to ask if you've achieved the nirvana of not wanting to buy stuff you REALLY don't want

[ClownsFear]

I have really want to buy all of the jellycat fruit and vegetables (these kind of things

https://www.gracegentle.co.uk/collections/jellycat-fruit-vegetables )

and display them in a massive basket. I really want them.

I don't need them and I don't really truly want them. If I bought them I'd waste a huge amount of money. I'd be happy for about a week and then I would just become stressed out by the amount of dust they are collecting.

I frequently feel like this about stuff - not just stuffed toys, but random stationery, ornaments, strange furniture and often stuff posted randomly on MN. For example I saw recently a table shaped like a burger not this but a bit like this:

www.amazon.com/TAUODUYY-Decorative-Modelling-Material-Changing/dp/B0CL2CQTNS

I really wanted to buy it but same thing - know I don't really want it and it would just end up annoying.

I would have hoped by now I'd have grown out of this desire for junk stuff. I think it must be peak adult to not have this.

I suppose I'm better as I tend to resist but I want to rid myself of the urge to buy utter crapulous stuff I don't need.

How do you attain this state?

I rarely buy things that are purely ornamental. Books, pictures, mugs, coasters, bookmarks, tealight holders yes.

Moving house - I'm doing it again I hope in the next year

Getting a dog - instead of having time to wander around shopping centres, I spent my days off work with the dog

I also have always had a cleaner - cleaners don't like clutter or work as efficiently in a cluttered house

I feel much more peaceful with space and clear surfaces

I really dislike full cupboards or wardrobes. It makes it much more difficult to see what you actually have

I wear a limited range of colours generally so that helps reduce clothes shopping

I'm retiring next week and really looking forward to taking a load of stuff I only ever wear to work to the charity shops

@DoorOpening

Overall, when I am tempted to buy stuff I don’t need (my weakness is clothes, usually trousers!), I get a voice in my head saying “what sadness/trouble in uour life are you trying to ease with all this stuff?” And I just close the website and go and do something else.

This is very interesting and I think in my case spot on. It's like a form of comfort eating I think.
now I reflect more, a lot of this stuff that I think I want is a child-like want in some way or another - cute things that you would have had as a child.

I suspect I am seeking the safety of the comfort of childhood. Like a hug from a teddy or a jellycat brocolli!

I like the tip about think of collecting money.

I used to be like this. Now that I have a little disposable income, I find I don't spend it.

Yes.

We don't stint ourselves have, if we need new stuff we research it to make sure we get the best thing for the right price (just bought a new pressure washer!) but we don't impulse buy crap like furry vegetables, no.

We have got to the age when we don't really want anything we don't already have, Christmas and birthdays are a nightmare.

With something pointless but cutesy like the vegetables, I'd try to figure out why I'm drawn to it. Leave it a few weeks and if the idea of owning something with cute vegetables with eyes on is still making me feel happy, I'll have a look at whether I can find a more useful and practical version of it, which fits in with something I'm needing to replace anyway. Socks, PJs, T-shirts, mugs are all good examples as they're things you're using everyday so tend to need replacing often. I go through socks pretty quickly, so keep a few pairs of bog standard plain ones, but also have a nice collection of colourful, quirky ones I can indulge my inner child and enjoy wearing around the house on my days off.

Same for me. Nothing like clearing out someone else's lifetime of collections to make you reconsider your own, and your spending habits.

I've spent 2 years chipping away at my own stuff - anything I buy now has to be to replace my own stuff if it's broken, or really significant. Eg new pans because the set I had was a wedding present 20 years ago and the bottom of 2 pans are bowed - remembering to get rid of the whole set, bin the broken ones and recycle the others. Kitchen trays replacing rust and bent ones with good quality ones that will last. No fast fashion, or cheap shoes. No holiday souvenir tat. No trendy house decor shite that will only be popular for a year or two.

I don't want to burden my kids with the emotional job of clearing out my crap once I'm gone. I'm doing them a favour and feeling better about my space and my finances too.

Several things have contributed to me not buying as much stuff. Clearing out my parent’s house was daunting as there were cabinets full of ornaments and wardrobes full of clothes my mum never wore lead me to be more disciplined in what I bought.
We downsized and again got rid of lots of items that we didn’t use and clothes I didn’t wear, I also stopped buying clothes from the supermarket, not particularly for any moral reasons but because it was too easy to add something to the trolley every week.
The final thing was volunteering in a charity shop and seeing the sheer amount of stuff donated. I also find when I get wants if I wait long enough I can buy something that fulfills that want fo buy from the charity shop.
I also find not actively shopping online or in person reduces the wants.

Life is short. If you like it, can afford it then buy it. Enjoy!!

You might appreciate this OP. DS got me it from Japan. (I'm a big fan of rilakkuma). Never ever go there! The shopping for this kind of stuff is unreal.

What stops me buying tat here is saving money to go and buy tat there instead 😂

My view is that it gives me pleasure. I'm a maximalist anyway so getting stuff for the house is a hobby. I don't see the harm. If I can afford something and want it, I get it. I have improved in that I do put more thought into things now. But I don't spend on other things, like clothes or beauty products, whatever. So I see it that I'm entitled to spend some money on myself.

This is going to sound pants but I have a window shopping folder, and I keep photos of the stuff I want in it instead of buying them.

I do that with our loft and storage. I force myself to bring one item down for disposal every time I put something new in there.

Also try to do it with clothes but that's more of a necessity as we don't have much storage space in the small wardrobes and drawer units, so usually there's no room to put anything new away until we create some space by removing something and then putting it in a charity bag.

I look at things and think they are nice then I imagine how much time I would spend cleaning them, moving them out of the way to clean underneath. Then I think of them getting old and tatty and I keep my money in my purse.

Love this - made me laugh

Just remember that what comes in, must one day go out. So at some point you’re going to have to chuck it, donate it, sell it, or your kids are going to have to do the same if you’ve gone.

I have a Pinterest account for this purpose.

Same here

Re Jellycat, I never put up Christmas decorations- not even a tree. (I cut holly, ivy and evergreens from the garden instead)

Can't stand Christmas tat but fell in love last year with Jellycat Christmas cake, mince pie, Christmas pud, poinsetta and wrapped present. A friend gave me a mini Jellycat Christmas tree. They're adorable. They sat on bookcases/ shelves/desk over Christmas. They made us laugh with their little faces and smiles. They will reappear every Christmas.

The Jellycat poinsetta was left out on display permanently. Obviously it's outlasted every other "born to die" Christmas poinsetta.

@DancingLions

You might appreciate this OP. DS got me it from Japan. (I'm a big fan of rilakkuma). Never ever go there! The shopping for this kind of stuff is unreal.o

Yes I'm familiar with Japanese stationery and sense I should not go. It's like the mother ship is calling.

I've never heard of rilakkuma but googled it and found out it means "bear in relaxed mood' which is the best name for a character of all time. I wish I could be a bear in relaxed mood!!!

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle I think this is what will happen to me. Start with one and end up with a small set.

We call ornaments and other stuff that has no purpose beyond looking pretty
Dust Gatherers

I also look at my hourly rate of pay.
Not what a company says I earn but what I actually earn after paying tax, NI and expenses like commute costs and what clothes I have to wear.
Once you then add up the cost of the item + time spent on cleaning the item, + cleaning products and work out how many hours and minutes of your life you are going to spend on this item and the cost of those hours and minutes compared to your salary it should put you off buying them in the first place

This type of thing only ends up in landfill eventually

That burger table is the most hideous thing I have ever seen.
I have nearly cured myself of this but not quite. Every so often I see something I want, I have trained myself to stop and think for a bit. My Current "want" is a pineapple shaped laundry basket.

Agreed. But my small set gave us lots of pleasure last Christmas and will do so for years. I think a small box of Jellycat veg in a kitchen will do the same.

There's a balance to be struck between buying "pointless" in the sense of functionless things just because they are pretty and make you smile (which is a point anyway) but not getting carried away and the, frankly, to my mind the dreary, utilitarianism of not allowing "dust catchers" in your home.

OP my husband bought me this when we were on holiday in Amsterdam. I use it a lot if I'm out but just need keys, card and phone.

I love the sound of your Jellycat Christmas stuff. To me that isn't a waste of money and definitely isn't tat. I move too much to have lots of stuff. I find cute earrings satisfy my cravings and are easy to move from place to place.

Link to Otto Jellycat bag

https://jellycat.com/otto-sausage-dog-bag/