Is it rude to tell someone they look tired?

[Edasseri]

As a casual comment. For example, you meet up with someone, say hi etc and then you tell them they look really tired

Depends on the relationship, ranges from mildly concerned with no malice intended to extremely rude.

Why would you? If they're tired they know it and commenting on it seems pointless? Unless you're offering a coffee? 😂

Yes. Context is all.

Sounds like negging, very rude

Negging, yes rude. What is the purpose of the comment?

Of course it is, it's a negative comment about someone's appearance.

My boyfriends dad told me I look tired twice yesterday and I got annoyed and offended. DP thinks it’s nothing to be annoyed about but I just think it’s plain rude. Especially because I felt absolutely fine, wasn’t tired, and he told me “I’ve never seen you look so tired” I sarcastically said “thank you, you also look like shit” and he just laughed. But then DP said I need to chill out

This. It can be said in a caring way to someone you know well. I wouldn't dream of saying it to an acquaintance but would to someone I cared about, if indeed they did look tired

Yes, it’s rude. And annoying.

If it is someone who knows you well and knows your life they may well be showing concern. Perhaps he was about to tell his son that he needed to do more to help you ....your reply was really rude.

my uncle does this to my sister all the time - it's so rude. Yes she looks tired, because she fucking is. Two SEN kids, always a bit skint, and a terminally ill mother ffs.

He might have been rude but your sarky comment was far ruder so I'm sure you made your point and can move on now.

Very rude. Unless it’s a healthcare professional and there’s a reason for announcing this.

Why would anyone say this? What’s the response meant to be. If someone is tired the last thing they want to hear is, “yeah you look it”.

And saying it from a “place of concern” isn’t any better!

It is rude to negatively comment on someone’s appearance. End of.

I don't see a problem in your response, I would never tell someone they look really tired, it is rude and a not so subtle way of saying you look crap. So good for you, hopefully he's learnt his lesson and won't say it again.

I’ve said it to friends when we’ve been out in the week for a catch up but it’s late and clearly their bedtime and stifling yawns etc. I might say “come on, let’s ask for the bill and get off home, you look tired…” is that rude? I hope not. I only say it gently with the best intentions.

I’d say in your context OP he was rude and the comment was not necessary.

If it was a friend who I knew was going through a hard time or something and if they said they were knackered then I might say to them that they look tired. But would add do you need anything, can I help you with DCs or whatever.

There's someone I know who tells me this every time I see her. Not a problem for me.

I don't think it's rude, but some people seem to get upset by it. I wouldn't say it to anyone.

This. You told your FIL he "looked like shit"?! Wow.

No I'd say that's not rude, they are yawning. You're not commenting on how their face looks.

Unsolicited comments about your appearance are never welcome. Obviously.

Yes it's very rude. It's something I'd only ever say to close family members

At least it's not "you look well"

It can be asked with genuine concern. It depends on context.

Yup as someone who goes through periods of not sleeping well, and also suffers from dark undereye circles no matter how well I've slept - I would not appreciate someone saying this to me. Different if I'm speaking to friend/family member & I say I'm tired & they respond sympathetically and say I look tired.

Not sure I'd respond tho by telling them they look shit - depend on the relationship I have with them 😂

I get this every time I appear somewhere without makeup. I am just very pale. It makes me feel ugly and self conscious. Of course it’s rude. If you’re tired, it’s up to you to say that if you want to. What can anyone do about it anyway? Take on all your responsibilities for the day and send you for a nap? If they can’t/won’t do that, they shouldn’t be asking.

It's awful if someone says it to you and you're not tired... basically just means you look like shit then