trainers and lent her those - she’d never even worn them.

Friend has since then kept “forgetting” to return them. And on one occasion whilst they were our friend turned up in the trainers.

Shes now given them back and they are ditched - there was not one attempt to clean them, the backs are squashed, covered in dirt.

I’ve told DD to drop her as a friend because I said that’s beyond disrespectful but unfortunately she feels like she doesn’t have many friends and would be very lonely without her.

If I were in your daughter's shoes situation , I'd tell friend that the trainers were brand new, never been on my feet, when they were lent to her, and now they're wrecked, so she needs to replace them!

One lesson has been learnt, and another will be learnt in due course:

1. Don't lend people things if they're likely to trash them.
2. The friend will learn that she treated your DD's items like trash.

This is a key time to learn.

I don't understand any of this. Why did the friend want to borrow shoes? Does she not have any of her own? What did she turn up in, bare feet? And since when does anyone borrow or lend shoes?

Pop them in the washing machine on a light wash

Why did your daughter lend her friend brand new trainers that she had never even worn. This is an important lesson for your daughter.

given that the friend has returned then in this state without offering money for new owns she clearly doesn’t care and is unlikely to do anything.

This is not a friend . I hope your daughter comes to see that in her own time. So sad that she has been used in this way .

She'll meet any more people like this friend and worse.
Teach her to deal with such situations as you/her can't control how other people behave.

I’d say take this one on the chin but it’s a red flag in case anything else happens after this …. tell your DD that friends don’t do this kind of stuff and she needs to be wary. It’s so hard when the friendship groups split and they’re lonely. I’ve been there with my DD and it’s tough. I feel bad for your DD