Aibu to want to go home

[geekygirldoesnotfitin]

Hi

A friend of mine asked me to go on holiday with her and a few of her friends. I don't know these friends but she begged me saying she really wanted me there. I agreed and paid for my trip.

When I turned up to the airport there were two different groups of her friends. Neither group really know each other but both groups are close friends.

That's fine. I only know my friend who asked me to come but was happy to get to know others.

Since we arrived I have chatted and asked about each person and got on with the holiday. Some of the friends have chatted here and there.

My friend has tended to stick with one group in particular and I haven't had much chance to spend time with her. Again fine with me normal as I don't expect to me joined at the hip.

It's become very obvious that I'm the odd one out. For whatever reason people don't seem to want to engage with me. I have reflected to make sure I haven't said or done anything to hurt or upset anyone and I honestly don't think I have.

Initially it was just them chatting amongst themselves but now they are actively avoiding me.

For eg they were all in the pool chatting so I got in and they got out. When I got out a few minutes later they all got back in.
During conversations I chip in and get ignored. I try to repeat myself but give up joining in as it's obvious I'm an annoyance.
Both groups decided to go to the bar and asked each individual but missed me out.
I'm a bit quieter than most but I do chat and show an interest.

Yesterday I became very unwell unexpectedly and had to lay down in my room for the afternoon. This morning the groups had made plans and I tagged along with one. I ended up walking behind alone as they were walking next to each other and there was no room unless I stepped in the road. When I came down this morning after being in my room poorly no one said hello but when someone else came just after they made a big fuss and had already messaged the person to check they were ok.

I'm a big girl and can accept that people don't like me or don't want me around but it seems the more I go do my own thing the more they are annoyed when I return.

I feel quite alone and confused.

I'm the only one here who is a mum with young dc. I miss my dc and feel like I should try get a flight home early on my own. If I was able to be involved and felt welcome that would be fine but I just can't seem to do the right thing and I'm starting to feel self conscious and a bit upset.

I have a few days left and I'm not sure what to do for the best.

They are all adults, very immature tbh. If you did somehow upset one of them, why just say it. Jeez, you are not a mind reader.
So, yeah, take yourself off to do your own thing for the next few days. Don’t be surprised if one or other of them start talking to you on the last day.

How old are they? 15?

Thanks for the update OP. I am pleased you managed to get an early flight and that you are outta there! What a bunch of horrible women! Hope you have a good journey and enjoy time before going back to work ... make sure you go out for nice treat with DC and forget those bitches!

Have you asked the person who asked you to go, why people are ignoring you. I would. Then once I got on the plane, I would have nothing to do with any of them again. They seem a nasty bunch of women.

You come over as lovely OP - a sensitive and thoughtful person. I do hope you are able to put this to rest and not let their appalling behaviour impact too hard on you.
It's them not you.

Good decision they sound immature and toxic I hope you just left no goodbye
Wonder if so called friend will contact you!

I certainly do not consider your ‘friend’ a true friend. It looks to me like she doesn’t really like you but persuaded you to come as maybe someone dropped out and they needed someone to make up the money. I’d get a flight back home now and don’t speak to your ‘friend’ again. By the way I’m sure you’re a lovely person so try not to be too disheartened. xx

👆

This makes me so sad because of the time, effort and money you wasted for these people.

I'm pleased you're home with your family and hopefully happy again.

For what it's worth even the fact you're analysing yourself and your behaviour shows you're more self aware than they are. To make zero effort with someone on their own is really shitty even if none of them specifically invited you they are human beings and so are you.

I’m so sorry that you have had to go through this. I’m not sure what kind of friend does this to someone.
Ig the cost isn’t too high, I would leave xx

Ok you’re not their type of person and they’ve made it obvious.
What you could do is go and enjoy your holiday as a reset. Go get some spa treatments, enjoy a lovely meal uninterrupted. Sod them, you didn’t need them before your holiday and you do not need the ignorant so an so’s now.

Your friend is not really a great friend, if they make plans say you can’t go because you weren’t involved in the discussion and have arranged your own venture.
DO NOT LET THEM RUIN YOUR TIME. If your friend approaches you about it, simply lay out what you’ve said to us. What have you got to lose.
hoping this helps and you don’t feel too rubbish about it all. Xxx

One of the women was ill and some of the others were being awful about her and were laughing at her. I found her back in the hotel to ask if she was ok. She was but just needed to lie down. I took her back to her room as the others had left.

You are infinitely better than all of these women put together, OP.

So sorry you are going through this. I have been through similar on more than one occasion. One holiday and other group meet ups.
God knows what goes through these grown women’s heads. I never forgave any of my so called friends who did this.

Very glad you're on your way home. I hope you actually end up feeling very powerful - you don't have to stay or do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable like that - you're a grown up and you can just leave. Well done.

So sorry that you have had this awful experience x

Safe travels home @geekygirldoesnotfitin !

For what it’s worth, I think you are doing the right thin coming home early. Time off work and away from family has got to be worth it and enjoyable.

Your friend who invited you is no friend. As the person who knows both groups and you she should have made sure you felt comfortable and part of things especially as she I cited you and you know only her. What a disgraceful way to treat another person. She has shown her true colours. Dump her would be my advice.

Enjoy relaxing at home

This is good advice!

Group behaviour can be so ugly. As soon as someone got ill, they turned on her. No doubt there will have been lots of other tensions within the groups that you weren't aware of too, OP. You have done the right thing in taking yourself out of the whole shoddy situation - impressive from you all round. From your posts, the girl who invited you has lost a good friend in you.

Glad you've escaped OP and hope you manage a rest once home. You sound lovely and deserve better than this so called "friend".

If it were me I'd have ghosted them, moved hotels or got a flight home without a word. And waited to see if they noticed, or panic when they were a person short for the bus back to the airport. I'd certainly be ignoring the friend that invited me and left me in that position. She's certainly no friend to let you, or anyone be treated the way you were. I don't know what is wrong with some women once they are in a big group, just horrid behaviour.

How horrible of them & your 'friend'. Glad you're on your way home!

Ironic how they turned on that other woman (who was a part of the pack and got served her own medicine).

They sound like absolute bitches, OP. It was lovely of you to look after the other lady. Did you tell your friend how you felt? I hope it will feel really special to be home.

What thoroughly unpleasant women they are. You are so much better than this and I'm glad you are on your way home to people who love and value you. ❤️

I would just go off on my own and see what happens. It's not worth trying to get a flight as it will probably be expensive. Just don't contact that friend again ever when home.

So sorry they were so mean, just horrible.

Get home and enjoy your own space and don't stay in touch with this 'so-called friend'. You are better than them. XXXXXX