To get irrationally irritated by waiting for latecomers when I’ve made the effort to be on time?

[Hazeby]

When you’re waiting for something to start, be it a work meeting or presentation or a school event….. “We’ll just give it ten more minutes for any latecomers and then we’ll start…”

NO!!

I may as well turn up ten minutes late myself plus how will these people learn to be on time unless it starts without them. Gives me the rage.

It's not ok to be late to a dinner party when the host is cooking for you.

You’ve just reminded me that we went to a televised ‘thing’ in Rome once and were told to be in hour seats at 7.30. At 9pm everyone was still wandering around, chatting and smoking, the chap sitting next to us explained that this is Rome and timekeeping is not important to anyone. I love that attitude, we will do it when we’re ready.

Obviously you have to be more organised when trying to fit in lots of meetings but I can’t imagine getting worked up by people being late - and before anyone says it, I’m not a habitually late person. I’m usually the one starting meetings but I can’t imagine getting worked up about people being late.

Also, my only gripe when people walk in with a coffee is where’s mine?

Your apology is pretty meaningless though isn't it, because you are literally doing it on purpose.

You're so entitled. Unbelievable.

This is one of the issues for our managers, wall to wall meetings in their calendars. Being on time could be a real challenge for them as a result. When setting up meetings we could see their availability and would book slots in between other meetings.

the last few companies i have worked for have a standard for this: there are no 30 minute or 60 minute meetings, they are 25 minutes or 50/55 minutes. To allow toilet breaks and movement between meetings. Everyone who receives a meeting that butts up against a meeting they already have are encouraged (robustly) to request a time change to make sure these 5/10 minute gaps are kept. (and also to put a blocker in their calendar for 1~2 blocks of time per day to , you know, work.

Yanbu

Occasionally things cant be helped. Major accident. Family emergency etc but don't act like morning school run traffic is a surprise.

Instead of calling people uptight think about how much effort they may have made to get their on time or the expense and inconvenience involved to ensure they were on time. For every person who walks in late due to poor planning and no sense of urgency there's someone else who got up stupidly early , to take the kids elsewhere, grandparents who had to have the kids longer than usual, the extra expense of a babysitter/extra nursery hours/day, a taxi instead of a bus to ensure no delays etc

People have every right to be a bit miffed if it then turns out they could have had an extra hour in bed or gotten a bus or a lift after all.

Its rude to assume everyone else finds it easy and it's not an expense or inconvenience to get somewhere. And of course you expect them to incurred the costs/inconvenience all over again because they can't finish on time due to late comers. Maybe people should be billed for the costs to others of their lateness.

Tbh in my job it’s fairly standard for people to be late for meetings if the meeting they were at before overran and yes, was more important and I don’t care if someone’s under the misguided impression their time is equally important in that context. If the next meeting is more important, I’ll leave the first one in time to get to the next time (even if it’s not actually finished). I always turn up on time to school things (because I’m able to organise my calendar to do so) but I don’t mind at all if they start late to allow for some latecoming - I don’t see it as my time being disrespected, just a bit of understanding that it’s generally a weeknight immediately after most people finish work, and it’s just good luck on my part on the evenings I’m able to be one of the ones to get there a bit early and sit and people watch with a coffee.

This used to drive me insane at uni, mainly because the people who were late lived literally across the road from the building most of out lectures were in.

I'm more lenient if you have two busses to catch or something else happened but not when it ia habitual.

I can't stand people who are regularly late. Worse is knowingly being late and still doing it! It's egotistical - they're saying their time is more valuable than mine. If I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I plan the journey time plus a 10-15 min buffer because that's just good planning and good manners.

My kids had a sports event recently due to start at say 11am. So obvs we arrived before to queue, change and register. It was meant to be 2 hours. At 11.45 there were still parents traipsing their kids in. Not changed, not ready, just casually strolling in late. The event couldn't properly start til everyone arrived. How can you be the best part of an hour late?! There were no road accidents, plenty of parking, no apologies given. We ended up being sat there for well over 3.5 hours which is totally unfair on all the kids just waiting and waiting.

Yes hate people being late such a bad habit. My doctor did a thread about people late it effects her next apts. Then ranting to be seen. Same with office meetings and they breeze in then!

I don't work in an office environment, so work lateness doesn't affect me. At ticketed events though? Live shows like comedy, theatre etc all begin late as standard now because people can't drag themselves away from the bar. Ffs!

I love that - a "6 minute rule" 😁

It is so specific - not 5 minutes, or 10 minutes, but 6 minutes!!

I wonder why he chose that amount?!

That sounds like complete stupidity on the part of the organisers. I sincerely doubt anyone was expecting the start time to be delayed 45 minutes for them personally.

I hate being late!!! Despise! My mother in law has no concept of time and when she is coming to visit us, she regularly misses her coach. She makes us late for any plans we have and she always prioritises herself over anyone else.

She wants a cup of tea first, she needs to do something on her phone etc etc

My yoga teacher is the same. She won't allow lateness. I'm thankful for her because we only get one hour and losing 5 minutes because of latecomers impacts our session over all.

Starting on time only inconveniences the latecomers. Waiting for latecomers inconveniences everyone else

This - the additional problem being that, once habitual latecomers know there'll be 10 minutes allowed, they'll just tack this onto the original start time (plus an extra 10 minutes in all likelihood)

When I used to train, especially if it was something attendees really needed to progress, I'd just refuse entry to the persistent ones; needless to say it sorted it out pretty fast

My biggest pet hate. I used to be in uniformed services and the mantra was "if you're on time, you're late". I've now switched to another career where no one is on time and it infuriates me . I'm sick of hearing "let's wait 10 minutes for such and such". No, let's just start on time. Argggghhhhhhhh

I was well-known for starting my trainings and meetings on the dot. To ensure people then weren't delayed for other obligations they had.

When people turned up late, it wasn't a problem - I always made sure there were minutes or handouts covering all material, so they could catch up later. But in fact, people began turning up on time.

And if you let timings slip, what happens is that people get fed up of waiting for others, so they then stop turning up on time. I've seen weekly meetings gradually shift their unofficial start times by over half an hour because of this 'lateness drift', especially when some of those who are habitually late were consultant doctors. When I chaired, these were back to their official start time within three weeks, because it turns out even consultants don't want to miss being part of decisions that are made in the first half of a meeting. It's also a simple task to delay a discussion where a particular person is needed.

Of course, occasionally people get delayed - but I wouldn't expect a whole meeting to wait for me in that case, and would suggest it's quite entitled to expect that.

I was running late for a lecture at uni. I ran, literally ran, in the old fashioned sense of the word ‘literally’, to class and the lecturer saw me running past the big glass windows at the end of the lecture hall. I snuck in quietly, mouthed ‘I’m sorry I’m late’ and sat down in the nearest seat as unobtrusively as possible.

I was still catching my breath 30 seconds later when two other students sauntered in, carrying coffees and talking away to each other. He exploded at them!

I’m so glad my parents taught me good manners. And that attitude is (almost) everything.

That makes no sense at all and is frankly the organisers' fault
Start the show on time FGS and refuse to let the barflies in - having wasted the price of their ticket they'll soon learn

My son’s Uni careers dept had the right idea when they did “mock” job interviews and mock group interviews/group tasks over a few weeks. Students got one slot for each and were told they’d not be admitted if they were late. Students chose their own slots via an online booking system with lots of options and were told to choose dates/times that wouldn’t clash with lectures and which were do-able having regard to transport options etc. Basically no excuses for anyone being late. He said the doors did indeed close at exactly the start time and late students weren’t admitted and couldn’t rebook a future session - they lost out. The sessions started and finished bang on time and there were no interruptions etc. A great learning experience for the late students who missed out and better sessions for the majority who got there on time and didn’t have distractions.

He said he wished they’d done it with lectures and seminars as there was always a steady stream of latecomers disrupting the session, who just casually strolled in when they felt like it!

When I worked in industry and had several meetings per day, the firm had a rule that you could only book meetings to start on the hour and the booking was for a fixed 50 minutes. So everyone had at least a ten minute gap between meetings for the loo, make a drink, make a phone call, etc, and still have time to get to the next meeting on time, even for back to back meetings. Most meetings were less than 50 minutes so you had more time doing other. It meant meetings generally ran on time. If something couldn’t be fully discussed/resolved within 50 minutes, you’d book more than one session and break it down - the rule was that it had to be a different day, which meant managers could keep up with other things rather than spending a whole half day in one meeting. All worked really well.

I’m an academic. How do you suggest this is carried out across scheduled lectures and seminars? It’s all very well to police this with one-off small sessions, but if I have a weekly second-year lecture in a 300-seater theatre at 11 on Tuesdays with two doors at the back and me at a lectern down at the front, a long way from the entrances, are you suggesting the university employs security staff to bar latecomers at the door? I can’t lock the only fire exits to the theatre with hundreds of students inside before I begin, and I certainly can’t interrupt my lecture to tell latecomers to leave, as that is both monumentally frustrating for me and the people who are listening and arrived on time.

I do think there are neurological differences between people and it's not really instinctual to live to a '5 minute clock'.

I tend to find that the 'early' people are much more likely to be amongst the early risers too.
I have ADHD. But it's the ASD spectrum people who seem to be over represented in the always-on-time-if-not-early group.
The difference in time-keeping abilities and waking hours are one of the main reasons I object to the new adhd/autism (combined) diagnoses. They used to be mutually exclusive and should have stayed that way to ensure a better targeted help - quite a few psychiatrists agree.
The early people also seem to just love the clock! There is this need to have a clear time plan laid out for everything, no matter how casual the occasion - the start, the duration and the end times.
They are also the most likely to use the phrase "the day is running away" or "the day is over" - at like 12pm.

I'm sometimes late, not often. But the mental gymnastics and the physical fitness I need to put into it, is astounding. I'm not disrespecting anyone - why would I make myself feeling faint and nearly sick at work after running with a backpack and in a heavy coat for 30mins to make it there on time.
I'm like a 5-foot-nothing basketball player who has to put in disproportionate effort and jump higher and harder than the other players will ever have to, just to get to the ball. If I drop the effort... I come up short (literally and time-wise).
I've set up my life so that I barely need to be anywhere on the dot. I avoid timed things.
But I can understand the lateness annoyance. Probably similar to how I feel about folk with different ways.

People are diverse and most are in between the time keeping extremes. If you're a clock watcher, be glad - this world is mostly set up for your neurology!

Though sounds like Italy is calling my name 😁 The weather's better too... 🤔

Where I work it used to be really easy to be late. You of course wouldn't be logged In on the tills but you could always argue that u didn't log In straight away and instead tidied up or ran shop errands etc

Eventually they switched to clock In methods where you had to physically be on the premises to be able to log in. Which was great for a while until people started coming in on time, clocking in then going for a cigarette/making a phone call/ getting changed and taking forever. So annoying when you are the person In first and you have waited hours to get anyone in and/or pee or get food and then they keep you waiting even bloody longer whilst being paid for fucking about