To ask if you have a favourite child?

[CobaltQueen]

I do wonder whether anyone will answer this honestly.
As the scapegoat and the least favoured by my mother, I am interested to read the responses.

lots of people would say their parents had a favourite child but I would suggest that more often than not they are wrong- they have just interpreted their parents behaviour that way.

kids to get treated differently according to age, birth order, life circumstances, personality the list is endless.

you say your parents treated your siblings like the ‘victim’ but you have taken that role on yourself with thinking your a scapegoated child.

my brother has always done this- accused me of being favourited by my parents and frankly it’s boring and an excuse to not face up to his actions. Yes I got told off less as a kid, but that’s because I followed the rules more. Yes my parents talk about my achievements publicly, they are very proud and I’ve achieved a lot, my brother however has had some quite public issues and therefore my parents tend to not talk about his more recent achievements in the family because they don’t want to draw conversation on his past.

if your parents DID have a favourite, I would say this is incredibly rare but you do yourself no favours by dwelling on it.

My two (8 & 11) often insist I name my favourite. I tell DS he is my favourite son and DD that she is my favourite daughter.

No I have 3 and love them all equally, some days I sometimes like one of them more than the others if they are being 'kids' haha but I adore them all equally and I would never treat them differently xx

Yes and I tell them regularly! My favourite is the last one to make me a cup of tea.

I don't have favourites but I worry that I think I do. The reality is that the behaviours we get from the three vary, but one (the youngest) is consistently easier to deal with than the other two. He gets a better reaction from others as a result because he isn't causing as much stress. He still gets told off when he's shrieking like a banshee mind. This may change as they get older, or it might be that they have different needs at different ages, so perceive different treatments.

Absolutely. My scrumptious five month old niece is currently by far the whole family’s favourite child. And will remain so while her head smells of biscuits and until she gets a personality.

As for my three teens, they are as delightful and infuriating as each other. I have a favourite child most days, but it’s rarely the same one two days in a row!

@TheFairyCaravan I can completely relate to that.
And no, I am not putting myself in the victim role at all. It's just how it is in my family. Even 2 of my school friends picked up on it. Please don't diminish my personal lived experiences @CultOfRamen

I think this sums it up

You have different relationships due to different experiences but not sure it makes favourites...

I have a favourite

love them all in different ways but this one has always had a closer relationship with me that I love and shares more of the day to day and detail of life

mine are now young wants so have developed their personalities etc - differnt when they are young kids

I was the favourite child.
My twin 2 is definitely my ex-husband's favourite.
I favour neither. Twin 1 is easier to get along with, but both have filled my existence with a love I never thought possible.

Yes, the least irritating one when anyone asks me.

Like @CobaltQueen said, please don't diminish our experiences.

One of my brothers was arrested multiple times for shoplifting, has lost a couple of jobs for the same. Can't get a DBS check due to 'accusations'. My other brother was practically an alcoholic by 18.
I've hardly ever drunk, never done drugs. Never even got a detention at school, let alone broke the law. Yet my mum tells everyone how awful I was.

One of those brothers raped me. More than once. When I told my mum, she kicked me out.

She definitely has favourites.

Yes absolutely ... but I only have one child!

Nope, they all annoy me equally.

In all seriousness, I love them all the same, but sometimes I like one of them more than the others - who that is changes.

I can relate to this.

My parents did and it wasn't me. I resolutely decided not to be like that. Don't get me wrong some days I like one more than the other but there is no favouritism.

I tell them both the dog is my favourite….. at least he (mainly) listens to me!

Absolutely not. I have 1 of each and I love them both. They're different personalities and I love them both for different reasons but I love them equally.
I tell them they are my favourite son and my favourite daughter

My parents do, this is one of the reasons I do not have children.
Destroyed me

Yes - the dog!

In all seriousness, one tends to be easier at any given time but it flip flops between them

I tell mine the dog is the only one of the three who doesn't answer back

i do, i have an favourite oldest child, and i have an favourite youngest child..

Erm does the dogs count?? Joking! I don't but I do have different relationships with each as they are such different people, but they are both my world

FGS obviously in the circumstance of being raped by a sibling you can’t apply your own experience to the entirety of the population.
I would suggest from what you have put that it’s less about favouritism and more about child abuse.

I haven't applied it to the whole population. Just asked you not to diminish others experience and given clear examples of favoritism.

Your response to which is to diminish my experience and tell me I'm wrong.
Of course it's also an example of abuse. That doesn't mean it isn't also a parent clearly having a favourite.