AIBU to get a back up as I don’t like flower girl dress?

[Zebedee2024]

My daughter is a flower girl at her aunties wedding in August. Her auntie ordered her a dress and got it sent straight to our house. I really really do not like it at all. It’s very thick long sleeve almost down to the ankles, my daughter can’t walk yet and due to it being so long she can’t crawl in it so is getting very frustrated by it. AIBU to buy something else and change her into it after the ceremony is over?

That’s absolutely fine! As long as she’s had photos etc , she has to be comfy !

My sister in law got changed into another outfit after all photos / speeches etc - for the evening - as she felt uncomfortable in the dress . She didn’t ask me , just told me that she was heading back to her hotel to change before the evening guests started arriving and it didn’t bother me at all, I wanted her to be comfortable! In fact , I was jealous that I didn’t have a change as my dress , although beautiful, drove me mad!

I think you need to tell the bride that despite expectations when she chose her as flower girl she isn’t walking yet and unlikely to be on the day. I would pull her out as flower girl and offer the option of getting a refund on the dress. As she’s clearly assumed, does the dress even fit? If she really wants her as part of the wedding party who will be responsible for carrying her down the aisle? Definitely have a change of clothes, regardless of the flower girl dress, as toddlers get mucky quickly.

You need communicate with your SIL. About the dress and about the fact you don't think your DD is ready to be a flower girl.
All these issues could be solved with a chat. Good luck.

As the mum of an 18 month old I would say that it’s completely normal to have a change of clothes with me for LO at all time as there is always the risk of food spills, nappy leaks, etc. So I would have with me a back up outfit anyway, with no need to say anything to SIL. Don’t buy a flower girl style outfit. As others have said keep her in the one bought for her for the ceremony and photos. Then just change her into a backup outfit and if asked any questions mention any type of usual reasons for changing a toddler out of an outfit. Or say you know she’s a messy eater so you wanted to change her before the meal so the dress didn’t get ruined. Most people don’t bat an eyelid when toddlers go through multiple outfits in a day.

I did not walk until 22 months got around perfectly OK by shuffling on my bottom and was rather overweight so dont worry too much if she is active in other ways.

Meghan? Kate?

It’s up to you to advocate for your child and tell the bride it’s not happening.