tto think it should be illegal to travel abroad for anonymous egg/sperm donation?

[ZoeCM]

If the government can ban people from travelling outside the UK for FGM, why can't they ban this? It's absolutely appalling that clinics will destroy all records of a child's biological parent in this day and age. Yes, the child can potentially trace their parents through companies such as AncestryDNA, but there's no guarantee they'll be successful. It's a massive abuse of power.

Anonymous donation is all about what's best for the recipients and the donor, never the child. AIBU to think it should be illegal to travel abroad for this purpose?

Also bear in mind that those who personally benefitted from anonymous donors (or other interventions like surrogacy) tend to be very vocal and some prep their children from birth for advocacy of the practice.

@MimiGC but surely better all donor conceived people have the choice of knowledge of their donor. They can then choose to use that knowledge or not. To never have that right to that knowledge is not fair.

Indeed, you only have to listen to adoptees aged 8/10/12 who have been groomed to say they are happy being adopted to see this goes on in that community too.

I think all parents 'prep their children from birth' to accept some things and challenge others , don't we? It's called passing on our values.

Disappointed in the poll results here. Children have rights to know who their parents are. Sometimes this doesn't happen but it should be recognised as the evil that it is.

Is separating a child from their genetic heritage, because it is cheaper and more convenient, a value?

Is teaching children that genetics matter above all else a value?

@adviceneeded1990 its not that genetics matter above all else but that they have the right to know their genetics.

‘Evil’?! Wow. That’s strong terminology. Do you have a religious perspective on this?

@Jjiillkkf I can assure you that I am my child's parent. I grew, birthed and fed him. He is from a very kind lady who donated her eggs to me, but I am his parent. I'm not commenting or checking this post anymore as there is a lot of nasty comments on here and I'm sure many people commenting have never known or experienced the agony of infertility.

If people want a genuine debate, then using hyperbole and accusations of evil and abusive practices, is really not the way to go about it.

I'm sure many people commenting have never known or experienced the agony of infertility.
Why would you think that we hadn't?
I'm an adopter. I know if you give birth to a child from donor gametes you can pretend they have no other heritage than yours but we don't have that luxury (though I have seen some adopters try to pretend this).
How many times do you need to be told - it's not about you, your pain, your long journey to be parents, your spurious "right" to be a parent.
It's about your child.
Why do my children have a right to know about their biological heritage but yours don't?

This

It leaves a massive hole in your life if you never knew your parents and something of your culture, background etc.

People aren't thinking of the children though, it's just a case of having their needs fulfilled.

I can immediately tell you have not lived with the devastation of infertility and have very little clue as to what you're talking about. In answer to your question, yes you are being utterly unreasonable.

I wouldn’t put it quite like that, more that a potential child’s right to know their own heritage is more important than their potential parent’s money-saving and convenience.

However, I don’t think parents who do not use anonymous donors are prepping the child to advocate for that value. The values most parent’s pass on are things like work ethics, moral conduct, self-knowledge, health, wealth, love, which would include the importance of family, etc. Very few parents are sending their children out into the world to be ambassadors for their own questionable choices.

Still more important that the child’s rights come first rather than a person’s right to become a parent by whatever means. That is what has been learnt now about adoption and that ethical thinking should follow through with other things like donor conception.

Not necessarily, if you have lived experience and it leaves a hole for you, fine. But I don’t feel a hole not knowing my genetic father’s name etc. So I don’t think it’s accurate to state categorically that it does

A donor is not the child’s parent.
There are ways to ensure that heritage is known without providing identifying information. Medical history, family history, occupation, hobbies, why that person chose to donate etc etc is all information that could be provided without actual personal details of the donor being disclosed.
I imagine being told that a donor just isn't interested in being in contact with you is the most harmful.

My concern about anonymous donation (and destruction of information about bio parents) is what screening has been done about genetic conditions etc.

Why? The DNA of a genetic parent doesn’t matter compared to your own DNA. My grandmother and mum both had the BRCA genes but I didn’t inherit them.

The only DNA a child needs screened is their own DNA

Well that’s your choice. Personally I’d be deeply uncomfortable about making an active choice to birth a child knowing that their background had been purposely erased.

Some people do go down that route on purpose precisely because they want an anonymous donor.

If they don’t do it specifically for that reason they are still orchestrating the creation of a person who is cut off from their genetic history.

Protecting your feelings about what other people do that doesn’t affect you isn’t a good reason to pass laws.

All this palaver about the imagined rights non-existent children may or may not even want is only a smoke screen for some people’s personal (judgey) feelings about what other people do for fertility choices.

No one is ‘cut off from their genetic history’ in this day and age.
DNA tests are commercially available at a very reasonable cost.

I don’t think I’ve said anywhere to make it illegal.

i would want full bio history though ti be available as a minimum.