to want to pay off the mortgage instead?

[onnwt]

I was gifted 100k last year. Dd is due to start school in a year. My parents (who gifted the money) are ‘very sad’ I’ve decided to use the money to pay off half the remaining mortgage instead of towards school fees.

They said they assumed I would keep the money until she started secondary (and presumably add to it between now and then) or I would use 10k a year from the 100k and spend my own income on the rest of the fees per year if she was to start age 5. They’ve said I can do what I want with it but they ‘assumed I wanted dd to have the best opportunity in life.’

My outstanding mortgage is 208k. I would love to pay it off to under 100k as I would then realistically be mortgage free by 45 (I’m 32). I’m now second guessing myself as I do have a healthy income and could feasibly just pay the fees from income alone. I wanted to enjoy life though. For context state schools round here aren’t they best but aren’t the worst either. I’m now feeling like a shit mum and also even worse as DS’s dad has zero interest so this decision totally rests on me. WWYD?

I'm not totally clear on the situation here. Is it that there are three competing options (overpay, school fees and you wanting to enjoy life) and the 100k means you can afford two but not three of them?

I agree. You don't just wake up and find 100k in your bank account! (If anyone has a way to contact the money fairies please send them my bank details).

Actually, is it possible to put the money in a high interest account and just wait until she’s reaching secondary age to see if it’s the right decision? She may want to go to the local comp with her friends and you can pay off your mortgage guilt free…

Not in my experience Janieforever.
How many private and state schools have you experienced?

Is the mortgage in both you and DD's dad's names, or just yours? If both, I would be cautious about putting 100k of your money into the mortgage unless you can get some legal paperwork which says you own more of the house in the event of separation

Wow, you're not a bad mum!! I would absolutely put it twds the mortgage and when I was given my inheritance that's what i did. Once the mortgage is paid off there is less insecurity if you lose your job/become disabled/other unknown difficulties occur. Money for education can come out of your wages if you decide to make that choice.

Someone once told me that if you ever come into money, you should first pay all your debts - I think that is good advice.

Also, are you likely to stay in the area where you currently live? Because with a child who is presumably 4ish now, you have a long time to go before secondary.

Did your parents give instructions when they gave you the money for your DD/DS? As long as you save up the same £100,000 out of your income/spend that much on treats/uni it's the same thing really

DS’s dad has zero interest so this decision totally rests on me do you live with/are you married to DS's/DD's dad?

Pay off mortgage! Every time! Maybe also consider decent income protection policy if you don’t already have that in place. The roof over your head is more important.

Not every child benefits from the pushiness and entitled atmosphere of private education. It also puts a lot of pressure on a child, whether academic or not.

Yanbu. I'm a lone parent and was gifted quite a few thousand (not quite as much as you).
It almost all went on the mortgage and meant it was paid off before I was 50. Was tempted to blow it on disney and a car but a secure roof over our heads was the sensible decision.

I think I would pay the mortgage off as financially this makes sense and then save money towards her schooling at secondary level as you say you you can probably afford it and this is when I think it really makes a difference.

How bad exactly are your local schools? My kids benefitted enormously by going to the local comp with local kids. One chap got a music scholarship to a private school, but was at the local comp by October half-term, missing his friends.

No-one gave me any money but I've paid school fees and still have a mortgage.

But you aren't me. My mortgage was about £50k when ds went to his school. And the state school here is terrible. Even ofsted agrees.

If you pay off half your mortgage, you will have far more disposable income that your dd will benefit from. You will both have a more secure home. You may be able to pay fees out of your salary, given that your mortgage will have halved.

You need to judge what is best for you and your dd. Your mum is very kind but she cannot fully understand your situation. My mum would have told me to pay off my mortgage but It wasn't her decision to make. Just as this is your decision not hers.

I'd do both, use the 100k to pay off mortgage and pay out of salary for school. Personally if I could I'd send my kids private tbh🤷‍♀️

I would pay my mortgage but also plan private secondary education.

I'd pay off the mortgage. You will save loads in interest which means you can save more and make a decision about secondary when the time comes. Personally enjoying life and money for uni/house deposit are more important to me than school fees.

Mortgage first, then pay school
the weigh off your back from worrying about the family's housing can be transfered to you spend time with DD extra time attention in her education School isn't the only place to learn and children get alot from parents who have the time and energy to teach outside school setting IMO

Private school doesnt equal better

Did they say we'd like to give you some money towards our DGC's private education or did they just say we're giving you money Op? If it was the second they presumed you'd send her to private school and are now unhappy about it. I'm sure their intentions were good but if it was for school only why didn't they say so.

So you will be using your parents money to have a good time once mortgage is paid? By which time the kids will have left school?

Unless they want to pay for every term fee trip uniform etx at private school

Why would you think of sending dc to a private school instead of securing future and paying a chunk of mortgage of

Off

Also, keep your payments the same so it may be paid off by the time your child starts secondary.

They should have gifted it to DD with a caveat to be used for education. One of my Aunts did this, not that much though. Invest it in your DDs name and use for University, investment rates are probably higher than your mortgage rate anyway. They should have said it was for DD if they didn't give it to her directly.

I would pay off a large chunk of mortgage. Say £60k.

That will then reduce your mortgage loads and allow you to possibly drop 1 day of work as lower payments. Less childcare needed. More time with child

I wouldn’t go down the private school route. It’s so expensive now, £100k will barely cover primary school, especially with added VAT. Spend the £40k remaining on educational expenses like experiences, memberships, resources.

state school, with additional sport classes and music lessons. With trips to various locations. Tutor if needed when older, and extra time from not having to work full capacity will give a very good education