DH is firmly in the camp that we travel together as a family, and if I’m desperate to go abroad to visit family we’ll use every penny of our savings to go. He understands how much I love my family, he does love them too, but it’s slightly unreasonable to be expected to spend every holiday, every year, visiting my family. He feels it’s fair that we go every other year, with alternate years holidaying elsewhere.
Don’t want to be too outing but my family are British but immigrated to the other side of the world. The place where they live does feel like home to me, I’ve spent considerable time over there and have my own friends etc there too. I do love it over there. My family used to visit over here often but not going into too much detail it’s difficult for them to visit due to their kids in school/costs for all them to fly/not many family members over here to visit/we don’t have a big enough house to host for a prolonged time etc.
It’s expensive for us all to visit them, it’s a long-haul flight away and it’s an expensive country. Before living with DH when I’d visit, as I’ve been many times, we wouldn’t bother doing much touristy things, just hanging out really. The same as what you’d do staying with family here: BBQs/cooking in/watching tele/visiting friends/enjoying the local area/running errands/taking the kids to their activities etc. Stuff that doesn’t really cost that much money apart from the odd day out, getting a coffee in town, getting the odd burger at the street food fest etc.
Obviously when I’ve gone with DH we’ve done the expensive tourist attractions/days out/treating it as a holiday. The last time we went we spent ££££s as spending money. On of the days we spent a ‘home’ DH got a taxi into a different local town as he was a bit bored, and that cost him just over a hundred quid.
I’ve gone on bit of a ramble but essentially I do want to go home. I want to watch tele with my family, share DD with them, and just do normal family things. I know they miss me/DD terribly and everyone in my life keeps mentioning it. I’d love DH to be there, but we’re a bit strapped for cash, and really cannot justify ££££s at the moment.
My family have offered to pay for me (which I/we could afford to just pay for my flight) but when I said about DH joining they said (rightly in my opinion) if we can afford for his flight, why can’t we just pay for me to come over (they’re not loaded by any stretch of the imagination).
The very simple solution is that I just go with DD1 (she’s free until she’s 2). But DH really isn’t a fan, and if anything it’s the first time he’s ever dug his heels in. I think it’s wound him up that everyone in my circle keeps expecting me/us to go over. He somewhat snapped the other day (for the first time ever) that if they were so desperate for us to visit this year they could pay for both of our flights, if not, we’ll hopefully visit next year.
The subject is becoming painfully awkward on all sides (and other family members/friends/acquaintances often mention it as chitchat too).
It would be the first time me and DH would have ever had a real disagreement/either of us has plainly vetoed the others feelings/opinions.