To Feel Angered by People Taking So Many Photos for the 'Gram...?

[LilacCatt]

I am feeling so nostalgic right now for life pre-social media and pre-smart phones.

I am mid 30s. When I was 17 I had MySpace. When I was 19 I had Facebook. I deleted social media when I was 21 and have been without ever since. I use WhatsApp and occasionally have a peruse of Mumsnet.

Anyway.

Lately (for the past few years), I feel like whenever I visit a remotely interesting place (days out are my favourite thing to do) I am just so distracted from my own enjoyment by people around me posing for photos. Sometimes I see people doing really cringey things such as taking a few steps forward whilst getting their photo taken as if "candid", then quickly checking the result, and then going back to their original spot to take the same few steps forward whilst posing again.

Oh my god. This is all with people around them who are trying to enjoy the moment of the place of interest.

I feel it really repulses me, and actually angers me.

But I can't articulate WHY that is.

I don't want to be a bitter or angry person.

So I just want to explore this emotion a bit more, and open up the floor for a debate here.

Am I being unreasonable to have the inner emotional reaction when I see this sort of thing going on around me?

Should I live and let live?

Is it a symbol of everything wrong in society???

Questioning myself and my thoughts.

Thanks.

We travel a lot and this is one of our biggest annoyances. Most of the time it seems the people doing it have no concept of the place they are actually visiting, they couldn’t give a shit. It just suits the optics.
Absolutely ruined Majorelle Garden for us. We just wanted to wonder round and take it in. These fucking clowns were literally everywhere spending ages posing on front of every single bit of colourful background they could find.

I went to a restaurant recently and the women next to me spent at least 10 minutes after her food arrived taking photos. She’d adjust her position, hair, make-up and food and take a photo, look at it and start again. She’d then snap at the man with her that he’d touched his food or his foot was in her photo. It just went round and round until she was happy. Then she left her food mostly untouched. As the tables were quite close together, it was a really unpleasant experience for us.

It's just a matter of time before anywhere remotely lovely gets "discovered" and then becomes the latest photo shoot location

I've felt like this ever since apps came out which told you about "hidden gems". I used to live in London and all my secret little spots became crammed full of people pretty much overnight. I've left London now as I can't hack it and Instagram has just made it worse.

YANBU OP. I think it's the total self-absorption that irritates me. Never mind the people trying to work in the library / enjoy the view / see the stage. It's just me me me. In your case of the library I think I would have said something, especially if they were making noise in a silent space.

It genuinely spoilt a trip we made to Santorini. In a way it was quite fascinating. All many people were doing was posing and posing in different places with different outfits over and over again. They crammed the alleyways. They were wearing long flowing evening dresses in the daytime for pictures and had specialist equipment. People had drones buzzing overhead despite signs prohibiting it. I can’t explain why or how it was so awful and dispiriting. I would never go again.

And I love family pics. But there is a limit.

I went to see a musical with my young adult daughters the other day. They said that one of the nicest things was that nobody was allowed to take pictures and there was no pressure to have your phone out. I do agree with you OP.

It is crazy really. My cousin admitted that he goes to places to get pics for Instagram. So fancy restaurants, bars etc, just so that he can get snaps for his insta! Also admitted spending money he couldn't afford to do these things! Just for snaps. A lot of these influencers probably aren't enjoying their experiences, just chasing likes! Pretty dumb.

I do sometimes wish I was better at taking pics. I am rubbish at taking pics of special occasions /moments/memories. Luckily my husband is the photo taker and captures the special moments /memories etc. Have stopped putting on social media though.

I think this is it. Fine to take photos of a view, or your children with the castle or whatever in the background. It's the posing and the walking and hair swishing - basically a photoshoot, but getting in everyone's way. I work in a very beautiful part of central London, and I'm often held up by these posers in the street. I just want to get to work/the tube!! And the posing in the middle of the road - what's that about??

I agree with you OP, the current self obsession we are all witnessing is unhealthy.
And to those saying "it does no harm" I think that is ignoring the huge, negative influence social media is having on children and young people.
The current teenagers are an odd combination of being super liberal & "live and let live" yet incredibly judgemental & paranoid at the same time.
I think it must be very confusing to be young right now.

Totally agree we had our Taylor Swift experience ruined by a drunk dickhead who decided to film her friend’s reactions to all the songs and then the stage. She was right in front of me and it meant I had to watch parts of the show through her phone. Was livid.

It is selfish and anyone calling people sanctimonious is that dickhead. Don’t be a wanker, put your phone away.

Agree there is definite harm and impact it’s a very inauthentic unnatural way to live

YADNBU

I have noticed a kick-back with certain comedians or musicians actually banning phones during their performances.

The way forward surely.

Don't be so nasty. OP not being sanctimonious at all, ffs.
She has asking if others thought her anger and these vacuous wannabes was justified.
Are you a gram slave?
This is aibu, but such a bitchy response is unnecessary.
I totally agree with you @LilacCatt. They don't see where they are, only the pouty-selfie opp
Let's sit on the 'santimonious' bench together!

how do you know it is going on instagram?
how do you know they are not simply taking photos?

I think I wll adopt this stance. Living in London is a nightmare trying to dodge a bloody photo-op every 2 metres!

in a museum in Glasgow about 20 years ago, pre instagram, a coach load of Japanese i think tourists arrived, came in the museum, all of them took photos, and all of them left!
amazing.

I really enjoy taking photos and have done pre smart phones. Usually of architecture etc.
What I can't get my head around is all the posing and time spent on focusing on people getting pictures of themselves rather than taking in the surroundings. The expectation of others to wait out of shot while these types spends ages getting an insta worthy picture is annoying too.

Others taking photos doesn't really bother me but the candid back shots of someone gazing off into the distance are pretty funny.
We are just back from a beautiful popular holiday destination and the amount of back, gaze into the distance shots being taken was incredible. Just goes to show how IG is a lots of absolute nonsense imo

I completely agree. I watched a couple of girls (student aged) take photos of each other for ages at a lovely landmark in Europe a few years ago. They had each bought a bag of extra clothes and accessories with them and actually changed outfits 🙄. One then perched very precariously near a 50ft drop.

Speaking of which, there have been several selfie-related deaths in recent years.

“I don’t personally relate to something, therefore my way is better!”.

People didn’t do it before because they couldn’t, not because they were possessed of a deeper appreciation for their surroundings.

I don’t think it’s fake or inauthentic for any one person to enjoy things things in the way that best suits them. Not enjoying or appreciating them in the way you personally do doesn’t mean they’re not being appreciated or enjoyed.

I don’t have Instagram, but I don’t think I’m possessed of any greater moral or intellectual value than someone who does.

Sorry not RTFT but I agree with you op. The odd few photos here and there is fine but it’s the posing and getting the shot ‘just right’. Ironically, if people had old school cameras (like I did as a child😬-showing my age!), then you could almost understand it as you had 24 or 36 shots and it cost money to get them developed. However, now you have endless photos, all free, with any filter (and don’t get me started on those!🤣) so photos can be altered, etc to make them look just right.
it’s the self m-obsession I can’t stand.
I remember visiting Basilica notre dame in Marseille a few years ago. You can walk all around the outside/amazing views over the city and the Mediterranean Sea. At one point is a memorial to all the people who have drowned in the med trying to reach Europe. It is chained off with a sign in French and English explaining what it is. There was a woman who climbed over the chain and proceeded to be photographed standing on the memorial, doing different poses, like some kind of vogue photoshoot. It absolutely infuriated me. I wish I’d said something but didn’t, just walked off feeling despair at the selfishness of humanity. It was the symbolism as well of her STANDING on the memorial, a white, probably quite (or at least relatively) wealthy western person, either oblivious or deliberately ignoring what was under her feet 😡😡😡😢😢😢

Not a fan of social media but people will always take heaps of pics when out and about.
I do and I don't post them anywhere but it's nice to know that there's people out there judging me for taking pics of days out with my family thinking they're "just for the gram".
Love someone to make a comment in front of me while I'm taking pics...

Lol, you sound well’ard 😆😆😆

Not too mention there’s a difference between general family shots and what the OP is talking about.

I think it's an actual disease. Total self absorption.

I cringe too when I see it happening and feel annoyed, and I think it's because 99% of the time it's a woman posing and it just makes us (women) look vacuous.

How these self obsessed influencers are going to cope with the invisibility of old age God only knows.

Can I also add my hatred for people with fancy cameras who think they have more right to be there than the people taking a quick snapshot with their phone. It's so entitled.

This has bothered me for so long , since the Flickr days. It's not a new thing since Instagram.

I take snap shots and a quick video sometimes maybe for memories. When at popular places there are defo annoying people having full on almost photo shoots and getting in the way. Eg Taking up the best space for the view etc and then tutting or complaining when you get in their way of their very important selves.

But i don’t do instagram for likes etc i have my friends and family on it and it’s private. They can look if they want but for me it’s a photo album of memories. I don’t post loads on there but it’s great to look back on.

As for the ones you are in about. Not much people can do it’s just how it is at the minute. Times will change….

Totally agree. I also hate it. People just dont realise how self obsessed they have become. It actually makes them very ugly even though they are desperately trying to look beautiful.