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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Schoolgirls spiked my daughter’s drink with laxatives.

604 replies

Halfordscarpark · 12/07/2024 17:27

This is more of a WWYD I guess.

My daughter has been bullied recently at school, some physical, some verbal and this week the bullies poured laxatives into her water bottle at lunchtime and I had to leave work to collect her.

I’ve not heard anything more from the school or the parents and the children are still in school.

I’m interested to hear what you think and what you would do in this situation as this is not acceptable.

OP posts:
Megirlan123 · 12/07/2024 18:12

Doltontweedle · 12/07/2024 17:28

I would 100% honestly file a police report for assault. How old are they?

This ⬆️

stayathomer · 12/07/2024 18:13

Contact the school, I’d agree the police too. Poor thing

BeachParty · 12/07/2024 18:13

Booksandflowers · 12/07/2024 17:29

Oh my god. What if she’d been allergic or had a terrible reaction? (Other than the obvious which is bad enough!) That could have been so dangerous. I would be escalating and taking to the police as another poster has mentioned.

This.
It's assault, she's been drugged, it could have ended fatally if she'd have had a reaction.
Police.

BarryCantSwim · 12/07/2024 18:14

MargaretThursday · 12/07/2024 18:11

I don't think it's as simple as just tell the police.

If there is no proof except someone saying "x put laxatives in your waterbottle" who may well back down if they have the police in front of them.

So the question is:
How did she know they did?
How did they get the waterbottle?
Did she drink it?
What evidence is there?

I suspect if she has just been told, then unless there is either CCTV evidence or there is someone willing to come forward and say they saw them do it, then the police will say there is nothing they can do.
If she saw it and didn't drink it, then I suspect the best the police will do is speak to the girls and tell them some equivalent of "don't do it again".
Either of which could end up backfiring as the bullies see this as they can get away with it.

That's not saying that you should drop it. But unless there is clear evidence, then you may be best dealing with the school at least first.
I would write down exactly what happened, including witnesses that may be prepared to tell the truth. Then what you want to be done and ask to speak to the head/safeguarding lead first thing on Monday. Depending on their reaction, depends on what you do next.
However it might be a point that you want to spend the weekend looking at other schools, and next week checking other schools which have spaces out, so she can have a new start in September.

Surely the role of the police is to - collect evidence?

Are we all expected to find our own burglars and present a shut case before an alleged crime is reported?

MissMoneyFairy · 12/07/2024 18:14

The police have to know, how awful. Do the school know, was it school who rang you. I'd keep her off school until they can guarantee her safety.

BrendaSmall · 12/07/2024 18:15

Without 100% proof, then I don’t think that the police would do anything.
Dod your daughter go and have blood tests to see if anything showed up or was she told that the other person had done it?

Beetrootcocoa · 12/07/2024 18:15

lateatwork · 12/07/2024 17:56

This sounds suspiciously like you are somehow blaming the OP's daughter?

Show quote history

I think it’s actually because laxatives have obvious taste (quite horrible) so you would notice immediately

FrippEnos · 12/07/2024 18:15

I would report to the police, LADO and the schools Designated Safety Lead.
This is a major safeguarding incident.

tennesseewhiskey1 · 12/07/2024 18:15

Police - what are you waiting for?

CurlyhairedAssassin · 12/07/2024 18:16

TickTickTockItsaQuartertoTwo · 12/07/2024 17:38

i would also call the police, the school haven’t acted and she could have had a dangerous electrolyte abnormality. Always run it through an adult filter. What would I do if someone in the office did this to me…… don’t dismiss it as they are teenagers.

Exactly this. It make me laugh the double standards in our schools. Schools put so much focussing on safeguarding, calling parents in to follow up something that a 6 year old said in all innocence, yet somehow when a child gets to secondary they are just thrown into the lions and left to fend for themselves with loads going on in corridors, toilets, quiet corners of playgrounds, and buses that is not visible to teachers. I would absolutely report to the police myself anything that happened to my child at school that would be classed as assault if it was adult to adult. I just won't have it that it's "just part of going to school, everyone has to go through it."

BlossomToLeaves · 12/07/2024 18:16

lateatwork · 12/07/2024 17:56

This sounds suspiciously like you are somehow blaming the OP's daughter?

Show quote history

I don't think anyone is blaming the OP's daughter, just suggesting that perhaps the story as presented is not all that likely. How would they get hold of colourless, odourless, liquid laxatives? (if they existed, lots of people would be much happier taking them than the disgusting dissolvable fibre sachets!) And then manage to get them in the water bottle without anyone noticing? And then make it obvious that that is what they did? It just sounds like the OP has not been told the full story somehow.

And while I also think that an incident like this should be investigated, I think going to the police without further information and actual answers to some of the questions that have been posed here would not be very fruitful.

BarryCantSwim · 12/07/2024 18:16

If they’re doing this at school and it’s not jumped very seriously, imagine the escalation when they’re older. Jesus Christ.

Dragonsandcats · 12/07/2024 18:17

I would be absolutely furious, I would contact the police.

Puffinfoot · 12/07/2024 18:18

Beetrootcocoa · 12/07/2024 18:15

I think it’s actually because laxatives have obvious taste (quite horrible) so you would notice immediately

Show quote history

It doesn't matter if DD noticed or not, they still put it in her drink (assuming they did).

HolaSenorita · 12/07/2024 18:18

I’d expect them to be expelled. And I would be reporting it to the police.

And I’d be keeping my daughter at home, until I had it confirmed in writing to me that they had been expelled

crumblingschools · 12/07/2024 18:19

@FrippEnos unless an adult is being accused of this LADO is not correct. MASH might be. Details will be on school website or council website if OP wants to go down that route.

WindsurfingDreams · 12/07/2024 18:20

BarryCantSwim · 12/07/2024 18:16

If they’re doing this at school and it’s not jumped very seriously, imagine the escalation when they’re older. Jesus Christ.

Exactly. It's actually doing right by these children too, to make sure they are very clear how unacceptable and dangerous it is

Similarly school, the reason I was very vigorous when school under reacted to allergy "near misses" was precisely to help them be in a much better shape to prevent /handle any future incidents better. Thankfully the headteacher realised that even if the teacher was disappointingly defensive (if the headteacher hadn't taken it seriously I would have escalated the matter rapidly,)

PerkyMintDeer · 12/07/2024 18:20

BlossomToLeaves · 12/07/2024 18:16

I don't think anyone is blaming the OP's daughter, just suggesting that perhaps the story as presented is not all that likely. How would they get hold of colourless, odourless, liquid laxatives? (if they existed, lots of people would be much happier taking them than the disgusting dissolvable fibre sachets!) And then manage to get them in the water bottle without anyone noticing? And then make it obvious that that is what they did? It just sounds like the OP has not been told the full story somehow.

And while I also think that an incident like this should be investigated, I think going to the police without further information and actual answers to some of the questions that have been posed here would not be very fruitful.

Edited
Show quote history

Magnesium Citrate Liquid is easily available,

Easy to down something laced with Lactulose and realise late that it tasted sweet.

Erythritol drops are again easy to obtain and can cause awful stomach problems.

BarryCantSwim · 12/07/2024 18:20

I’d also go to a GP/urgent treatment centre so all the symptoms are logged. What else was in there?

Oblomov24 · 12/07/2024 18:21

Your poor dd. How can you prove which girl did it, and when they did it?

FrippEnos · 12/07/2024 18:21

crumblingschools · 12/07/2024 18:19

@FrippEnos unless an adult is being accused of this LADO is not correct. MASH might be. Details will be on school website or council website if OP wants to go down that route.

Sorry apologies quite right, I went into automatic mode.

ButterCrackers · 12/07/2024 18:21

An assault reported to the police. How awful. These bullies need to face the law and consequences for their actions.

ButterCrackers · 12/07/2024 18:22

HolaSenorita · 12/07/2024 18:18

I’d expect them to be expelled. And I would be reporting it to the police.

And I’d be keeping my daughter at home, until I had it confirmed in writing to me that they had been expelled

This

Puffinfoot · 12/07/2024 18:22

I think the fact that school don't seem to have done anything is what's raising questions. I just can't imagine that in any school I've worked in, so I wonder what exactly happened and why the school aren't treating it more seriously.

Mikki77 · 12/07/2024 18:22

How do you know it was a laxative?
It may have been something worse that caused diarrhea. This is poisoning with intent to harm. Call the police now.