To not understand why my mum ( or anyone ) needs to sunbathe topless ?

[aghak]

I'm staying with mum and my two kids at a holiday cottage. It's private so no one can see, but I still don't get why she or anyone feels the need to sunbathe topless ? I would just never do it and it makes me a bit uncomfortable to be around people who sunbathe topless.

I get it I get it, not everyone is like me.

But why do your boobs need to be brown ?

She also insists on wearing a bikini at almost 70. Ok fine, I don't wear a bikini and I'm not even 40 yet. I do think, good for you but I do think one pieces are just more classy. Same with having everything on display.

I realise I sound mean spirited don't I ? Or just uptight ? But isn't more, less and more classy in general ? Interested in opinions !

She raised me so I'm surprised I am not more on display myself but I'm pretty private about my body and always have been.

You don't see how "I don’t want to be looking at some random woman sexually, but Jesus Christ, if there’s a shapely young woman walking on a beach with her full, luscious breasts completely uncovered…" is creepy?
All your missing is the Homer Simpson drooling gif.

If you feel 'shamed' by being called creepy, don't act so fucking creepy.

YABU, most men sunbathe topless all the time.

You’d better tell the majority of women on the continent that wearing a bikini isn’t classy in your eyes.

Your post made me laugh. You sound like such a prude. It’s really sad that you are embarrassed by seeing skin.

What do you do when changing after swimming Are you one of the people who draws more attention to yourself by clutching your towel around you to avoid being ‘seen’.

Exactly this.

Your mum's 70, so born 1954 and her twenties were in the 1970s. That was peak time for topless sunbathing, I did so myself in the early 1980s. It was considered completely normal then. no strap marks from a bikini so I could wear anything I pleased when out at night; strapless, halter, one shoulder - fashion was very varied back then compared to now. And as has been said by others, the sense of freedom on the beach was brilliant.

I'm inclined to think that many of our attitudes are set in our teens and twenties, so for your mum, topless sunbathing was the norm in her twenties and she still considers it completely normal.

I realise I sound mean spirited don't I ? Or just uptight ? But isn't more, less and more classy in general ? Interested in opinions !

pack it in and let your mum do what she wants. Whinging about her isn't classy of you.

Because her daughter and grandkids probably don’t want to see her baps?

What if they ogle your legs? Or your swimsuit covered bum? Or even your cleavage if you wear a bikini or swimsuit? What if they are a toe fetishist?

Vulva is also part of the body

I’d call them out either way if I saw it happening, but as I say I won’t be giving them an opportunity to look at my breasts for free.

I don’t think toes are sexualised in quite the same way as boobs but maybe toe implants are a thing!

@Allfur

Yes...and?

Vulva is a sexual organ. Men also cover their sexual organs. Men don't have to cover their top half though.

Nothing

I agree with you totally, there is a time and place, Nothing wrong with seeing a naked body and all, but grandkids do not need to see their grannys boobs. She can wear a bikini all she wants knock herself out, but no need to go topless.

If more mens torsos resembled the ones in Vikings of Valhalla then there would certainly be more ogling!

I don’t feel shamed. I just see that you’re trying to shame me. I don’t think anyone’s unbidden sexual attraction to another (adult, unrelated) person is creepy; it’s what they do about it that can be creepy, and what I’m doing is feeling awkward and looking away.

Breasts are sexually attractive to some people. Women can go topless in spite of that, women can go topless because of that, or they can wear tops. But there seems to be this belief among some people on Mumsnet that the attractiveness of breasts is some kind of weird fetish dreamed up by sexist, patriarchal men; that anyone who sees anything sexy about breasts is brainwashed; and that people’s attraction to breasts, being allegedly unnatural, can somehow be stamped out. Which, frankly, I think is delusional.

So women should go top less in public too? From what age? 5? 10? 15?

How much would you charge?

I wouldn’t be getting them out in the first place!

YABU.
Feeling the warm sun on your skin is one of life's free pleasures.

Good on your mum.

I agree with you op. I don’t get it either but I am quite a prude. I hate anything to do with nudism or naturism - it’s just ugly body parts unnecessarily being flaunted and dirty old men seem to be the main beneficiaries. Ugh. Grim.

I suspect breasts covered by a small triangle of fabric are almost as "appealing" as bare ones.

I’m trying to imagine seeing my Grandma’s boobs.

As she was known to us as Grandma Surname, it’s a hell of a stretch.

Your mum sounds a laugh, but I won’t be treating any future grandchildren I might have to an eyeful of my babs 😂

I think you're just a bit grossed out because it's your mum and she's got her semi-naked body out around you and your children. I can understand why the boundaries feel a bit off.

If I saw a random 70 year old woman sunbathing topless on the beach, I wouldn't think anything of it.

But I absolutely do not want to see my mum's 70 year old tits and I'm sure my kids don't want to either!

Hi OP, my husband is Scandinavian and over there many (most?) houses have a family sauna, where it's considered unhygienic to wear any swimwear.

It's basically the culture to have multiple generations of family, plus often friends, sit around naked and chat with each other while sweating profusely!

Just from my knowledge of his family (admittedly a limited dataset!) they have very positive attitudes to health and wellness, high body confidence, and are very relaxed about nudity - it's not very coupled to sex and is more part of normal daily life.

I personally think it's healthy for kids to see their parents and grandparents naked and what normal human bodies look like. Especially with the epidemic of exposure to porn and the surgically altered women's bodies that are 'normal' there.

I'm sorry that it makes you uncomfortable though.