DD 4 and a half constantly repeating her desires on holiday

[napkinbear]

It's just constant. From the moment she wakes up it's ' I want to go to the pool ' the moment we hey outside, it's I'm hot or 'I want to buy goggles'.

We've been up for 30 minutes and she's already asked to go to the pool 100 times maybe.

She has other stuff she can do, toys, iPad, drawing stuff, TV. But she just repeats and repeats and repeats what she wants and I keep explaining, we are getting ready now, having breakfast and we will go after that etc. but she just won't asking every 30 seconds.

Eventually I snap sometimes and it feels mean. She still continues to ask though anyway, after maybe a 5 minute break. It's annoying.

What can be done ? Is this just normal for her age ?

Tell me your kids are adults without telling me your kids are adults.

Ask first thing what things they want to do that day. Tell them what things you want to do. Then start teaching the time - at 10am we can go in the pool. At 11am we can go to the shop. At 12 mummy is having half an hour of reading and you can colour or iPad etc.

Then stick to it!

Fuck me, the smug perfect lying parents are out in force today aren’t they? 😂

@NeverDropYourMooncup

lol OP isn’t saying her daughter has to do that all day! She just has to wait whilst they get ready - have a shower, brush teeth, pack bags, brush hair, tie up hair, put sun cream on whatever. Kids just need to learn to wait!

@INeedAnotherName

yeah op! Don’t bother showering, don’t bother cleaning your teeth, don’t bother brushing your hair, don’t bother going to the toilet, don’t brother getting dressed…just GET IN THAT POOL AND MAKE MEMORIES!!

🙄

I mean sure clean your teeth, but everything else you'll be doing at/before the pool anyway. Just brush your teeth in your swimsuit and go 😂

To me that would be highly annoying, she needs to learn a bit of patience. I mean she can't wake up every day and whine about this when you need to get ready, or actually do stuff.
I would just say that we need to do X, Y before we go and any more whining means less time in the pool. Not sure why people find it so hard to set some boundaries with kids. Yes it's a holiday but that doesn't mean bad behaviour is ok.

This is why DH and I used to get different reactions from ds.
In your pool example I would've been , yes! I want to go to the pool too , come on let's get showered and dressed quickly, do you want to choose which trunks you're wearing? We'll have to have breakfast first so we've got energy for swimming, I think I'm going to have poached eggs what do you think you'll choose? Right mummy's getting in the shower can you get your clothes on and when I come out we'll brush teeth. Have a think about if you want to go on the rest slide out blue slide first. Etc. Cue excited 4 year old dashing about getting ready.

DH would sit with a cup of tea and say not yet, we'll go after breakfast, you're not even dressed yet, cue DS ohhhh but I want to go to the pool...... Whine etc , DH - stop moaning we won't get there any quicker, DS it's not fair I want to go swimming ad infinitum.

Both scenarios result in the same outcome everyone gets ready goes for breakfast and then to the pool, one ends up with a happy excited child the other with a whingey moany one, I know which makes my holiday easier. Buy into the excitement and show them you are moving towards the goal of being in the pool, it makes all the difference.

Also don't you get that feeling of waking up on holiday sun shining and being raring to go for the day? I don't go away to sit in hotel rooms.

I'd either go to the pool or I'd tell her that there's a crocodile in there so it's a no go unless she wants to get death rolled.

@Moonshiners said

I don't tolerate whining. My kids are now teens and obviously it's impossible to get them out of bed

So you spoilt their childhoods with draconian anti-whine rules on holidays when they wanted to get up and out and doing things but now can't even get them out of bed when you want them to get up and out and doing things? That's worked well then? Hilarious. 😂

OP the pool and the swimming are the centre of her world during this holiday and it's great that she likes the water and swimming because if she didn't that would be a real problem for you to deal with and spend most of your holiday in the pool trying to get past with her, for her future safety and well being. If you didn't want her to be on about swimming every morning and prefer to do other things then why did you get a place with a pool?! 🤔

I'd advise getting yourself organised ASAP in the mornings, packed to go the night before, and get on with the swimming for goodness' sake. In the meantime while you really are doing the minimum to get ready, just give an autopilot response over and again without getting upset about it, while using the more sensible techniques such as the drawn plan to tick off.

(Afterthought: Why do you want a 4 year old to be on an iPad on holiday?!? Bonkers.)

You might find she starts to settle down. We went away recently and my 5yo started as a Duracell bunny and by the second half needed to be woken up from sleeping in so we wouldn’t miss breakfast. Can you shift her to staying up a bit later so she’s a bit more chill in the morning?

when we’ve done villa holidays, we’ve always done breakfast and then a long morning session in the pool. Mine have generally been willing to be much more chilled out in the afternoon than they ever have in the morning and they need to get out into the pool pretty quickly in the morning to avoid the nagging. We’d generally do breakfast, long pool, lunch and a bit of chill, pool again and then time to relax/quiet time before going out to dinner.

I never said I was will be doing other stuff, did I ?

I was just saying I would like to get ready and for us to have breakfast without her asking every 30 seconds. That's all.

As for her iPad comment, yes my child has an iPad that she uses sometimes. Along with other fun things she does with her life. I don't see an issue at all. It really helped on the plane ( as well as other activity books ) and while we had to wait two hours for a hire car. Shoot me. I don't think it's unusual at all to take an iPad on holiday. She's doing so many fun things, as well as using her iPad sometimes or watching a bit of TV.

Also it's not just about the pool- she's incessantly repeating a lot of her wants and desires at the moment on the holiday. She doesn't do it as much at home. That's all.

I know you are trying your best to annoy me with your post and yes, you succeed.

I will not, leave me alone with that. No one asked for an opinion on her iPad.

Thinking now about family holidays I most remember - and so much involved water. The pool at the caravan site. In the sea with little brother and grandparents. The beach with parents and friends. Paddling in the river at Laleham. Water, water everywhere.

Stop worrying about her expressing her yearning for the water - and celebrate it.

Chuck your bathers on and get in there.

You'll tire her out so she and you sleep well. And she'll be learning confidence, strength and skill to be able to swim to safety if she should ever fall in.

😂😂😂

She is after yr attention, iPad etc isn’t a substitute for parents attention.

The stupid fucking comments like this are hilarious.

iPad: useful for flights and travel, and educational games to occupy children for short times while essential activities have to take place.

Mumsnet mad posters: “seriously, throw that £1,000 electronic demon brain killer into the pool. Now. Take all your clothes off and make memories, not breakfast, you parental failure…”

Posted from iPhones and laptops at 11am in the morning from people who clearly don’t adhere to their own admonishments.

It’s not unusual. Just ignore all the preachy liars, they’re out in force this morning. Some posters like to get their jollies and feel better about their own failings by being arseholes to posters who put their heads above the parapet and ask for a bit of help. It’s their problem, it’s not you.

@WilfredDidNotStealYourSausages

lol where has op said she’s not gonna take her kid to the pool? She is, she probably just doesn’t wanna be in there the second she wakes up as some of you are suggesting!

Op might wanna put on a bit of makeup first - like a spf primer or waterproof mascara before going down the pool. I know what will blow some minds on here…

Set the timer on her iPad so she can see the time counting down. Tell her to not ask again because you won't answer her. Ignore it from there and point to the iPad. She will get the message. It sounds like attention seeking behaviour.

I'm reading a selection of posts here on Mumsnet at the moment by women who don't feel they can state their desires and needs around how they're being treated, wanting to marry, wanting to end relationships, having difficult conversations with relatives and colleagues.

But here's a little girl who knows what she wants, is stating clearly what she wants, and is standing her ground and repeating it.

This is fantastic. Bloody hard work, yes - but fantastic.

@JFDIYOLO

by that token then what about what op wants? Sounds like she wants half an hour or whatever getting herself and stuff together before heading down to do what daughter wants - pool. Surely it’s ok for children to see that others peoples needs and wants matter too and that compromise can be had?