to ask if you've achieved the nirvana of not wanting to buy stuff you REALLY don't want

[ClownsFear]

I have really want to buy all of the jellycat fruit and vegetables (these kind of things

https://www.gracegentle.co.uk/collections/jellycat-fruit-vegetables )

and display them in a massive basket. I really want them.

I don't need them and I don't really truly want them. If I bought them I'd waste a huge amount of money. I'd be happy for about a week and then I would just become stressed out by the amount of dust they are collecting.

I frequently feel like this about stuff - not just stuffed toys, but random stationery, ornaments, strange furniture and often stuff posted randomly on MN. For example I saw recently a table shaped like a burger not this but a bit like this:

www.amazon.com/TAUODUYY-Decorative-Modelling-Material-Changing/dp/B0CL2CQTNS

I really wanted to buy it but same thing - know I don't really want it and it would just end up annoying.

I would have hoped by now I'd have grown out of this desire for junk stuff. I think it must be peak adult to not have this.

I suppose I'm better as I tend to resist but I want to rid myself of the urge to buy utter crapulous stuff I don't need.

How do you attain this state?

Her books are a much better deal

I was talking to the person who is a maker! What you are talking about making is definitely not useful.

I have a clothes hoarding issue. I buy at least 5 new clothes items every month. Minimum. I’ve got huge storage bags of clothes. I haven’t worn 90% of them.

Have you tried counselling? Would presumably be cheaper than the shopping and would definitely take up less space!

Hoarding is very hard to tackle so it maybe that you have already tried.

This is the kind of thing I'm talking about.

Look at this

https://iwakousa.com/collections/iwako-eraser-sets/products/383591-bathroom-eraser-card-1-card

This is a Gorilla in a Bathroom japanese eraser set. I think it's really funny. I want it

I don't really want it . the rubbers are tiny. you can't really use them and if you did you'd just have half a bathroom and half a gorilla.

but how cute and how cute.

I've not bought it though and won't do. but maaan I want to.

I barely spend money on anything material object wise anyway - if I do need something it is mainly second hand and I wear clothes until they are falling apart. I do spend money on doing things with my friends and family as material stuff doesn't mean much to me.

Unfortunately I have a husband who spends a lot on complete crap 😂

My niece and I are obsessed with the Muppet Christmas Carol. They brought a 'live orchestra' screening to a theatre near us and I bought us tickets as a treat.

On the way there I saw the jellycat vegetables in a shop window and dashed in to buy four of them. We held them up in the dress circle and sang along and it was worth every silly penny.

A tip my mum once gave me when I spliting up with someone and they didn't want me to take an ornament was to take a picture of it. So that's what I did and it's there if I need it, but I haven't looked at it since and don't miss the ornament.

I do like pretty things, but I'm of the mindset now it needs a practical use more than anything, otherwise it will just gather dust. I just can't be arsed with it all now and the COL crisis and having to spend much more on rent, fuel and food has put me of buying stuff i dont need, and I think thats the case for a lot of people. A lot of younger kids don't seems to care much about 'stuff' and appearances now either. I just think it is a sign of the times. People are either too busy, too wise to advertising, too broke or very conscious of environmental issues to care about materialism anymore.

i think it’s a muscle OP. Some of us need to work harder than others on it - unfortunately!

It is absolutely ok to realise that’s cute/funny/adorable but I’m not buying it. The more you do that the easier it gets. It sounds like you’re pretty comfortable with this already which is great.

I found great success in our family by simply not exposing ourselves to stuff to buy. The kids ‘I wants’ dropped off a LOT during covid when we couldn’t actually go to the shops. They didn’t see it therefore they didn’t want it.

That can be a helpful strategy for you if you want to avoid the FOMO feeling. Work out the temptations then avoid them.

Another helpful strategy can be saving up for something you do really want (holiday, new jewellery etc). Then you can tell yourself it’s cute/funny etc but it will get in the way of your goals for xyz and it helps diminish the items importance in your mind.

My impossible-to-buy-for friend may be getting some of these for Christmas, thank you!

Maybe you need to find something to do with your time? I know that sounds patronising but all the things you are saying you want to buy are completely pointless. Just a waste of your money, your space and the planet's resources.

If you like smal things, you could get into making small models or something - not loads of simple things or kits, but really making something of value.

By the way, Tiger sell very similar lemons and blueberries as doorstops but without the faces on. For half the price.

I’ve really stepped away from material things. Still have all the basics and I enjoy seeing what other people buy and watch a lot of styling tutorials but I rarely buy anything for my home like nick nacks or decorative bits.

It just feels like a massive waste of money and I hate clutter. Those jelly cat things are really cute I agree but they serve no real purpose other than nice to look at - which in itself is fine, we should enjoy things that make us happy but when you know it’ll only make you feel happy for the short term then the happiness is not real, it’s just a dopamine hit.

I really try to not buy into consumerism and mass production, I’m trying to be more sustainable as throwing stuff away makes me feel awful.

I don’t really know how I got there, perhaps just being over run from kids crap all the time I just want clean empty space 🤣

I'm not buying any more ornaments or little cute things. I still buy the odd picture for the walls as I can look at them all the time and they don't take up room.

There’s a lady who does YouTube videos of the Lidl and Aldi middle aisle every week. I watch these think that’s nice /useful and then not feel the need to buy it

I don't really want to buy stuff like that, my issue is more clothes/jewellery/watches.

I really wish I could find a way to minimalist Nirvana. I tried Mari Kondo, nice idea but it hasn't fully worked!

The Aisle of Shite we call it 😂

when you know it’ll only make you feel happy for the short term then the happiness is not real, it’s just a dopamine hit This is the key bit of understanding, which is the first step to changing it.

I am the total polar opposite to you all of that stuff just looks like shite and I cannot fathom anything more pointless.
The only thing I ever want as a gift if it's practical, edible or something fun to do. I have nothing in my house that isn't any one of those things apart from pictures and books.
I find it very hard to buy presents for people that like shit because I don't understand the rules!

A burglary cured me.
Not because off the stuff that was stolen, but the reality (and the enduring image) of someone sifting through the piles of tat hiding away at the back of the cupboards.
If I only possessed items that were actually useful/important to me, that scum of a person wouldn't even be able to make a mess by shaking out the drawers.

All the shite strewn around everywhere as it was, made me clear out and keep it out.

Could you buy some felt and have a go at making some?

A whole basket of Jellycat fruit would be lovely. I've been coveting their bog roll for a while. I'm not a fan of clutter but I think people should have things purely because they like them, just not too much stuff. We moved after 25 years and then moved again 2 years later so I'm quite capable of binning or donating but I like to have a few things simply because they give me pleasure

Same. I have minimal "stuff" in my house. Never tempted to buy anything like this. My money goes on food, and holidays. 🤣

All the stuff you have posted is baffling to me. I hate trinkets and tchotchkes. Don't even have many clothes. All my money goes on days out.

Beautiful notebooks and mugs are my weakness so I don’t go into shops that sell them anymore