Hi OP, sorry to hear you are struggling. Your job certainly sounds very full on, is there any scope for that to change at all to achieve a better work/life balance? Are there any jobs closer to home, less hours etc
With regards to the chores you are doing, it does seems that there is some room for change and removing the burden from a Sunday. It was mentioned that you are cleaning up after dinner every evening (presumably doing dishes, emptying the bin, wipe down kitchen etc) during the week and you also have a cleaner doing the full house clean every other week, what else is there to clean on a Sunday? I don’t know anyone who cleans out their car every week, is there a reason this is necessary or could it be cut down to once a month or even less?
A few simple changes as suggestions:
Keep on top of cleaning the kitchen after dinner as you are doing, make your own lunch and 14 YO makes theirs
Keep your cleaner every other week
Keep on top of life admin before work as you are doing
Put a load of laundry in before work a few days a week and ask 14 YO to hang it up/put it in the dryer after school. Ask the cleaner to change the beds every other week (get a spare set of bedding so it’s ready for them to put on)
Get food/household items delivered and put away Sunday morning. Put 2 slow cookers on eg one with Bolognese and one with a Curry. That’s dinner sorted for Mon-Thurs (apart from having to clean the slow cookers on Sunday evening and the. quickly reheating the meal in a microwave during the week). Fri dinner can be something really quick such as oven pizza (pitta pizzas if want to be healthier - they take 2 mins to make or try Crosta Mollica brand). Then spend an hour sorting clean clothes and doing some ironing whilst listening to music/podcast/watching tv. Ask your 14 YO to do own ironing from now on and get their stuff ready for the school week ahead. Then once a month clean out the car. You could also split these chores across Sat/Sun but even if you don’t you’re looking at a max of 2 hours on a Sunday morning to get everything prepared for the week ahead.
Spend the rest of the day filling up your cup! A hobby, a sport, a cosy day at home reading/binge watching tv, meet friends, see family, go for a walk/coffee/shopping/movie/museum/theatre or have a pamper day etc etc. Get out there and meet new people, date if you want to etc etc. Do SOMETHING that makes you happy. You really do have the power to design the day YOU want.