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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Admitting to killing his sister and getting away with it

444 replies

SouthernFashionista · 23/07/2024 22:29

I could weep after reading this. But mostly I’m just angry. How in gods name has this happened? I know some don’t like DM links but the facts are that a man punched his sister in the head, killing her, and admitted doing so yet will face no charges. Sickening.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13664507/Girl-11-died-punched-heat-moment-half-brother-not-face-charges.html

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
BrigadierEtienneGerard · 24/07/2024 10:02

I am sorry, but I am not going to form an opinion on this based on a single press report and that in the Daily Mail to boot.

There is, I suspect, considerably more to this than has been printed.

zingally · 24/07/2024 10:05

A cowardly, despicable family.

An awful violent man, who attacked a child! I hope his girlfriend (seemingly the only one with any sense) has dumped him.

And her father did nothing to get her justice... Just awful.

They seem religious, so hopefully their god will judge them.

TemuSpecialBuy · 24/07/2024 10:08

diktat · 24/07/2024 08:11

Please don’t turn this into an opportunity to be racist to Muslims. This is about another little girl let down by her family and the justice system.

Did you say another child that doesn’t matter to Christians when Star Hobson, Arthur Labinjo Hughes, Victoria Climbié and many other kids were killed?

Culture which is the word i used definitely played a factor in victoria climbies death.

Star and Arthur's parents were no Christians- I'd be fascinated to know the last time they saw the inside of a church.

My SIL are her family are muslims and my DB converted. My inlaws will very openly discuss the fact with way many muslim men view women is highly problematic and her parents will openly said its the reason only 1 of their 5 daughters ever chose to marry (the parents are progressive and absurdly wealthy) .

Chickenuggetsticks · 24/07/2024 10:12

TheScenicWay · 24/07/2024 09:46

@Chickenuggetsticks fair enough. That's your experience and you've a right to your opinions but I've seen something a lot different. I have friends and family in the Muslim community and they think the grooming gangs are despicable and have no place in society. No way would they ever think it was the child's fault.
But then I guess Muslim communities are as diverse as other communities.

I've also been harassed and even while in school uniform as a teenager from idiots from all backgrounds. Sometimes pretty aggressively but I never reported it, assuming no one would take it seriously.

I think there's just a lack of justice when it comes to young victims, especially in terms of grooming and sexual abuse. Saville got away with it pretty openly. Lots of people reported him and nothing got done. Epsteins client list? Prince Andrew? Who knows who else.
I just can't believe that fear of racism is an excuse. I bet their not worried about racism when they arrest Asians for other reasons.
It's just odd.

Yes I have friends who are muslim too, I had one friend who was regularly beaten up by her brother, I had friends who got beaten by their dads as discipline (one was a public slapping btw). I knew girls who went to school and straight home while their brothers ran the streets. I care about women, I’m not in the business of excusing shitty male behaviours just incase it gives racist air. It’s the massive blindspot people have, we can’t talk about it because we don’t want to give racists oxygen. We sacrifice women and children for that.

I also know some lovely kind muslim men who love their wives and daughters and have high expectations of their son’s behaviour. I know plenty of intelligent and able muslim women who have a very strong moral compass, I’ve adored many muslim women I’ve met and become friends with who

It doesn’t change the fact there are problems when a community is highly patriarchal and family honour rests on the shoulders of women.

diktat · 24/07/2024 10:12

Gymrabbit · 24/07/2024 10:01

*diktat *

the difference is that in those tragic cases you mentioned there were one or two evil perpetrators.
however, there was no other family members covering it up, lying to police and refusing to let anybody be questioned.

this is yet another case of an Asian family whose son take precedence over their daughter.
you are right that it’s not always Muslims but it is most often south asians.

Do you seriously think that in white families abuse isn't covered up?

You are either utterly naive or utterly disungenuous.

White people are statistically overlwhelmingly the abusers in the UK, so let's just say it's cultural to white people.

it’s not always Muslims but it is most often south asians.

No, statistically it's white people.

diktat · 24/07/2024 10:16

TemuSpecialBuy · 24/07/2024 10:08

Culture which is the word i used definitely played a factor in victoria climbies death.

Star and Arthur's parents were no Christians- I'd be fascinated to know the last time they saw the inside of a church.

My SIL are her family are muslims and my DB converted. My inlaws will very openly discuss the fact with way many muslim men view women is highly problematic and her parents will openly said its the reason only 1 of their 5 daughters ever chose to marry (the parents are progressive and absurdly wealthy) .

Star and Arthur's parents were no Christians

So by the same principal, people who abuse children are not Muslims.

You can't have one rule for Muslims and another for non-Muslims.

Chickenuggetsticks · 24/07/2024 10:17

I also agree we have as a society turned a blind eye to abuse of women and children by plenty of white men too and others in minority groups (orthodox jewish women and girls comes to mind). It breaks my fucking heart tbh. As I get older I increasingly loathe men and their handmaidens. The destruction males wreak on females is so clear yet so easily dismissed.

Summerose · 24/07/2024 10:19

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 23/07/2024 22:42

I don't understand this. He's confessed in his own text, and English law is that if you assault someone you 'take your victim as you find them' which means any medical condition etc that they may have is no defence. It's called the eggshell skull rule.

So the poor girl possibly having an 'underlying medical condition' is completely bloody irrelevant, it makes no sense for the CPS to say that's why they're not proceeding.

I read a book about how prosecutions for causes of death are successful in court. It said if someone dies at the hands of another within the following (I think) 24 hours, then cause of death is easy to prove. However, if they linger on, the chances of a successful prosecution slip away.

And God forbid if the Post mortem reveals underlying diseases that the person could have lived with without knowing about.

It's very sad, but we should all hope that if we had the misfortune of being murdered we should die within 24hrs to make it easier for our deaths to be prosecuted.

nothingcomestonothing · 24/07/2024 10:20

BrigadierEtienneGerard · 24/07/2024 10:02

I am sorry, but I am not going to form an opinion on this based on a single press report and that in the Daily Mail to boot.

There is, I suspect, considerably more to this than has been printed.

If you're going to wait until the Guardian or the BBC gives a shit about women, it may be a while.

This isn't a Daily Mail opinion piece, a little girl died and her adult brother admitted in writing to hitting her. Those are facts no matter which source reports them.

TemuSpecialBuy · 24/07/2024 10:21

diktat · 24/07/2024 10:16

Star and Arthur's parents were no Christians

So by the same principal, people who abuse children are not Muslims.

You can't have one rule for Muslims and another for non-Muslims.

What does this even mean??? 😵‍💫

Yes "White people" are shit heads and child abusers too but why are we supposed to sit here and pretend that there is NOT a problematic attitude towards women within the muslim culture (just like extreme Christian churches mostly found in the US, ultra orthodox jews etc) and that this is NOT a factor in this girls death when it really is.

YouJustDoYou · 24/07/2024 10:23

diktat · 24/07/2024 10:12

Do you seriously think that in white families abuse isn't covered up?

You are either utterly naive or utterly disungenuous.

White people are statistically overlwhelmingly the abusers in the UK, so let's just say it's cultural to white people.

it’s not always Muslims but it is most often south asians.

No, statistically it's white people.

Edited

Actually, it's not. The NCBI found:

The three regions with lowest lifetime intimate partner violence prevalence estimates were central Europe (16%; UI 12–21%), central Asia (18%; 13–24%), and western Europe (20%; 15–26%), although even these rates are still high.
As with the lifetime prevalence of intimate partner violence, the highest prevalence of past year physical or sexual, or both, intimate partner violence among ever-partnered women aged 15–49 years was in the regions of central sub-Saharan Africa (32%; UI 22–43%) and Oceania (29%; 19–40%), followed by eastern sub-Saharan Africa (24%; 19–29%) and south Asia (19%; 12–27%; table 4).
Overall, mostly high-income countries including Australasia (3%; UI 2–5%), western Europe (4%; 3–6%), central Europe (5%; 3–6%), southern Latin America (5%; 3–8%), and North America (6%; 4–9%) had the lowest estimated prevalence rates of past year physical or sexual, or both, intimate partner violence among women aged 15–49 years"

Global, regional, and national prevalence estimates of physical or sexual, or both, intimate partner violence against women in 2018

Intimate partner violence against women is a global public health problem with many short-term and long-term effects on the physical and mental health of women and their children. The Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) call for its elimination in tar...

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8885817/table/tbl4/

diktat · 24/07/2024 10:28

TemuSpecialBuy · 24/07/2024 10:21

What does this even mean??? 😵‍💫

Yes "White people" are shit heads and child abusers too but why are we supposed to sit here and pretend that there is NOT a problematic attitude towards women within the muslim culture (just like extreme Christian churches mostly found in the US, ultra orthodox jews etc) and that this is NOT a factor in this girls death when it really is.

Edited

Because it's extremely facile to say the child abuse due to the family being Muslim when there is no evidence of it.

You are coming to it from a place of deep prejudice.

TemuSpecialBuy · 24/07/2024 10:30

@diktat

I didnt say it happened "because they are muslim" that's patently ridiculous.

But honestly Do you really think muslim culture is not at all problematic and is good for women???

Also in case you missed it My BROTHER and SIL ARE MUSLIM!!!
So are all her family who i socialise with....
So i cant be that much of a racist arsehole 🤷🏻‍♀️

ChishiyaBat · 24/07/2024 10:31

Imagine being an 11 year old girl who takes her young siblings into the bathroom to hide, then getting the door rammed in by a grown man, imagine the fear those 3 children experienced at that moment, then those younger children witnessing their sister being punched and collapsing. I can't imagine how scared those poor children must have been. It's just heartbreaking that no one was protecting them in their own house. He admitted to punching and killing her. That poor little girl then suffered for 3 weeks before she died, it's horrific.

DoreenonTill8 · 24/07/2024 10:32

mm81736 · 24/07/2024 09:33

They can say no if they think it will traumatise the little children.a confession is not enough, especially from someone sent at a time they were probably in shock.
Furthermore it sounds as if there is doubt as to the cause of death.why was the girl screaming? Maybe she was suffering a brain haemorrhage for example?

What a violence apologists post. Seriously?!

Projectme · 24/07/2024 10:32

Birdseyetrifle · 23/07/2024 22:39

Sadly it doesn’t surprise me that they are protecting the male in this situation rather than getting justice.

It really is truly sickening. Being male certainly trumps being female in this household.

TemuSpecialBuy · 24/07/2024 10:32

ChishiyaBat · 24/07/2024 10:31

Imagine being an 11 year old girl who takes her young siblings into the bathroom to hide, then getting the door rammed in by a grown man, imagine the fear those 3 children experienced at that moment, then those younger children witnessing their sister being punched and collapsing. I can't imagine how scared those poor children must have been. It's just heartbreaking that no one was protecting them in their own house. He admitted to punching and killing her. That poor little girl then suffered for 3 weeks before she died, it's horrific.

Agreed.
Its horrific stuff.
Especially as their parents and grandmother are protexting their abuser

DoreenonTill8 · 24/07/2024 10:35

@TemuSpecialBuy no no, why are you not centering on the poor killer? As @mm81736 put he may be 'in shock'...

ChishiyaBat · 24/07/2024 10:36

TemuSpecialBuy · 24/07/2024 10:32

Agreed.
Its horrific stuff.
Especially as their parents and grandmother are protexting their abuser

Exactly why were they not protecting those 3 little children! I guess because they were/are scared of him, but to me that is not an excuse. I really hope he rots in jail for what he did!

diktat · 24/07/2024 10:41

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Anotherparkingthread · 24/07/2024 10:42

This is absolutely heartbreaking breaking. He punched an 11 year old little girl to death and admitted it in text messages! Why on earth are they not pushing for justice for that poor girl. She had her whole life ahead of her and he will suffer no repercussions for this? It's sick. Somebody needs to start a petition or something this is awful.

TemuSpecialBuy · 24/07/2024 10:44

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Do you really think muslim culture is not at all problematic and is good for women???

diktat · 24/07/2024 10:45

TemuSpecialBuy · 24/07/2024 10:44

Do you really think muslim culture is not at all problematic and is good for women???

Do you really think white culture is not all problematic and is good for white women?

Papergirl1968 · 24/07/2024 10:52

From what I've read the decision not to prosecute is wrong.
For those saying they don't believe a word in the Mail, the report was of the inquest, not speculation, journalists' opinion or background research.
The inquest continues so it will be interesting to hear the rest of it, but yes, terribly sad for the young girl.

OneTC · 24/07/2024 10:55

I think I'm in a bit of a quandary regarding the police and CPS and their position as both simultaneously systemically racist and also so unwilling to appear racist that they don't prosecute crimes against people that they are systemically racist towards.

It's kind of like they just don't really give a fuck about anyone