2 AIBU in one, table etiquette and in-laws..

[PardontheFrench]

This is a light humoured one (kind off)

In-laws down on holiday, it’s chaos round here as we are also moving this week, trying to pack and aware DH’s parents are also here to spend time with us and have a nice time, we are doing all the cooking entertaining etc.

Cooked a lovely meal around carnage last night, made sure everyone was sorted, DC, in-laws, dog was out of the way, drinks topped up sat down at the table to notice that in-laws had moved their cutlery round to their preferred position of knifes sitting with blades out, definitely not how I set the table!!

Firstly AIBU to think that everyone over the age of 12 knows the correct table setting etiquette is knifes with blades turned inwards

2nd AIBU that it’s fucking cheeky to be so self righteous that you make a show of your preferred way especially when you are bastarding wrong! in someone else house!

There have been many larger things over the years that have pissed me off but this tiny moment of exercising control has given me the rage like no other!

I would just probably burst out laughing and ask them if they think that's the normal way? I'd probably tease them in a light-hearted way about it, and then say, 'well, each to their own. Maybe it'll catch on?'
I honestly wouldn't care how someone places their cutlery though. I'd be too busy serving dinner. They must be really annoying in other ways I'm imagining?

I think the real question is why you are fannying around digging out a gravy boat for them if you are moving.

"Rage" for this. Honestly, get some perspective.

What an odd thing to be bothered about when there is so much going on.

Relax, stop looking for a reason to claim you are better than them....Seriously....

I'm still waiting to hear how the poster who doesn't use knives cuts their food, do they just pick it up with the fork and gnaw at it?

in your shoes i wouldn't have waited for them to realise the timing was inconvenient and change the trip. I would have told DH that it was inconvenient and if he didn't want to tell them (in clear language) that they weren't to come i would have. At the most i'd have told them to book to stay in a hotel or somewhere.

You know your ILs - so you will know if it's a PA dig at you. Ignore them. Next time just wrap the cutlery in a napkin and let them do what they want.

This is the sort of thing my parents would do because they are a bit set in their ways and it would be a funny anecdote to tell other people later on. I wouldn't be angry about it because I generally don't think that they're trying to make a point when they do these things and if they were it wouldn't be a point about something I feel strongly about.

Either you're totally unreasonable and need to get a grip or it's symptomatic of them being weirdly critical of you in general and so you're taking it as some sort of commentary on you as a person/family. Either way, is it worth spending your emotional energy on? It's not a criticism of how you're raising your children or your career choices or anything that actually matters, it's...cutlery.

that in-laws had moved their cutlery round to their preferred position of knifes

knifes?

Firstly AIBU to think that everyone over the age of 12 knows the correct table setting etiquette is knifes with blades turned inwards

YABU and ignorant if you really think that everyone knows this. Do you live in a bubble where you are unaware that there are people who don't own a table to set a sodding knife on, let alone worry about which way its facing.

I wonder if she is related to the poster who (of all the household chores in the world) is worried about fly poo?

Your solidly middle class and thought the etiquette for guests was to throw the knives into th4 middle of the table and don’t know the correct way to set one?

class is irrelevant, how do uou not know how to set a table. Have you never been served a meal where it was set. Never eaten out at a restaurant?

Peasants!

If they'd reset the whole table, then they would have been making a point.

I can't see the issue with them reorganising their own cutlery to the way that they prefer it.

I'm over the age of 12 and had no idea this was a thing.

I've (obviously) never noticed and if wouldn't bother me even if I did know it was a thing. What difference does it make to anything at all?

I'd send the plebs to McDonald's for their next meal and get on with your packing instead.

Gravy boats 😂all when you had the perfect excuse to just put the gravy on the table in the original saucepan.

For tonight/tomorrow set the inlaws to work packing up, then order pizza for dinner. No cutlery needed.

I have said YABU because who really cares which round the knives are (I had no idea there was a correct way) and they only turned their own cutlery round. If they feel more comfortable with the knives facing they way they always have them what does it matter? And I wouldn't have noticed that they had done it either.

You're moving this week and you're fretting about plates and knives and how they're placed? FFS

I didn’t know it was thing to be honest. I don’t notice these kinds of things (cutlery direction, plate placements etc). I’m a heathen.

Who the fucking messes around with a gravy boat when they're trying to pack for a house move? Come the fuck on.

You have a you problem.

It’s only an issue because you don’t like them. If you liked them you wouldn’t have a) noticed or b) noticed and not cared.

Sounds like it was an official banquet. I’ve never eaten with family (unless a restaurant) where table setting etiquette is a thing.

Oh god I couldn't care less about how anyone lays the table. Jesus Christ

You deserve a medal for having in-laws over on a week where you are moving.