To get irrationally irritated by waiting for latecomers when I’ve made the effort to be on time?

[Hazeby]

When you’re waiting for something to start, be it a work meeting or presentation or a school event….. “We’ll just give it ten more minutes for any latecomers and then we’ll start…”

NO!!

I may as well turn up ten minutes late myself plus how will these people learn to be on time unless it starts without them. Gives me the rage.

yes it's so flipping annoying

It’s not irrational. If people really try, most can be on time. It’s ok to be inpatient and fed up if you have made the effort to get there.

Some people are more reliable than others. Am guessing there will be lots of comments about adhd as I read the thread now…

*have not read the whole thing: a refreshing thread with minimal excuses for persistent lateness! I have found my people.

OP. What are your views on earliness? I find excessive earliness irritating. I had a friend who had to be anywhere on average about 40 minutes early. So if we were taking the children to the cinema, she needed to meet us 40 mins before even the adverts started.
She made out it was her good manners when really it was her anxiety and need for control - so wearing.

Of course people get delayed. That’s life.

But if I get unavoidably delayed I accept that the event will have already started. That’s life.

Don’t you think that’s rude?

Yes. That’s why I literally say in my post ‘I do acknowledge it’s rude’. If the class was oversubscribed I wouldn’t take the place of someone who wants to do it and could be on time, but this isn’t the case and as I said I sneak in so as not to disturb the other members and also I always apologise to the teacher. I have no other way of doing an exercise class tho so in the grand scheme of it and the importance of exercise I justify it.

I used to work with a GM who had a 6 minute rule. If a meeting wasn’t started within 6 mins of the start time he would walk out. Also if someone arrived after the meeting started they weren’t allowed to join and would have to find out what happened from someone else. Of course this didn’t go well when the late person was vital to the meeting, so people were never late.

My DH has the whole time/mess blindness thing with his ADHD, but he knows it so makes sure it dosnt effect others, he’s never ever late. Mess and chaos we cope with when needed, but he can’t cope with being late so never is.

It depends on your sector as to what is acceptable- I work in HE, meetings are held which will always clash with someone’s teaching. The students come first, no-one is going to cut short their seminar or tell a student they are “too busy to talk” to get to a meeting so people join (physically or on Teams) when they can. Being punitive wouldn’t get you anywhere as people aren’t late for the fun of it, they are prioritising other things.

I'm autistic and can't stand being late, and as such are usually ridiculously early, but even I couldn't manage to get from one end of our large office to the other in the less than 30 seconds I had between meetings ( they're online now which is much easier). I only had this problem once a week but suddenly realised why my boss could never be on time ( he had a lot more meetings).

When i am holding a meeting or delivering training - i close the door to the room we're in and do not let anyone in who arrives after i have started. I expect them to be ready to start when the meeting is scheduled to start.

For sure a genuine emergency will be ok, but if they can't be bothered to be on time, they don't get the benefit of my expertise.

Why are you apologising? You don't mean it, and you don't plan to stop doing it.
You think 5 mins of your work time is so much more important than being rude and constantly, purposely late. I honestly can't believe your twattery.

Neither can I. I can’t imagine doing something deliberately that I knew to be rude and STILL doing it.

The people in the yoga class trying to relax and who’ve paid to attend must be so fuming at you every single week.

But @Wantitalltogoaway clearly everyone else in the class is a lowly pleb who does not have a BIG IMPORTANT JOB and cannot comprehend how important it is that @KarmenPQZ spends that 5 mins at her desk rather than bothering her arse to be at class on time.

I guess the waiting a few mins for latecomers is to stop them being interrupted when they start saying what they need to say. But I agree with you, it is annoying when people can't turn up on time, especially when you end up hearing the same info twice.

This is one of the issues for our managers, wall to wall meetings in their calendars. Being on time could be a real challenge for them as a result. When setting up meetings we could see their availability and would book slots in between other meetings.

Then I glimpsed the calendar of one of our senior managers and for most major meetings she would block out 10-15 minutes preparation time for meetings in her calendar so that no one could book the slot immediately before major meetings. Usually what the appointment is isn't visible but I had visibility of them for some reason.

Game changer. If I have a big meeting I now book out the time slot beforehand. Then I have time to get a cuppa, go to the loo, open up relevant documents etc, etc. I am now on time and PREPARED!

And if a day so starting to get busy with meetings (although not really a problem in my current role) I also make sure I book in my lunch time.

@Hazeby What if... the people everyone is waiting for are only late because their previous appointment ran on, due to "let's wait 10 minutes for latecomers"!?

YANBU!

I’m amazed that building in buffer time in the calendar isn’t a thing for most people. It’s always been a standard technique taught on Time Management events.

I think you might need the relaxation bit more than the extra 10 minutes of work to be honest 😉

🤣 You sound great.

Ds's sports presentation was 6pm on Saturday... Still waiting as the coach downed his 5th pint at 7. 25.. Dh was all for leaving.. We got the prize and a photo then left...

I start on time as the class I teach would mean children missing out on a vital lesson that their parents paid for. The nature of the activity means that latecomers cannot join the activity, so they must turn around and go home with Mum or Dad. Most people are only late once.

Yabu, As someone who organises events you can never please everyone, no matter what you take into consideration it’s always “difficult” for some

YANBU. With the exception of genuinely good reasons, tardiness is plain rude.

Yes!!! How do they have the nerve?! A clear signal they had enough time to queue in Costa but not to get there on time. So cheeky! And rude!