To Feel Angered by People Taking So Many Photos for the 'Gram...?

[LilacCatt]

I am feeling so nostalgic right now for life pre-social media and pre-smart phones.

I am mid 30s. When I was 17 I had MySpace. When I was 19 I had Facebook. I deleted social media when I was 21 and have been without ever since. I use WhatsApp and occasionally have a peruse of Mumsnet.

Anyway.

Lately (for the past few years), I feel like whenever I visit a remotely interesting place (days out are my favourite thing to do) I am just so distracted from my own enjoyment by people around me posing for photos. Sometimes I see people doing really cringey things such as taking a few steps forward whilst getting their photo taken as if "candid", then quickly checking the result, and then going back to their original spot to take the same few steps forward whilst posing again.

Oh my god. This is all with people around them who are trying to enjoy the moment of the place of interest.

I feel it really repulses me, and actually angers me.

But I can't articulate WHY that is.

I don't want to be a bitter or angry person.

So I just want to explore this emotion a bit more, and open up the floor for a debate here.

Am I being unreasonable to have the inner emotional reaction when I see this sort of thing going on around me?

Should I live and let live?

Is it a symbol of everything wrong in society???

Questioning myself and my thoughts.

Thanks.

If social media was taken away in an instant... I really do think some of these "influencers" would top themselves.
They wouldn't be able to cope without the likes and sickly fake 'beaut' 'stunning' comments. It's absolutely cringe and sad that they don't feel valued without it

Woah. Good questions.

I get the same rage. My first thought is it’s because I can’t stand narcissistic behaviours. I’ve always hated show-off types.

Your questions immediately made me think of my mum’s comments whenever I had a moment of confidence as a child.

As an example, as a tween I drew a picture I was really pleased with and excitedly danced around showing my family because I was happy with it. My mum cut me down immediately doing a sarcastic impression of me, saying “Ooh everybody look at me, I’m sooo brilliant”. There was lots of “Stop showing off!” as a young child too. I got called “vain” when she caught me examining my own face in the bathroom mirror as a teen. I was “attention seeking” when I was upset. Etc.

CCTV isn't taking videos of people for the purpose of shaming them for likes and getting paid more than a nurse to do so is it.

CCTV isn't going around filming women in short skirts on a night out either.

Look up main character syndrome and get up to speed on the zombie apocalypse.

Not just the likes though is it, getting paid a million a year to film yourself on waterslides isn't exactly going to deter anyone from becoming an influencer.

I think this is a good point - perhaps the only 'authentic' photo of a beautiful scene in 2024 is one that includes all the posers and instagrammers doing their thing. It could be the start of a new genre in photography - a useful resource for future social historians.

Spend some more time on these questions.

My MIL (61) lives her life on Facebook. She’s always taking loads of photos whenever the family are together….or because it’s a Tuesday 🙄 and they get uploaded without any pre-reviewing. My DH hates having his picture taken so it drives him up the wall 😂

We (DH and I) are terrible for not taking photos, so we’ll often go on holidays, days/nights out and not get a single snap as a memento and I do say I wish we were a little better with capturing memories. Even the times we do, after qualitychecking, 95% are deleted: “I have a double chin”, “my arm looks like I’ve got elephantiasis” or “the angle makes my shoulders/arms/ankles look skinny”…..you see the theme.

As much as MIL’s approach of photo spamming and plastering everything on Facebook isn’t my style, we leave her be as it makes her happy.

She’s successfully battled Hodgkin’s Lymphoma twice, survived a bone marrow transplant and despite being left suffering multiple, serious permanent complications from the chemo (heart and lung damage, bone density issues, extremely weak immune system etc) she’s chosen to post the way she does so that when she’s gone (hopefully many years hence), her Husband, two sons, grandkids, wider family and friends will all have plenty of daily pop up memories on Facebook to make them think of her and make them smile.

I can’t think of a better reason than that so whilst it might not be my choice, I can’t get wound up by those who take a different approach. You never know what may be the reason they are so intent to capture and preserve that particular moment in time.

It's encouraging that your 13 year old is angry about all this. I wouldn't be surprised if there is a huge backlash against all the selfie/social media madness when the next generation grows up. Good luck to them!

It is - very encouraging! I hope she's not an anomaly

See that's interesting. My background is almost the opposite tbh!

But for me I don't think it has any bearing on the anger I feel.

Okay, so, my post today was triggered by the fact that I was trying to study in a library. One with a particularly lovely SILENT room in it. I have an upcoming exam, it is the perfect place to study ...

....if it wasn't for hordes of tourists trooping in and out all day long.

It really frustrated me because years ago I used to come to this library to study and it was a totally different environment. Everyone there was there to study - hard. I feel that this is something of "mine" (my hometown, my culture, my memories) which has now been ruined by these people.

One American man literally gasped loudly "oh my gawwwwwd, look how many books they have". (Proceeds to take a million photos)

And that made me particularly angry because:

1. it's a silent library room. Why do you not care that you are disturbing everyone who is trying to use it as an actual library?!
2. it's very clear that this man would never, ever be in that library, making such a racket, if it wasn't so "Instagrammable".

It also makes me angry that no one is doing anything about it.

I did get the library manager's email address, but I don't really know what to say or suggest. That's when I felt really sad - because I feel like it's too late... The world is just kinda ruined. It's just a matter of time before anywhere remotely lovely gets "discovered" and then becomes the latest photo shoot location. 😢

I didn't want to mention the library before now. Because I have also felt this anger at other locations that don't require silence. So I know it's something more than just being disturbed in the library that has p'd me off.

Can I just revisit this please..

I am really hoping someone can make me feel some optimism.

How do we think things may change in the future?

This.

Although as an aside the photos we took pre social media were of views and things... it seems now that every view has to have the persons head in it...so it's as much about them as it is the view.

I think you can be fairly sure the next generation will challenge and question what they saw growing up - every generation rejects many of the values and habits of the previous one. So today's children will be quietly watching their parents and the people around them, observing their obsession with images and surfaces, and eventually they will rebel against this (as well as experiencing a massive cringe!) There's room for optimism in that thought.

My husband and I got stuck in a lift with our estate agent. When it became clear that we’d be there for a while he asked if we’d like to see photos from his recent trip to Europe so we politely said yes. What followed was literally hundreds of photos of his wife with a tiny corner of major landmarks tucked in the background 😆 It was equally hilarious and tragic. I mean, he already knows what his wife looks like right so wouldn’t it make more sense to actually have photos of the Eiffel Tower etc? She was literally the focus of every single shot.

How exactly are people taking photos harming you in any way?
If they want to take photos 'for the gram', what's it to you?

If you don't personally like doing it, fine, but getting 'angry' about others doing it, is completely OTT.

You might want to look into why you're getting so riled up...

That’s exactly what OP is doing..

Asking the great and the good of Mumsnet isn't exactly 'looking into it'.
But thanks for your input 👍

Yeah I think you are being a bit uptight here...
People enjoy things in different ways..
I'm late 30s and from being a child I loved taking photos. Well before smartphones and social media. I'd fill up whole rolls of film with pictures of random trees I saw on family holidays to Wales lmao!!
My dad didn't understand he'd want to know why I took all the photos..

Some people like photos.

Some people don't.

Some people like to take a couple every now and then.

None of these things are superior to the others.
Just let people enjoy their lives how they want to and you enjoy yours how you want to.

I personally think the revulsion is pure technophobia.

However... it's drones that irritate the fk outta me.
I love hiking and I've gone hiking for miles across the moors before.. sat down in the middle of no where, not a person in sight, just bird song... and then... FKN BUZZING DRONES COME!! Absolute menace.
Tbf to me, its not that they are taking pictures it's the noise. I'm fine with people enjoying things in their own way but when it starts to inflict on m experience then I get cross. At least with people just taking selfies you can just turn away, or wait and they'll move on. But drones hover about for ages and you can hear them from a great distance especially when in quiet beauty spots.

And it's more the people than the taking pictures isn't it? As I said I love pictures.. but I'd never go and make a racket in a quiet library and get in the way of people trying to do actual work. That's just rude. Those people were rude and it's got nothing to do with liking to take photos.

Not a fan of social media but people will always take heaps of pics when out and about.
I do and I don't post them anywhere but it's nice to know that there's people out there judging me for taking pics of days out with my family thinking they're "just for the gram".
Love someone to make a comment in front of me while I'm taking pics...

I'm in Sydney. The latest trend seems to be heavily pregnant women posing in tiny bikinis for a full on photoshoot in the ocean/at the beach. I see them weekly, even in the middle of winter. The posing for hundreds of different shots just to try and get the 'perfect' picture for insta seems so narcissistic to me.

I live in a

Ooos too quick!
I live a photogenic tourist spot. I see groups of young people come into a restaurant for lunch or dinner and they won't exchange a word between them. Selfies with the view, pout, no pout, look away from the camera, laugh into the distance like it's a candid photo, v sign.... on and on it goes.

Then the wine arrives. Photo of wine against the view. Selfie sipping the wine. Then the food arrives; lots of standing up to photo from above. Then they eat. Noses buried in phones as the post their photos to Instagram showing everyone how they are supposedly living their best life....

It's fucking ridiculous.

I don't care if people do the insta photo thing. I do find it sad & pathetic that they get their thrills from likes rather than experiences. Most of these people I talk to about a place we've both been can't tell me anything about it.

What DOES make me ragey is being filmed by people doing walk throughs of places for YouTube. You can't avoid being filmed multiple times & can't refuse consent to being posted online.

Or people blocking access to attractions - like the national park we went to last year & the lookout you had to hike to. We couldn't get near it & had to wait five minutes while a family insta posed themselves in multiple ways, ignoring the two other families waiting to see the view. I eventually told them time's up as others were waiting!!