DD 4 and a half constantly repeating her desires on holiday

[napkinbear]

It's just constant. From the moment she wakes up it's ' I want to go to the pool ' the moment we hey outside, it's I'm hot or 'I want to buy goggles'.

We've been up for 30 minutes and she's already asked to go to the pool 100 times maybe.

She has other stuff she can do, toys, iPad, drawing stuff, TV. But she just repeats and repeats and repeats what she wants and I keep explaining, we are getting ready now, having breakfast and we will go after that etc. but she just won't asking every 30 seconds.

Eventually I snap sometimes and it feels mean. She still continues to ask though anyway, after maybe a 5 minute break. It's annoying.

What can be done ? Is this just normal for her age ?

Oh relax, it's early. I'm sure they're going to have a perfectly active day at the pool, but first everyone needs to get up and dressed, sun cream on, pool bags sorted. Probably one bathroom for the whole family. That takes a little bit of time, which seems like an eternity to a four year old.

Omg a 4yo pestering to go to the pool on holiday - unheard of 😂 she’s excited! It’s boring waiting for people to get ready

Oh relax, it's early

I suspect if its somewhere warm with a pool its an hour or more ahead of the uk and probably not that early.

It’s gone 9 in Spain - practically lunchtime if you were on holiday with my family 😂

My god you people would be my worst nightmare on holiday. Unclench.

Perfectly normal. I would prescribe a swim before breakfast as the cure.

OP posted at 8:08 Spanish time. That's not pool time!

It doesn’t solve the whole problem, but for things you will do with her and she ‚just‘ has to wait for, the free apps Time Timer and Visual Timer (both the same sort of thing) are excellent.

I can hear my Dads booming voice now "the more you ask, the longer you have to wait"
me and my sister used to think he was a right fun sponge but I admit I've done the same to my own children albeit in a more light hearted way
"the first rule about the pool is no one talks about the pool!"

At four though it is kind of expected, I used to go full CBeebies presenter and say "mee too, I can't wait to have breakfast/shower then we can go it's so exciting isn't it, can you pack the towels into the bag while I brush my teeth"

My kids do this when we aren't even on holiday! I turn into my mother and say 'I want never gets!' Or 'give my head peace' 🤣

Lock the phone and iPad in the safe and get them out for the journey home. You're on holiday! 😃🌞

So often, we adults shut down our children instead of acknowledging them.

"I want to go to the pool" actually means, "I am so excited about going to the pool that I can't contain it and I don't understand why we're not dropping everything and going right now because going to the pool is so exciting to me that I can't think about anything else and I can't comprehend that everyone doesn't feel the same".

And you reply, "no, I've already said we're not going until 8.30 when we've had breakfast and made the beds" and feel exasperated. And she's exasperated too so she repeats herself.

A really effective parenting tactic is to acknowledge and affirm what your small child is saying. Have you tried, "I know, you're so excited!! You really can't wait to go to the pool!! Are you going to go on the blue slide first, or the splash pool?"

Or even, "I hear you. You REALLY want to go to the pool! You can't wait!"

It might feel a bit cheesy, but honestly, this was a game changer for me.

Not my idea - I got it from HTTSKWLALSKWT - and I used this little trick on all three of mine. It changed how we communicate. I still use it now as a primary school teacher.

When my kids do this (6yr olds), I tell them I am not answering the same question again. If they ask again I stay quiet. If they get upset by that then I ask them ‘what did mummy say about x?’, which 99% leads them to say what I’ve told them. They reinforce the answer themselves this way.

Try saying ‘when did mummy say we could go to the pool?’ / ‘what are we doing before we go to the pool?’ Etc.

I do that automatically anyway. Still doesn't help.

That’s a horrible thing to say to a child. It’s also very damaging. How is a child supposed to learn how to express her needs and desires if she can’t say what she wants.

I cant believe anyone would punish a 4 year old for not wanting to sit in an iPad!!

Can't one of you get up with her and ahenis out for a walk round the resort ?

Take her out I mean....

Glad I wasn't the only one thinking that.

This is ridiculous. We are staying at a house and have our own pool. She can see it constantly.. that's why she's asking, constantly.

She wanted to go in the pool last night at bed time.

We are super active, but sometimes she just has to wait. It's completely normal. Even at home, she can't always get exactly what she wants when she wants and she needs to wait sometimes .

She's in the pool now having a blast.

Yesterday we spent all day at the beach and pool and then out to a fun fair. She's having an absolute blast !

And walk her past the pool but not let her get in?

Sometimes kids have to wait for the good stuff while the grown-ups get ready. That's life, does them no harm.

This. She is far too young for an iPad anyway. No wonder she doesn’t know how to be bored.

Perfect and lifts your own mood too, if needed, in a sort of fake it 'til you make it way🤽

Wow all these mothers of the year that never make their kids wait for anything. How do you do it ?

My similar age DD is like this a lot of the time. Constantly asking ‘where are we going today/ tomorrow’, ‘when are we going’, ‘what are we doing next’ etc. She hates it when we don’t do anything and wants to be doing something all the time. I think it’s quite normal but also depends on their personality as I’m sure there’s plenty of children happy to relax at home.

I’m also in my 50s and the last time I went on holiday with my parents I was about 20. The reason I never went again was my frustration at my mother and sister wasting half the day having a shower, blow drying their hair, choosing their outfit and applying a full face of make up to go to the pool or beach.

Then when we came home after a day out, we couldn’t eat dinner until the whole process was repeated again.

We were not allowed to do anything until they were ready, we had to do everything together as it was a Family Holiday .

I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it decades later 😂