To get irrationally irritated by waiting for latecomers when I’ve made the effort to be on time?

[Hazeby]

When you’re waiting for something to start, be it a work meeting or presentation or a school event….. “We’ll just give it ten more minutes for any latecomers and then we’ll start…”

NO!!

I may as well turn up ten minutes late myself plus how will these people learn to be on time unless it starts without them. Gives me the rage.

Our CEO is great for starting on time and always insists that the podium is near the door, he greets latecomers with a big show of thanks for joining, I've saved you a seat right at the front. Everyone is on time now.

I love that!

I’m going to start doing that!

(Not a CEO, a teacher and trainer)

Yep does my head in! I go to a toddler class and we end up waiting 15 minutes to start as there's so many latecomers coming in and only one lady who runs it, so she has to wait to tick them off the register and takes payment.

I completely get that toddlers can be a bit unpredictable and it's not always easy to get out of the house but out of a class of about 20 I would say at least 8 are continually late every single week then the class over runs by 10/15 minutes!

And just add there's never anybody rushing in they are just dawdling in with their Costa coffee chatting to their mates , no sense of urgency or apology for holding a class up for 10 minutes!

If I was late for a meeting, I'd be horrified if they'd waited for me.

One of my dc observed the other day when taxiing them to sixth form college that I always allow more time than it takes and subsequently they are usually a few minutes early. Well yes, that is just what is expected in most work/school commitments.

I understand it is a little different for social events - such as a dinner party but for a school event I would expect it to start on time with the odd parent slipping in at the back quietly if they are late having dashed over from work. Maybe they were waiting for a specific parent of a child who was on first, but even so it just gets disruptive to wait too long. People can't always be on time but when they are late then they need to accept that in the UK generally the default is that you aim to attend on time for organised events so it may start without them.

YANBU. I also hate the awkward chit chat with people I don't know well when waiting for latecomers to a Teams call. I've now started joining the call on time, turning my camera off and going mute and putting 'BRB' in chat. I then join in when most people have arrived.

Meh, I’m always late for things I don’t give a shiny shit about.
I’m on time for things that make it to my Very Important list but otherwise I am just naturally late. Not very late, but especially with work things usually up to 5 mins late.

I don’t expect anyone to wait though.

That gives me the rage too! I made the effort to be here on time but now you are going to waste my time by leaving me just sitting here so you can cater to people who are late!! 😡

I understand it is a little different for social events - such as a dinner party but for a school event I would expect it to start on time

For a dinner party I would expect people to be on time. If the invitation is '7.30 for 8.00', the host will have the food ready to begin serving at 8.00 and will want all guests seated by then. Being (avoidably) late is inconsiderate.

Drinks and a cold buffet is different, guests don't all have to eat at once and the food won't spoil.

YANBU. I ensure I get to things early. So when I've been sat there already for a while, it annoys me that the event/meeting doesn't start on time and I have to wait even more for stragglers to come in, and usually they show no urgency, i.e. sometimes we have training courses where if I get a window seat, I can see the car park, and there are people farting around tidying their boot/back seat, talking on the phone, etc., rather than actually getting to the course which should have already started, and then they just lazily stroll across the car park, before finally slovenly coming in to the room.

Yes, I know shit happens, and once or twice (in 40 years!) I've been late myself when there's been severe traffic congestion after a bad accident, but I'd never expect the meeting/course start to be delayed, and accept that by arriving late I'll have missed the start (and the best seats!).

Wow, what a great idea!

It's not irrational to be annoyed that everyone has to sit around because some people are late. I have it with clients quite often and I always love it when whatever person at the client IS on time decides we're not waiting for the late comers.

I completely agree with you OP. I have a clinic where I see between 8 - 13 people a day. Latecomers drive me mental. Even worse are the ones who arrive 15 mins late and who are then cross because I can't fit them in before the next appointment.

I don’t mind up to five minutes. That’s a small buffer for very minor delays. More than that is frustrating. I run a book group and always get interrupted by people letting me know someone has texted that they’re running late and can we wait for them, as well as others crashing in 30-40 minutes in. So annoying.

The worst was on a group day trip in Iceland a few years ago. There were all sorts of warnings to be at the bus station at x time. Turned out that was just to get everyone assembled on time - nothing actually was going to start for another half an hour, regardless of whether we were all there. Half an hour passed and the tour leader told us we were going to wait for a couple who were late. 40 minutes later they arrived and we finally departed. The whole day was rushed because of the late start. Infuriating.

I can't stand it. Its so rude. I make sure I leave more than enough time and have a kindle with me to read once I arrive at my destination if I am overly early.

I am super punctual, honestly it's one of my very few qualities.

I don't get pissed off by other people's approach though, I have no control over it. Some people are just late, at least it's relatively harmless. I can always find something to do to pass the time.

5 minutes leeway I don't usually mind but sometimes the waiting does take the biscuit. I had the first of a 5 week class booked in yesterday with my 3 year old. 30 minutes we waited for the last mum to turn up as she had rang to say she was lost... The kids there (luckily it was a very small class and only 4 of them) were running feral bored out of their minds at this point and when we started they didn't want to engage obviously and the rest of the session was massively rushed. It was a disaster. The leader had the nerve to say don't turn up too early next week as it's hard on the kids waiting...

I’d say ‘10 minutes? I’ll just get a coffee then’ etc and do just that, or whatever I want to for 10 mins. Then you get the benefit of being in time, getting a good seat, and not wasting 10 mins.

I’d say ‘10 minutes? I’ll just get a coffee then’ etc and do just that, or whatever I want to for 10 mins. Then you get the benefit of being in time, getting a good seat, and not wasting 10 mins.

but what happens at the end? Does the presenter stop at the advertised time, so there's no time for the Q&A, or she has to cut some of her material? Maybe she has to stop, if the room is wanted for another meeting, or there's another speaker waiting to present.

Or does she keep going, but the last ten minutes is disrupted by people creeping out because they need to be somewhere else, and they miss the conclusion of the presentation or the Q&A.

I completely agree! It's so frustrating to be on time only to have to wait for latecomers before the thing can start. There's a definite arrogance to it I think - people who give no thought to inconveniencing others.

I’m consistently late for a weekly yoga class at the moment. Because I value my time working up to the second and don’t mind missing the lame relaxing bit at the beginning. I do acknowledge it’s rude to the teacher and perhaps the other people in the class (although I do try to sneak in very quietly) and def do not want or expect the class to wait for me. To me that 5 mins working is a better use of my time.

Yanbu!

I'm a self employed tutor and have to be really assertive about time keeping other than for genuinely unavoidable emergencies.

I don't extend lessons if a student turns up late and if parents pick up late more than very occasionally for a genuine reason I threaten to move all their lessons to online. It's always the sane parents who are the issue and it's always 'circumstances completely out of their control' until they realise what the consequences will be.

In my opinion, traffic, running late, getting lost, being on the phone, forgetting the time, losing track of time etc etc are really not unavoidable or beyond someone's control (excepting SEN).

They barely apologize and will do it over and over if I let them.

Funnily enough, when they realise they've had a shorter lesson, or I might stop offering face to face sessions for them, they stop having these 'circumstances' and start to show a little respect for other people's time.

I completely agree! It's so frustrating to be on time only to have to wait for latecomers before the thing can start. There's a definite arrogance to it I think - people who give no thought to inconveniencing others.

Starting on time only inconveniences the latecomers. Waiting for latecomers inconveniences everyone else.

I had a wonderful lecturer, who, far from waiting upon latecomers, would start the lecture on time, and when they wandered in, would stop it, to tell them to turn around and leave, and next time be on time. Dear Professor Finn. . .

By the end of the second week, everyone had got the message - be on time or don't come at all.