Husband threw something at my head

[WhatToDo123abc]

My husband just threw a toy at my face while I was holding our toddler. Should I call the police?

999 now please

my lip is just slightly swollen. Almost finished form. Are you sure police wont think this is minor/ silly for filling in the form

I'm really sorry this happened to you, OP. Just to say it's likely to escalate. Years ago a man threw a large coffee jar at my head. (Luckily it missed.). Later he got married: his wife left him for physical abuse. I would recommend not staying in this relationship. It's dangerous for you and it's likely to be very damaging for your children. Sending you all good wishes.

OP, the hardest thing I had to do was turn my husband over to police. What a life event that was. I was a confused, erratic mess. Tormented. I was so worried about ruining his life. He nearly killed my daughter and me. Yet I felt dreadful guilt. I knew to ignore that guilt though. I had to keep the children safe. Mother’s Protection trumps guilt.

Do this for your baby if for no other reason.

I get it! He’s your husband with lots of nice stuff. Bad stuff comes with a lot of good and this blurs our vision.
It takes a minute to face the fact that the person you love and trust above all others is now your greatest risk. Your brain needs time to accept that and he, of all people, unexpectedly just took away your trust and your safety in the blink of an eye. It’s a lot to take in. He has delivered harm to you and your child and shows no remorse.
This is who he is.
Calling the police on your husband feels so unnatural, surreal. It’s the best thing you could do.

They absolutely will not think this is minor or silly.

You've done so well to finish that form while you are still in shock. Well done OP.

Do say you were holding your child. And if it helps you to frame it differently, for you, frame it as doing it for your baby.
In fact it's for both of you.
It will only get worse, particularly as he's now normalised it.

was really unsure if I should sumbit or not but I have submitted the form

Well done OP.

As PP said, you need to reframe this in your mind. He has abused your child as well.

Personally I wouldn't call the police. Not because I don't think it's warranted or deserved, but because I think they're overstretched and as a result not much will come of it. I would remove yourself and children from the situation though, and make plans to leave. That's not a healthy reaction, no matter how stressful/tense the situation is. Maybe log it with 101 for future reference.

They will not think you are being silly, not at all.

It's scary and you're questioning whether it's bad enough for you to make the call and deal with all that comes after, but what about next time.

What if it's your child that ends up with a busted lip? or gets cut by a flying shard of glass?

From experience if you try to leave and can't prove DV he will be getting unsupervised access. Even with proof it's hard to stop contact. So definitely repot it to the police and get photos taken soon while your face is still marked because often it takes a few days before they speak to you then the marks are gone unless it was really bad.

No. They will not think it is minor. Call them now. You were threatened by an adult man no matter how much you love him with his baby in your arms. Not acceptable on any level. Is that love or does his toddler tantrum teach him a lesson that this is not acceptable. I also wonder is he a coercive controller from old times where the man is in charge and you go along with it?

Well done for submitting that form.

It is a slippery slope, at first its a toy, because a toy is not 'serious', its just a toy... and then the silent treatment and the pretending it doesn't happen and slowly it becomes the norm, acceptable to throw things at you...

And then one day it isn't a toy... it's a glass or a mug or a plate... and so on and on it escalates.

Showing him you will not tolerate this, right now, is the right thing to do.

What he threw at you isn't really the point, that he threw something, at your face, whilst you were holding your small child, absolutely is.

Yes. Agree.

Don't tell him you have contacted the police. Could you go next door with your child to wait? Or phone 999 from there?Please, please, please make sure you tell the police you want him removed.
Thinking can come later, your only priority now is for him to be removed to ensure that you and your child are safe.

I think the opposite

He assaulted you with a child in your arms??

Call the police....they need to come out. He needs dealing with. Now. Not when they find time to read and react to an online form

As long as you feel safe overnight do the online form.
Take a photo of your injury, then more if bruising comes out. Email them to yourself if you think he’ll find them on your phone.
Your 6 year old will survive a split, better than living with a violent father. Next time it could be far worse.

I thanked you, OP! 😆
What I’m trying to say is, you’ve got courage for miles. You’re protecting you and your child from serious harm. Well done!!

I have submitted the form, I should get my children to bed. Still in shock. I will update tomorrow. Thanks for the all the replies

Police will have to refer on to social services so be prepared to kick him out

I would sleep in with the kids tonight rather than with him if you can't go elsewhere.

Sit with the shock. It’ll reveal a lot as it softens. Hope you can rest and just recover .

What is this mumsnet insistence on not using taxpayer funded public services (usually A&E, now police) as needed and when needed because they are "overstretched"?

Sending you lots of good wishes

So sorry op xxxxxx

This is ridiculous and I would hate for anyone suffering from domestic abuse to read this.

Police aren't allowed to just ignore crimes because they are "overstretched". That's not how it works.

It's not true that the police wouldn't do anything.