Buying house with DP… not sure what to do.

[cocunut]

Hi MN. I’ve been with my DP for a few years now and we are looking for somewhere to buy. We live in London/south east so expensive!
The problem is we are at loggerheads over what we are looking for. 300k max budget. I really don’t want to buy a flat - service charges, leasehold, not having your own garden or front door. But his income is much greater than mine (I'm a new graduate looking for an entry level job, he has an established career albeit self-employed).
He wants a flat purely due to cost. I feel like I have no say in this although I will be contributing to bills and some of the mortgage (with my contribution in proportion to his wages) once I’ve got a job. We’re looking for next year anyway but I don’t see myself on more than 20-25k by then. We are not married yet.
Im just not sure what to do! Does he have the overarching say in this? I want a forever home, don’t want to buy a flat to have to sell it in a few years when we have kids and I really want a garden. I just feel like I don’t have a leg to stand on as his income is the highest!!

Can anyone offer sensible advice on what property might suit us?

Your budget isn’t enough for a forever home though in the area you are looking and buying a flat first is a fairly common move

yiu can have your own front door and garden we did with our 2 hex maisonette

Honestly if you actually are in London the budget will probably make the decision for you. Are there any houses available for London for 300k?

He’s being rational. Where in London/the South East can you buy a house for £300K?

Just outside of, yes. Areas we are looking in are Bromley/Croydon/Surrey fringe. Mostly 2 beds. If we stretch to 350 we can get a lot more but he’s having none of it!

YABU.

My worry with a flat first is; when we go to sell it; how will we know we are making any profit on it?? What if we buy a 300k flat and only get 300k when we sell it…

Joint income would be around 80k next year which is surely enough for a mortgage on 3-400k? We really do not have a clue but wanted to put some feelers out before speaking to a mortgage advisor so thought the wise MNers could offer some realistic advice; maybe my head does need a wobble!

I get this - but there are no houses in the areas you mention for that price.

Also, when you say forever home plus kids, is that just 1 kid? What if you have a boy and a girl?

Because if you find a 3 bedroom house with a garden for that price then please please DM me because you will have stuck gold!!!

You need to speak to a mortgage advisor before you view anywhere - what's the point of viewing 400k properties if you can afford a 300k one?

Crunch the numbers before you fall in love with somewhere but I tend to agree that even 350k for a two bed house with a private garden in London doesn't sound that achievable.

Kids aren’t in the pipeline for a good 5ish years but wanted something that would mean its not a total disaster if i did fall pregnant with my first. i have PCOS so want to start "trying" as early as possible. Hence why i want something with a bit of wiggle room!

You're head definitely needs a wobble. You don't start with your forever home, the flat is your first home.

He earns a lot more than you and doesn't want to be tied down and skint yet.

Your earnings are low, not on a par with his at the moment. So you're being unfair and cheeky.

Meaning that you’re not entirely sure what your forever home needs to be yet. So a 2 bed flat would be fine if you fell pregnant for now right?

What I don’t understand is: what’s the point in spending 300k on a flat now that we can’t live in forever and I don’t really want to live in, when we could wait another year or so and buy the house? how would i know that the hypothetical flat would even sell?

How much of a joint deposit have you saved?

I have PCOS there's plenty of treatment when the time comes.

Fgs just enjoy the now, your salary will be a quarter of his, don't start throwing cutting the grass every weekend, sleepless nights and babies at him at this stage in your relationship.

You sound like a teenager mooning about life in the 'burbs.

Should have about 30k by the end of next year.

That's not even ten percent of £400k. 🙄

5% deposits exist though?

Well most mortgages require 10% so that would be a £300k mortgage. I just think that unless you’re committed to only having 1 child, you can’t guarantee that a 2 bed house would be your forever home anyway.

And then you’d be asking the same ‘will it sell?’ questions - just with a house not a flat.

This whole situation is unreasonable.

OP, you seem woefully uninformed what buying and owning property entails. To add to the complexity, you're looking to buy together with someone you're not married to and to add a further layer - you're buying with very unequal contributions.
It's like attempting algebra before learning to count own fingers.

And yet, there's talk of forever homes, beginning a career and starting a family, all on a single breath.

OP - get a job, get married, buy a flat and have a baby. If you are both successful with your careers, you can always sell, increase the mortgage and upsize. If you have to do those things, try to do them right ( less chance that it will all backfire).

You’re probably right! I just for some reason really really don’t fancy a flat! I’ve never lived in one - he has. I hate the idea of communal hallways, neighbours everywhere, and the service charges would end up driving our bills up more!! But if that’s what we can afford I suppose that will be it 🥲 Either that or I convince him to move to the Scottish highlands with me… I don’t even like London just have to be here for work! 😂😂

"Mortgage Calculator UK: Repayment & interest only mortgages - MSE" https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/mortgages/mortgage-rate-calculator/

That's 2k a month on £400k home with 30k deposit.

Thank you this is helpful. I think I am getting ahead of myself!!

Flats don’t have to be leasehold. Some are share of freehold.