Page 5 | Anyone else hate sundays?

tearsandtiaras · 2024-07-14T17:01:55+00:00

I find Sundays so hard- lone parent work full time in very demanding job Sunday is 8 hours plus of non stop chores, prep for the week. Everywhere ( parks, woods, shops, etc ) is filled with families / Couples enjoying each others company. I push on and crack on, try not to look and ignore the crippling loneliness. Try to look away and count blessings. I cry every sunday at least once. I am desperately lonely. There is zero capacity to see anyone with the list of relentless chores. I know i should be grateful for what i have. Does anyone have any tips for the crippling loneliness?

llamajohn · 14/07/2024 21:04

tearsandtiaras · 14/07/2024 18:27

I only iron my DD school uniform and my work clothes. I do as minimal cleaning as possible

Good lord, get the 14 year old to iron the clothes at the very least!!

Original poster

tearsandtiaras · 14/07/2024 21:09

kitsuneghost · 14/07/2024 21:03

Shop on a weeknight after work (I do this)
14 year old can make her own lunches
Do not iron at all
Split the cleaning over other days
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and find a class or something on Sunday
A 14 year old doesn't need parented.

Please read the full thread before commenting.

Thanks for your comment about feeling sorry for myself. Love your empathy. Thanks for kicking someone when they are down.
If you read the thread you would know i am very busy meeting responsibilitys and do not have time or £ tbh for a sunday club

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FoxRedPuppy · 14/07/2024 21:26

I have a 14 yr old and a 12 year old and a lone parent. I work full time, although I am able to wfh for a few days. I love Sundays. My son has the same lunch every day, and I make it just before bed at 10pm. I make tea, and chill with them. My son does his homework, I play no part in that, except to remind him.

one dc is autistic and their bedtime takes a few hours but even then I don’t feel like I have no time. I reckon you have very high standards of cleaning, well more than me. I don’t iron, not even school uniform. Life is too short.

Runnerinthenight · 14/07/2024 21:37

piloqeula · 14/07/2024 20:45

@Runnerinthenight if she has a son as well and there are 2+, yes it changes the thread somewhat, especially if younger than the 14 noted.

My impression was there is one DC, aged 14, and the sex doesn't make a difference.

Runnerinthenight · 14/07/2024 21:39

MintyCedric · 14/07/2024 20:49

I’m guessing these people saying ‘14yo…really?’ don’t have chatty teenage daughters.

Mine’s nearly 20…she’s been home from her first year at uni for 6 weeks and it’s lovely having her around but I’m ‘on’ all day at work, then come home and have to be ‘on’ for her as she wants/needs to chat (she’s had some stuff going on over the last few weeks).

So on top of the practical stuff and general mental load there’s the mental/emotional depletion of that, plus the difference in what we prioritise housework wise and never been able to leave the house and know what I’m coming back to (it’s often my mess tbf but at least I know and I’m expecting it!)

Fortunately I’m a raging introvert and have lots of online friendships so I don’t struggle with loneliness but I totally get the overwhelm and relentless of it all.

I had two of them! Get them to help out and chat while you're doing it!

CeruleanDive · 14/07/2024 23:00

TammyJones · 14/07/2024 21:01

Eh?

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OP is really struggling. She asked if anyone else finds Sundays awful or has any tips to cope with the “crippling loneliness” she feels. You replied with a breakdown of your stress-free, perfect day. Can you not see how lacking in empathy that is?

JustKeepSwimmingJust · 15/07/2024 01:13

DS is at his dad’s on Sunday. Every week I have a positive plan about how I’m going to go to the gym and progress a craft project. And every week I struggle to make myself move to do basics like load the dishwasher and eat a batch cooked meal. Let alone prep for the week ahead.

I’m with you OP.

Crazycatlady79 · 15/07/2024 01:48

This sounds insane: you have one teenage child, who's 14. I thought you were going to say you were a solo parent of multiple primary aged children.
I'm sorry that things feel tough, but it sounds as though you're making things unnecessarily tough on yourself.

Original poster

tearsandtiaras · 15/07/2024 06:10

Crazycatlady79 · 15/07/2024 01:48

This sounds insane: you have one teenage child, who's 14. I thought you were going to say you were a solo parent of multiple primary aged children.
I'm sorry that things feel tough, but it sounds as though you're making things unnecessarily tough on yourself.

Please read the full thread . This is insulting and rude

OP posts:

malificent7 · 15/07/2024 06:19

How about making it a chill out day at home or walk in the countryside day?
Are you ready to start dating? This may help with loneliness.

KaToby · 15/07/2024 06:46

tearsandtiaras · 15/07/2024 06:10

Please read the full thread . This is insulting and rude

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It really isn’t insulting and rude, you just don’t seem to be listening to anyone that offers suggestions of how to make things easier for yourself.
Why can’t your 14 year old make her own lunch? Why does dinner take ages when you spend Sunday batch cooking? They are valid questions that you don’t seem to want to answer.

I am a working, single parent of 3 and have a clean and tidy house without spending all day Sundays doing chores, people are trying to
help you.

llamajohn · 15/07/2024 07:30

I don't see how you're spending 8 hours doing jobs on a Sunday.

I mean, WHAT are you doing for 8 hours?

You can give your daughter some responsibility for things. Like...she has to do the laundry and the ironing.
She can also help keep the house clean and tidy.

hammering · 15/07/2024 07:32

Parenting takes up my evening, picking up from clubs, dinner and organising lunch for the next day

I don't understand how much "parenting" a 14 year old needs. Yes you have to pick her up from clubs, but surely she can help with dinner/make her own packed lunch?

HereComesEverybody · 15/07/2024 08:10

I think what people are trying to do is suggest ways you could reorganise your weekdays/ weekends to maximise having some time for yourself.

I work full time & have a teen too though I also have a dh so in that regard we differ. We have no family closer than a 3 hour drive & never have since having our dc.

Do you travel by bus / train for your commute? Is there scope to use that time for life admin? Or online grocery shopping etc?

Your work / life balance seems off kilter. If you're getting home at 7pm & in bed by 9.15 + you're often working again during this time it's no wonder you're struggling to get things done.

Unfortunately the only person who can make any changes to your set up is you. Do you think you could aim to spend 1 Sunday a month purely doing something fun for your & dd. Pack a picnic & head away off for the day / afternoon. Visit a museum, a lake, a nearby town, a forest, a beach, an art gallery, a movie etc etc

It's really important to try to enjoy life as we just don't know what's around the corner for any of us & life is short & precious. I know all the responsibilities are on your shoulders and it's a lot but you're also a person & we need more than the drudge of work to really live. And you want to have these memories of fun times with your dc.

watchuswreckthemic · 15/07/2024 16:08

I suspect it's the mental burden which adds to the overwhelm.
If it isn't an option to change any aspect of your job including the commute I'd be scaling back on things so you prioritise your health and wellbeing.
You can't pour from an empty cup!
Are your cleaning standards super high as you are out of the house so much and have a cleaner so I'm quite surprised how many hours you spend.

Original poster

tearsandtiaras · 15/07/2024 19:03

llamajohn · 15/07/2024 07:30

I don't see how you're spending 8 hours doing jobs on a Sunday.

I mean, WHAT are you doing for 8 hours?

You can give your daughter some responsibility for things. Like...she has to do the laundry and the ironing.
She can also help keep the house clean and tidy.

Cleaning, driving to lidl, shopping, batch cooking , 3 loads of washing, sheets, clean out car. Ironing.

OP posts:

Original poster

tearsandtiaras · 15/07/2024 19:04

HereComesEverybody · 15/07/2024 08:10

I think what people are trying to do is suggest ways you could reorganise your weekdays/ weekends to maximise having some time for yourself.

I work full time & have a teen too though I also have a dh so in that regard we differ. We have no family closer than a 3 hour drive & never have since having our dc.

Do you travel by bus / train for your commute? Is there scope to use that time for life admin? Or online grocery shopping etc?

Your work / life balance seems off kilter. If you're getting home at 7pm & in bed by 9.15 + you're often working again during this time it's no wonder you're struggling to get things done.

Unfortunately the only person who can make any changes to your set up is you. Do you think you could aim to spend 1 Sunday a month purely doing something fun for your & dd. Pack a picnic & head away off for the day / afternoon. Visit a museum, a lake, a nearby town, a forest, a beach, an art gallery, a movie etc etc

It's really important to try to enjoy life as we just don't know what's around the corner for any of us & life is short & precious. I know all the responsibilities are on your shoulders and it's a lot but you're also a person & we need more than the drudge of work to really live. And you want to have these memories of fun times with your dc.

Work is definitely out of kilter but our case loads are high and pressure is high

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Original poster

tearsandtiaras · 15/07/2024 19:05

watchuswreckthemic · 15/07/2024 16:08

I suspect it's the mental burden which adds to the overwhelm.
If it isn't an option to change any aspect of your job including the commute I'd be scaling back on things so you prioritise your health and wellbeing.
You can't pour from an empty cup!
Are your cleaning standards super high as you are out of the house so much and have a cleaner so I'm quite surprised how many hours you spend.

I agree it is the mental burden plus seeing others enjoy their lives

OP posts:

Original poster

tearsandtiaras · 15/07/2024 19:05

HereComesEverybody · 15/07/2024 08:10

I think what people are trying to do is suggest ways you could reorganise your weekdays/ weekends to maximise having some time for yourself.

I work full time & have a teen too though I also have a dh so in that regard we differ. We have no family closer than a 3 hour drive & never have since having our dc.

Do you travel by bus / train for your commute? Is there scope to use that time for life admin? Or online grocery shopping etc?

Your work / life balance seems off kilter. If you're getting home at 7pm & in bed by 9.15 + you're often working again during this time it's no wonder you're struggling to get things done.

Unfortunately the only person who can make any changes to your set up is you. Do you think you could aim to spend 1 Sunday a month purely doing something fun for your & dd. Pack a picnic & head away off for the day / afternoon. Visit a museum, a lake, a nearby town, a forest, a beach, an art gallery, a movie etc etc

It's really important to try to enjoy life as we just don't know what's around the corner for any of us & life is short & precious. I know all the responsibilities are on your shoulders and it's a lot but you're also a person & we need more than the drudge of work to really live. And you want to have these memories of fun times with your dc.

I drive in rush hour first gear traffic in london for an hour sometimes
More both ways

OP posts:

Original poster

tearsandtiaras · 15/07/2024 19:08

Katoby
My dd does make her own lunch. Please read the thread as requested.

As you have a job and 3 children please specify your hours and secrets .

Are you suggesting you have
Got it cracked where as I haven't?

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Original poster

tearsandtiaras · 15/07/2024 19:09

Dinner takes an hour to cook eat and wash up. Is that really such a long time?!!!!

OP posts:

llamajohn · 15/07/2024 19:26

tearsandtiaras · 15/07/2024 19:03

Cleaning, driving to lidl, shopping, batch cooking , 3 loads of washing, sheets, clean out car. Ironing.

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Again...how is that taking 8 hours?

3 x loads of washing? One laid of washing is done during the weekly shop surely? So that's hardly a bother. So the washing "admin" takes , what 45 minutes max, loading and unloading.
Why can't DD put a load on during the week?

Cleaning? How much cleaning are you doing?

What are you doing on Saturdays? Missed that.

llamajohn · 15/07/2024 19:29

tearsandtiaras · 15/07/2024 19:09

Dinner takes an hour to cook eat and wash up. Is that really such a long time?!!!!

Well, yeah, an hour is a long time really if you're time poor... What are you cooking?

And besides, you can get DD to was, dry and out away save yourself 15 minutes.

Original poster

tearsandtiaras · 15/07/2024 19:58

Saturday i take dd to the gym, work a few hours then take her to a club

OP posts:

llamajohn · 15/07/2024 20:03

Get a different job that does require you to travel so far away and work at the weekends 🤷‍♀️