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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave baby crying if…

110 replies

Apppron · 13/07/2024 06:52

It’s before 7am and you’ve gone in to settle a few times but they won’t stop? Not needing anything, just wanting to get up. They’re 21 months. I’ve left to cry for ten mins and they did eventually stop but now I’m wondering if that was wrong?

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 13/07/2024 06:53

Maybe they’re hungry?

Overthebow · 13/07/2024 06:53

No, if they’re wanting to get up why wouldn’t you get them up?

Original poster
Apppron · 13/07/2024 06:53

@BrutusMcDogface its not hunger. I thought that too

OP posts:
Sirzy · 13/07/2024 06:53

Well personally I wouldn’t want to teach my child if they are upset they will be ignored.

Allegra82 · 13/07/2024 06:54

It’s pretty normal for a toddler to want to start their day before 7am.

rwalker · 13/07/2024 06:54

7 isn’t that early and also is it light in the room

what about your neighbours?

5475878237NC · 13/07/2024 06:54

Well I would not do this because babies can't tell the time. I think it's cruel. I just get up. Something is wrong - they're sad and confused about why you are ignoring their needs but presumably wouldn't later in the day. It must be so confusing and therefore distressing to be responded to sometimes and ignored others.

Original poster
Apppron · 13/07/2024 06:54

@Sirzy at what point do you stop going in though? I did try and re settle a few times. I feel awful now…it’s hard to know what’s best sometimes. Maybe should have just got them up

OP posts:
timetobegin · 13/07/2024 06:55

I wouldn’t leave anyone to cry unless they were adult and asked me to.

Original poster
Apppron · 13/07/2024 06:55

Overthebow · 13/07/2024 06:53

No, if they’re wanting to get up why wouldn’t you get them up?

@Overthebow because it was 5am and they usually sleep until 7

OP posts:
Sirzy · 13/07/2024 06:56

Apppron · 13/07/2024 06:54

@Sirzy at what point do you stop going in though? I did try and re settle a few times. I feel awful now…it’s hard to know what’s best sometimes. Maybe should have just got them up

At the point you get them up for the day. Or get them and bring them in with you for half an hour.

Flittingaboutagain · 13/07/2024 06:56

If it's before 6.30am they come into my bed and read a book or we chat but after 6.30 I'd get up with them. No way would I leave my baby or toddlers crying like this.

NerrSnerr · 13/07/2024 06:57

At that age In our family any time auger about 5.30 they were ready to get up for the day. Exhausting but true.

YouveGotAFastCar · 13/07/2024 06:57

You get them up?

7am is a very late start for the average toddler.

GodspeedJune · 13/07/2024 06:57

No I wouldn’t do this. I can’t ignore my DD crying and feel compelled to comfort her. Could never leave her in distress like this.

Original poster
Apppron · 13/07/2024 06:57

They’ve gone back to sleep now. I feel terrible. Should I wake them?

I was very tired and obviously made the wrong call here

OP posts:
5475878237NC · 13/07/2024 06:58

Apppron · 13/07/2024 06:52

It’s before 7am and you’ve gone in to settle a few times but they won’t stop? Not needing anything, just wanting to get up. They’re 21 months. I’ve left to cry for ten mins and they did eventually stop but now I’m wondering if that was wrong?

Ok so if you'd said my toddler woke at 5am and wouldn't settle I would have said bring them into your bed and see if they go back to sleep.

Tenaciousbeyondallthings · 13/07/2024 06:58

Perhaps the OP is running around with other young children and has to leave 21minrh old in the safest place.

Decades ago now but if I was helping 3 and 5 yr old to wash dress and get ready for school/nursery near place for little one was in her cot. No one needs therapy for being left to whinge for ten minutes !

Miraculously all children still visit and speak to me and their dad.

5475878237NC · 13/07/2024 06:59

Apppron · 13/07/2024 06:57

They’ve gone back to sleep now. I feel terrible. Should I wake them?

I was very tired and obviously made the wrong call here

Why on earth would you wake them? I'd say sorry when they wake but that's about it. And not do it again.

SavingNotSpending · 13/07/2024 07:00

I would just bring them into your bed until 7am. I do this with my LO, sometimes she goes back to sleep, sometimes she brings a toy and lays quietly having a cuddle with me and other times we play and chat until we’re ready to get up properly.

We get up early on weekdays so on weekends I like to leave getting up until 7am at the earliest but I have lots of friends who just get up at whatever time their LOs wake up (sometimes around 5/6am)!

Emeraldiisland · 13/07/2024 07:03

You left them to cry for 10 minutes, not 2 hours and then were clearly tired as they went back to sleep.
Don't beat yourself up, it's honestly not going to affect your baby to be left for a bit. You checked, they were fine and after 10 minutes slept.
I really wouldn't worry about it.

BippetyBoppetyBooHoo · 13/07/2024 07:03

Do not wake them now. What time do they go to bed? Most toddlers go through a phased of getting up for the day at 5am.

Heronwatcher · 13/07/2024 07:03

Yes kids of that age wake early. 5.30/6 was very normal. We used to bring them into our bed for about half an hour and see if they’d go back to sleep and then take turns going downstairs with them to crank up CBeebies!

mrssunshinexxx · 13/07/2024 07:03

I mean I'm hungry for breakfast at 7am so I imagine a 1 year old will be

WednesburyUnreasonable · 13/07/2024 07:03

My toddler sometimes wakes at 5:20. When she does, I won’t rush to her because she often grumbles for a minute or two then goes back to sleep for half a hour whereas if I go in, she’ll snap fully awake.

If it continues or escalates, I’ll go get her. I wouldn’t leave her if it’s clear she’s awake for the day. (Edit: this is not because I’m a saint, it’s because it’s pointless…)

I’m not one of those people who is going to scold you for letting a nearly two year old cry for longer than a couple of seconds (my 19 month old sobbed yesterday because I wouldn’t let her try to carry a tote bag that was larger than her outside), but in your situation I’d probably just accept they are up for the day! 7am is quite late for a toddler, sadly.

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