Page 4 | To leave baby crying if…

Gogogo12345 · 13/07/2024 10:28

charlie19900 · 13/07/2024 10:23

Why would u leave them to cry at 7am that's a normal time to start the day ! I wouldn't leave them they have had there sleep and there ready for there day of adventure my toddler wakes at 5.30 sometimes and that's when my day starts

Another person unable to read. It WAS NOT 7am. It was 5am. Not everyone wants to get up at that hour. And when are parents meant to actually sleep then? If you work evenings for example and home at 11 ish then you don't want to be awake at 5am

Emeraldiisland · 13/07/2024 10:36

time2changeCharlieBrown · 13/07/2024 07:50

Now I’m confused people are saying 10 minutes before 7 of course that’s not unreasonable
But then others saying 5am
but 5-7 am is not ten minutes it’s two hours, so now the post is now not making sense

actually edited found the reply from the
op to another comment

** because it was 5am and they usually sleep until 7

Edited

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I read it as toddler woke up at 5 and cried for 10 minutes then went back to sleep. The OP was surely just explaing he usually wakes up at 7 but today he woke at 5 cried for a bit and went back to sleep. Nothing wrong with that.

Calphurnia6 · 13/07/2024 11:33

Emeraldiisland · 13/07/2024 10:36

I read it as toddler woke up at 5 and cried for 10 minutes then went back to sleep. The OP was surely just explaing he usually wakes up at 7 but today he woke at 5 cried for a bit and went back to sleep. Nothing wrong with that.

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OP said she tried to settle him a few times first but didn't say how many times or how long for. Everyone is just assuming their interpretation is correct 🤷🏻‍♀️

cloudy477654 · 13/07/2024 12:27

Bring them in to bed with you for cuddles then get up? Nice gentle start to the day

SummerDays2020 · 13/07/2024 13:48

I would not leave a baby to cry beyond a few minutes. Would your baby settle in bed with you?

Miffylou · 13/07/2024 13:56

Your child can’t tell the time! If they’re awake they’re awake. They’re ready to start the day. If it was 5am I might have some sympathy with you, but not at nearly 7am. Most young children wake up early.
(If you think it might help you could get some blackout blinds or curtain linings, but it might well make no difference.)

Gogogo12345 · 13/07/2024 13:59

Miffylou · 13/07/2024 13:56

Your child can’t tell the time! If they’re awake they’re awake. They’re ready to start the day. If it was 5am I might have some sympathy with you, but not at nearly 7am. Most young children wake up early.
(If you think it might help you could get some blackout blinds or curtain linings, but it might well make no difference.)

It WAS 5 am. Obviously not read full thread

Gogogo12345 · 13/07/2024 14:01

As below

USaYwHatNow · 13/07/2024 14:18

We went through a phase for about 3 months of starting the day at about 4:55-5.30am. Nearly broke me but it didn't last forever

cardibach · 13/07/2024 14:21

mrssunshinexxx · 13/07/2024 07:03

I mean I'm hungry for breakfast at 7am so I imagine a 1 year old will be

I’m not hungry for breakfast until about 11.30 (I wake at about 7.30). That has no bearing on when a baby/toddler might be. In any case, this one went back to sleep after 10 mins so the whingeing was likely tiredness, as the OP had thought.

DragonFly98 · 13/07/2024 14:22

johnd2 · 13/07/2024 07:41

Gosh lots of arsehole posters on at this time of the morning, 50 years ago people used to park the pram at the bottom of the garden and even 20 years ago people advocated cry it out to get your child to sleep.
OP I think only you can judge how to balance your needs and your child's, many random strangers on the internet will loudly tell you all child's needs trump all parents needs but that's not the case.
Having said all that you're child's distress won't damage them but it is telling you something important so use that information and if it starts happening more often then consider solutions. Eg blackout curtain, later bed time, change nap time or length, buy books about sleep and read them together, put an air bed in their room for early mornings for you, etc etc.
Good luck and I'm sure you're doing your best parenting (which is better in the long term than "perfect" parenting

My eldest is over the age of 20 and I never left her to cry it out, nor did i see it advised anywhere!

cardibach · 13/07/2024 14:25

Mere1 · 13/07/2024 07:42

Not ‘maybe’- you should have got them up. It’s not early and they need you. Selfish.

5 is very early for a toddler who normally sleeps until 7. In this case, said toddler went back to sleep in 10 mins so no, not selfish. Very sensible and has allowed the child sufficient sleep for health and well-being.

cardibach · 13/07/2024 14:26

Lourdes12 · 13/07/2024 07:25

Why do you need to re-settle at 7? Toddlers get up at that time

It was 5. At least read the OPs posts before commenting.

cardibach · 13/07/2024 14:28

time2changeCharlieBrown · 13/07/2024 07:46

So why is the title
The title? To leave crying? From 5-7
been in to settle a few times over two hour's”

is pretty ignoring ,I think I would feel I’d ignored my child if I’d only been in few times and left them crying for two hours
sorry but that is my opinion from what I’ve read , if yours is different your entitled to your own opinion, that’s fine of course , but mine won’t be changed and is formed from what I’ve read

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Where are you reading ‘over two hours’? The OP says the child went back to sleep after 10 minutes. Don’t make stuff up.

cardibach · 13/07/2024 14:30

Calphurnia6 · 13/07/2024 11:33

OP said she tried to settle him a few times first but didn't say how many times or how long for. Everyone is just assuming their interpretation is correct 🤷🏻‍♀️

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She says 10 mins in the OP I’ve left to cry for ten mins and they did eventually stop
So she went in a few times to settle over 10 mins by which time the child was asleep again.

cardibach · 13/07/2024 14:31

Miffylou · 13/07/2024 13:56

Your child can’t tell the time! If they’re awake they’re awake. They’re ready to start the day. If it was 5am I might have some sympathy with you, but not at nearly 7am. Most young children wake up early.
(If you think it might help you could get some blackout blinds or curtain linings, but it might well make no difference.)

It was 5. The child went back to sleep so obviously wasn’t ready to be up.

cardibach · 13/07/2024 14:33

DragonFly98 · 13/07/2024 14:22

My eldest is over the age of 20 and I never left her to cry it out, nor did i see it advised anywhere!

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Mine’s 28. I definitely saw it suggested. I even considered doing it once, but fortunately DD was an excellent sleeper and the night she wouldn’t was a one off.

littleapplecottage · 13/07/2024 14:33

Apppron · 13/07/2024 06:57

They’ve gone back to sleep now. I feel terrible. Should I wake them?

I was very tired and obviously made the wrong call here

That is ok, you're doing your best like we all are. There are no perfect parents.

In that situation I'd get them and have a cuddle in my bed, get some milk or food if I thought they were hungry then try and re-settle them back in their cot to catch a bit more sleep until it was time to get up.

littleapplecottage · 13/07/2024 14:42

But mine usually wakes at 8am (and needs their sleep) so 5am would be way too early to get up for the day.

User317994 · 13/07/2024 14:47

You did the right thing! Sometimes they cry because they are tired and they need you to leave them alone and let them settle back to sleep. Mine gets left till 0830 and very quickly (1 or 2 mornings of some crying) learned to sing herself some songs, tell herself her little stories or go back to sleep for a while. Now she is super happy and not tired. And has a very secure bond, pleased to see me, very affectionate, but doesn't worry when I leave the the room or drop her off somewhere, she knows I will come back and she can be happy on her own/with others.

I have seen somewhere that for good attachment "rupture and repair" is important (i.e. you go away but you always come back) not just constant instant responses.

User79853257976 · 13/07/2024 15:38

Apppron · 13/07/2024 06:54

@Sirzy at what point do you stop going in though? I did try and re settle a few times. I feel awful now…it’s hard to know what’s best sometimes. Maybe should have just got them up

You take them to your bed and snuggle for a bit if you’re not ready to get up.

cardibach · 13/07/2024 16:15

User79853257976 · 13/07/2024 15:38

You take them to your bed and snuggle for a bit if you’re not ready to get up.

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This child needed more sleep. The OP did the right thing - it wasn’t just her not ready to get up. Incidentally I didn’t ever take DD into my bed to ‘snuggle’. I learned very quickly this was the worst possible thing for us both as no rest ensued. It doesn’t work with all children.

Calphurnia6 · 13/07/2024 16:20

cardibach · 13/07/2024 14:30

She says 10 mins in the OP I’ve left to cry for ten mins and they did eventually stop
So she went in a few times to settle over 10 mins by which time the child was asleep again.

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The thread literally starts...

AIBU to leave baby crying if... It’s before 7am and you’ve gone in to settle a few times but they won’t stop?

...suggesting that the 10 minutes of baby being left to cry happened after the attempts to settle.

Stompythedinosaur · 13/07/2024 16:23

No, I wouldn't leave my dc to cry because I deemed it was too early. Maybe they can't sleep. Maybe they have a pain they can't tell you about. Maybe they just need comfort. I want them to know that I will respond if they need me, because that's healthier for them.

User79853257976 · 13/07/2024 19:11

cardibach · 13/07/2024 16:15

This child needed more sleep. The OP did the right thing - it wasn’t just her not ready to get up. Incidentally I didn’t ever take DD into my bed to ‘snuggle’. I learned very quickly this was the worst possible thing for us both as no rest ensued. It doesn’t work with all children.

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They probably would have fallen back to sleep quicker and also it was morning already.