To Feel Angered by People Taking So Many Photos for the 'Gram...?

[LilacCatt]

I am feeling so nostalgic right now for life pre-social media and pre-smart phones.

I am mid 30s. When I was 17 I had MySpace. When I was 19 I had Facebook. I deleted social media when I was 21 and have been without ever since. I use WhatsApp and occasionally have a peruse of Mumsnet.

Anyway.

Lately (for the past few years), I feel like whenever I visit a remotely interesting place (days out are my favourite thing to do) I am just so distracted from my own enjoyment by people around me posing for photos. Sometimes I see people doing really cringey things such as taking a few steps forward whilst getting their photo taken as if "candid", then quickly checking the result, and then going back to their original spot to take the same few steps forward whilst posing again.

Oh my god. This is all with people around them who are trying to enjoy the moment of the place of interest.

I feel it really repulses me, and actually angers me.

But I can't articulate WHY that is.

I don't want to be a bitter or angry person.

So I just want to explore this emotion a bit more, and open up the floor for a debate here.

Am I being unreasonable to have the inner emotional reaction when I see this sort of thing going on around me?

Should I live and let live?

Is it a symbol of everything wrong in society???

Questioning myself and my thoughts.

Thanks.

Back in the 80s it used to be a standing joke the Japanese tourists would stand in front of things and be photographed. We thought it was funny to see people doing that….

@CyprusCypress I was gobsmacked at the amount of engagement shoots in Santorini where the couples ignored signs/chains and posed in dangerous areas. We were on a boat ride and the captain was having a right rant about them.

I don’t feel angered, but, at the risk of sounding sanctimonious I hate seeing parents with small kids doing this. Witnessed a mum getting her small four year old child to pose just right climbing a log again and again, and at the theatre a mum actually shouting at her small child to turn around so she could get a shot of her posing in front of the stage. There is also a kid who goes to my child’s nursery, I don’t know the mum that well but do have her on socials and EVERY MOVE is documented…I was looking at this child and thinking you don’t know me but everyone literally knows everything about your life - she’s 2 😂🙈

I went to a museum recently and everyone kept pushing me out of the way to take a photo of the paintings. Not even a selfie with the painting in the background.

JUST BUY A FREAKING ART BOOK.

It was a different type of photo taking then though. I know what the OP is getting at.

I'm late 30s and when I was growing up we took our holiday snaps on old fashioned cameras and had to get the films developed. I got my first digital camera when I was about 18 and even though I was a prolific user of social media all through university and beyond, in those days people would take a whole bunch of photos (mostly incredibly unflattering ones) and upload them all to Facebook for people to laugh at and untag themselves from.

These days everyone seems to have mistaken themselves for a fashion model and it's all about the highly curated shots, taken in the most flattering poses, with a thousand takes to get the perfect shot. People plan their holidays around the most Instagrammable sites and their outfits around the fashion shoots they plan to do in front of them. It's annoying for the normal people who just want to visit those sites and admire the view like we always have done to have to wait for all the preening and prancing to stop before we can just enjoy the view and take a normal photo.

Even ten years ago there might just be one annoying narcissist doing it and you could laugh at them but now it's every other bugger and their entourage.

I remember Japanese tourists in London back in the days of film, and pre-SM, taking photos in a "performative" way. Huge SLR cameras too.

I was travelling in China late 2000s. Early days of smartphones, pre-insta/ short form SM and again the culture was turn up to some attractive backdrop, huge grin, victory fingers, move on when photos were done. The culture wasn't to stop, pause, take it in or snap the attraction as it is. It was very focused on "I am here"

It seemed strange to us, but it was just a different culture around visiting places and taking photos, but SM wasn't the motivation for it.

I clearly don't spend much time going to insta-crowd places in the UK.

Being loud in a functioning library would always be rude.

YANBU if what anyone else is doing is impeding you and/or others. (Lots of examples given of that by posters).

YABU if you’re mainly annoyed by their choice of activity and assumption it’s for social media (monitoring/ judging others).

I take lots of pics, including a few basic selfies, but don’t post on social media.

Wank is exactly the right word IMO and you're right, OP, it's cringey and horribly fake.

It's a bit much to be angry over though it, isn't it? Just let them get on with it and enjoy expeirences the way you want to enjoy them.

Like a 100 a day? Like hell 😆you did.

It’s a pain in the arse OP, especially if you are just trying to get around the area. A photo is fine, but multiply it by hundreds of people, taking multiple shots, checking the shot, repeat.

When I worked in a Reception class we would often photograph a child’s work or play. The number of times the child would stop and pull a pose was disturbing.

I was at the hospital on Thursday, sitting on a bench outside waiting for my appointment time. Two women were there doing an amateur a photo shoot using their mobiles, dozens of poses and photos retaken. It was against a backdrop of roses but nevertheless.. bizarre behaviour at a hospital.

This. It seems what has become important is not having the experience but other people seeing you have the experience via SM.

Photography has been my hobby since my early 20s, way back in the days of film. My photos were mainly for me. I’d perhaps show them, after putting them in an album, to a very few friends and family members I thought might be interested. My photography is still mostly for me. I have an IG but don’t post on it. Even on holiday I will only share a few photos on FB for the whole holiday and hardly any selfies.

Someone posted above why bother taking your own photos of places when you can look at them online. Because they wouldn’t be my photos of my experience, that’s why.

This totally misses the point.

The OP isn't saying her way is better but she is questioning the current selfie obsession as are a lot of us.
And of course no one knows if the pictures taken are for Instagram or personal memories but that's irrelevant really.
The OP is citing selfish behaviour from others to get a "perfect shot" which affects other people's enjoyment.
My point earlier was the impact all of this obviously narcissistic behaviour is having on young people.

I feel exactly the same OP. It's really annoying and I do think part of what annoys me is the sense that people are there only for the photo, not a genuine experience. It feels tick box and very focused on what others will think. I also feel bad people are living so so very not in the moment. I was out for dinner the other day at a place with big bench tables. Two girls came in, sat on the same bench table, ordered desserts then spent 10 - 15 minutes photographing the desserts... Before moving to another table with better light and continuing. Not photographers, just on their phones. It was so sad they could have been enjoying delicious food and each others company, but instead they were together but apart if that makes sense?

Even worse is the fake Instagram photos you can get abroad, for example at this Bali temple https://www.businessinsider.com/bali-tourist-spot-popular-instagram-fake-photo-op-2019-7
There is no lake. Just a mirror held under an iPhone. A friend posted a photo of herself here with no comment and I just thought it was the weirdest thing.

All that being said though, I also know there's something in me that's also making me feel so strongly. I know because when I was late teens and had MySpace, it was a thing among my wider social circle for girls to send saucy pictures in for the Suicide Girls online site/magazine. They ALWAYS framed it as showing beauty can be any way but they looked exactly the same as the Nuts and Zoo girls around at the time, just more tattooed. The sheer bullshittery of it, the obvious fact they just wanted to show off their bodies and therefore were being disingenuous used to really wind me up. I don't think it was jealousy, because the girls who chose to do the lads mags didn't annoy me. So it's something about doing something to show off but dressing it up as something else that's annoying.

In the case of Instagram tourists, they are pretending they want to travel and see amazing things, but it feels like it's all about likes and looking cool. Very few people go the temple in Bali for anything other than a fake art shot for Instagram, when it's likely interesting and has history in it's own right. But people will post a pensive shot of them by the 'lake' and add captions about finding themselves and it be importance of travel.

I quite enjoy watching the selfie-takers. I find it quite interesting how people are trying to portray themselves. Was on the tube in London last week and a normal-looking woman got on then spent the next 5 minutes creating all these simpering poses from different angles. And the people in the park squatting under a small tree so they can pose with some blossom. So long as they don't expect me to get out of their way I don't mind.

i must agree at Greenwich, top of the hill, trying to get a photo, a few people posing for shorts for so long it was so self centred, just Move!

They are far more likely to be filming for TikTok. People aren’t really posting photos on Instagram anymore. It’s all about short videos.

To be honest, I don’t think it’s a social media thing. It’s just the way people are now. It’s probably a behaviour encouraged/enhanced by social media, but it’s just in people’s nature to take a lot of posing photographs now.

Perhaps in years to come, future generations will be pleased to have so many photos of their family members? Who knows.

I also get irritated by the people who want multiple takes of staged scenes, presumably for the gram! It’s not the quick selfie takers or group shots with family/friends, it’s the fakeness of all the posing and staging.

I don’t like that businesses encourage all the photos for the exposure as it can be disruptive. I had to walk along Kings Road in London during Chelsea in Bloom and most shops had a floral display. You couldn’t enjoy it as each shopfront was several people deep of posers and those taking hundreds of pics of each display. People were crouched on the floor trying to get interesting angles so it was hard to even walk on the pavement.

What’s the point of 30 photos of flowers outside Zara? Can’t we just acknowledge it looks nice and move on? I find it sad that the rest of us can’t enjoy it.

Disagreeing with something is not the same thing as not understanding it. Of course the inference is that her way is better by virtue of not being ‘unauthentic’ and ‘fake’, and it disingenuous to suggest otherwise.

What exactly is selfish about this, exactly?:

”Sometimes I see people doing really cringey things such as taking a few steps forward whilst getting their photo taken as if "candid", then quickly checking the result, and then going back to their original spot to take the same few steps forward whilst posing again.”

That someone wants to retake a photo they don’t like? Oh no, the horror. What is ruining OP’s enjoyment is her choice to pay attention to what other people are doing.

I think OP it is creating a deeper shift too. Like the aesthetic value of everything has risen a few notches above other values for things. That includes people. People were always valued for their appearance, I know, but now it feels like if someone is good looking that represents everything about them. It's a thought that's still developing in my mind so it's really difficult to explain what I mean! I've been thinking about it for a while.

I know what you mean, OP. It's all so vain and self-centred.

I told off a young woman a couple of weeks ago who was being photographed by her adoring partner standing in the community gardens that me and a few local volunteers look after. She was standing by the roses we planted and have been nurturing for a decade, breaking off the best blossoms and putting them behind her ear then posing for photos doing that "I'm so sad yet lovely pose" followed by the "caught me in a fake laugh" pose. I wanted to punch her in the face but I'm not a dick. She looked confused when challenged and said, "But I haven't picked all of them!" Vapid wretch.

I took this photo last year.
The people on the left are queuing to stand next to a red phone box with the Houses of Parliament in the background.

I avoid going to places where these cranks will be now (the odd holiday or event aside where it's unavoidable).

I used to be a member of a gym in London and complained to staff about people taking selfies and posed full-length body shots in the changing rooms, where I could easily be caught in the background. The lack of awareness of those taking pics was one thing, but then the staff refused to discourage it. Clearly the gym being tagged in a ‘results’ pic was more important than my privacy when getting changed.

But that's different to what the OP is describing because it directly inpacted your enjoyment.

I wonder if it's human nature to get angry at people who we don't think are like us, or have the same opinion on how space should be used. We can't attack each other for all the things we use to, so this sort of thing is the new tribalism. When we get angry or view others with bias, we lose empathy. Ot isn't a state that we want people walking around in, because granted you'll be doing something that will piss someone off, even if it's just being female or out with young children. OP it would be better if you reasoned it out, otherwise you'll end up with no enjoyment in your life, except what you get from judging others.