To Re-register DS Birth certificate

[Kira893]

Hi MN

When I was pregnant, me and father had just really met and he wasn’t around to support me. When baby was born, he started to step up. He came with me to the registry office and begged me to give baby his last name as everyone does that in his family married or not. There was an argument and the registry office lady advised me to keep him off the birth certificate and give baby my name until he can prove himself, then I can change it at anytime .

He asked me if he proves himself, would I consider changing it and I agreed. So for the last 3 years he’s been great with DD. Can’t fault him. DD turning very soon, He’s now brought it up again and wants his name on the birth certificate and DD to have last name. I think I’m ok with it but I feel a bit silly calling up the nursery etc asking them to change her name. Would they think it odd? I don’t really care much for my last name, I’ve no contact with any of my dad’s side of my family. I don’t really think last names matter much.

Would anyone else change it?

I don't think you can change a birth certificate. Perhaps contact the register office and ask them about it.

I wouldn't. Why should you have a different name to your DD? At the very most I'd agree to double-barrel

No. He can change his name by deed poll to yours

Don't be daft. You stepped up from day one so by your logic the name stays as yours.

I would add his name because that's your child's right.

Not on birth certificate is no parental responsibility. He can apply to court for PR but most likely won’t if he hasn’t so far.
Do look up implications of him having PR - he can make decisions re school etc.

You can add him on as a father but i wouldn't change your childs surname. Be aware if you add him on he has equal parental rights to you,

Maybe add him to the birth certificate but I wouldn't be changing her name.

Don't change her name, it's her name!

The issue of him being added to the birth certificate is FAR more significant than the name, so focus on that primarily.

Doing so would give him parental responsibility. Make sure you understand what that means.

But then if you're happy, and he is an active and involved father then you can fill in the necessary form the get him added.

Fyi - if it ever ended up in court, the court would likely take the view that your child is entitled to have both parents on the birth certificate.

Me too.

I would want to have the same name as my child whether I liked the actual name or not. That has nothing to do with it.

You have 'stepped up' just as much as him.

You can't legally change a birth certificate if the child is more than 12 months old.
You can change the child's name by other means (although it may not be a good idea), but the birth certificate is now fixed.

I wouldn’t change her name.

I gave DD her dads last name presuming we’d get married one day and all have the same last name.
He cheated on me, I left….and now (24 years later) I’ve never had the same last name as my DD. I’ve done everything for her. He’s done nothing. Biggest regret of my life!

Is he offering to marry you? If not then why does he have more rights over her name then you?

But you probably should make a will appoinying him legal guardian in the event the worst happens to you.

I think it was very wrong of the registrar to tell you not too put his name on the birth certificate, it's about the child's right to know their father, the lsst name is a totally different issue

Add him to the certificate if you want him to have parental rights, don’t fucking change her name from yours though! You’ll always be primary carer and she’ll have an easier life having the same name as you.

Is he on there as her father and your surname or not on at all?

If the latter I think I would add him but I wouldn't change her surname if you're not married.

The child can know who their father is without this.
If it looks like a dad is going to be absent it's terribly unwise to give away rights and have to run every decision by him for the next 18 years, from schools to holidays abroad

The mother doesn't own the child and child has as much right to have both parents legally recognised as such why shouldn't he be on birth certificate,

So does the seemingly present and involved Dad. And he seems to want this more than the OP does.

I was just thinking the opposite.

I think a lot of women do not know that they can leave a man off the BC and it is a good thing that people are informed of this. And that they can add him later but they can't remove him.

Presumably he wasn't there anyway so he could not go on it regardless.

But if he goes to court he would likely be added anyway.

But if he goes to court he would likely be added anyway.

Yes but I still think that it's a good thing that at the registrar appointment women are told all of the information.

You don’t need to change her name but add him to the birth certificate. You should have some that on the first place. He is your daughters father and your daughter deserves to have her official record (birth certificate) being accurate.

You'd feel silly telling nursery... because it's a silly decision. No I absolutely wouldn't change my DD's name. If he was so concerned with tradition he wouldn't have had a baby outside marriage in the first place ffs.

MY DD just changed my 8 year old GDs name….it cost just under 50 quid to do….she then got a new certificate…..she now has a passport with the new name ….it was very simple to do