AIBU to be angry at DH over DS 8 on water slide?

[Fleetwoodmax]

On holiday with DH and DS 8. I had to come back from pool early as had to have a chat with someone re a job interview. DH supervising DS at pool on small water slide and water play area. They come home saying they had a brilliant time but DS hurt his head. Why? I asked. “Well, when I was coming out of the waterslide backwards, I fell and hit my head of bottom of pool” ( not deep! And a shortish slide) At this I was horrified. A) why was he going down a water slide on his back headfirst… ? Totally not allowed. Apparently I’m ‘boring’ for suggesting he should only go feet first and DH deserves a medal for all the supervision he’s done. FYI I am significantly bigger breadwinner and job interview important. AIBU?

Yes unfortunately this is usually what happens… DC hurt his head and he has learned not to do it again.

I understand. I am a SAHP and if I leave my son with someone I expect them to have good judgement on safety. Getting a head injury under water wouldn't be a huge success in my book.

I think the OP is annoyed because it is a judgement thing, and she would hope her DH had good judgement when caring for a child.

In fairness though, child care is super hard and sometimes stuff happens. Only the OP can really judge if this was a failure on her DH's part.

Currently the problem seems to be communication. If she is talking to us instead of her DH then that is a sign that they have communication issues.

I think some of you have forgotten what it’s like to be a kid. He didn’t I hit himself badly. It’s just bad luck that it was on husbands watch. My kids have injured themselves who’s on my watch. Doesn’t make me incompetent as a parent. Mind you, I’m only a mid-earner so probably not as good at parenting as OP.

It seems maybe you are looking for a reason to blame your husband for.

So being on holiday means she has to take on all the child care and dad gets a free pass?

Unless your dh actually put him on the slide upside down @Fleetwoodmax or told him it wasn't dangerous I think YABU. Kids do dumb stuff whether either/both parents are watching or not.

I am shocked at many of the replies. Hopefully your DS is fine but that’s pure luck…if he was badly injured or killed I assume the replies would be very different and it would all be from the same decision/scenario.

I also understand why you mentioned being the main earner, obviously if your DH is complaining about you not being there you are defending the importance of the call. Sometimes on holiday or when out you have to go off and deal with work issues, you need to keep your job. Ultimately though it isn’t really relevant because whatever the reason your DH has sole care he should be giving it 100%.

Yes. Unpaid labour. He is doing the same thing millions of women have done and sacrificed career progression for themselves to facilitate childcare and the wage of the other parent.

my DH is a stay at home parent, which facilitates my salary through his unpaid labour. It was a joint decision and I’d never throw it in his face that I earn all the money.

@LeroyJenkinssss does he complain when he has to parent

Wow! You're mighty pleased with yourself...

I wonder if he’s actually annoyed that he carries the majority of the childcare responsibilities at home and he was secretly hoping to share this a bit on holiday rather then continue to be the primary carer (while the OP takes calls).

So wouldn’t you expect your DH to understand if you had to take a work call on holiday, and for him to step up to look after the kids? Or would you expect him to complain about it, and neglect the kids to the point of injury?

(My DH is also a SAHP. He steps up. He’s very competent to parent our kids, and is supportive if I need to prioritise work.)

No idea why you’re getting piled on, that’s really unsafe and the ‘you’re boring’ comment is the cherry on top of a shite cake.

Regardless of whether the division of labour in the OP's family is fair, the parent in charge has to actually parent. Negligent parenting is not an acceptable form of protest.

Back in the early 2000’s I was about 8 on holiday in Turkey. It was one of those complex hotels with a water park and the lifeguard was a nutcase.

He would encourage all the kids to climb up the slides, go down backwards, go down on the sun-lounger toppers and lilos. We loved it. Our parents not so much -a few bumps but we were all fine.

good god - you sound like fun.

YANBU when I meet my DH in the late ‘80’s he knew nothing at all about periods, which amazed me considering he had 4 older sisters.

Yeah I agree with this actually and it's not just what Dads do etc. Doesn't matter the parent's gender, they should parent.

However I agree with pp that your breadwinner comment was unnecessary and irrelevant. I say that also as significantly bigger breadwinner (and would never say what you did as though it was relevant to how grateful my partner should be or how much better he should risk assess - utterly irrelevant).

"my ds" sounds like you treat your husband as childcare rather than a husband or father.

whats the actual circumstance of the slide. did he push the kid down head first, did he tell him to go head first? was dad at the top of the slide at all, or the bottom in the pool and therefore had no control of how the kid came down?

Did he actually let him or is this something DS just did? I’d imagine he didn’t go ‘hey dad, can I go down head first?’ He just probably went and did it, he’s 8, not 2 so DH was hardly helicoptering him. If he did let him do then he’s stupid though.

I presume DS has learned his lesson now and won’t do that again?

Kids do daft daring stuff and incur minor injuries.

Now he knows why not to.

Have voted YABU because your salary has sod all to do with this.

And the prize for twattiest response goes to...

Fwiw, OP, your husband is being a dick, and he is lucky your child didn't sustain a serious injury. You are all lucky.

Where I live, there are lifeguards who would stop a child going down a slide backwards, and the slides are all situated in proper diving pools with deep water.

You sound quite unpleasant OP!
Parents occasionally make errors in judgement and your kid has a minor injury. Both dad and kid might learn from that consequence and not do it again. Yapping about how you’re the breadwinner just makes you look like a tit - I have no idea why pp are so keen to defend you. If the scenario was flipped and your husband came here yapping about how you’d made a minor parenting error as the main carer while he was out ‘bread winning’ on holiday I am pretty sure he’d have his arse handed to him.

Hope your husband has his ducks in a row…..

Op probably mentioned the breadwinner comment as she went off to take a call & was anticipating all the ‘parent your child then’ comments that usually surface on here.

Op, you DH didn’t make the best decision but no harm done this time & hopefully he knows for the future. Kids though will always do stuff like this.