To stop giving her money

[MyYorkie]

AIBU to stop borrowing friend money, I can't be sure if she is fabricating stories or even telling me the truth.

The friend let's call her Rach, works when her kids are at school, I'm not sure what she does work wise it's very hush hush.

The stories Rach tells me to lend money are ridiculous. it's 10/20quid a week, I never get it back. The problem I have, Rach makes me feel so guilty that she can't feed her kids and that they are in bed hungry and starving.

She'll text saying they havent ate since school, and they she doesn't have any food, they get school meals.

she'll tell me she's escaped an abusive relationship, she's got a new fella and she's magically fine, they've stopped her child benefit, and universal credit, she's told me that she's in a woman shelter and none of her family will help, Her prams broke, her fridge has broken,she doesn't have money for gifts, she's having to walk the kids to school 15 miles each way, i know she is lying, 15 hilly miles with 4 kids under 10 isn't happening. That the kids need new coats or trainers.

her texts messages are always late at night and I literally have hell trying to decode them, but they always asks for money, or can I help the kids, I worry so much for the kids.

There is something more to this but I just don't know what? I only speak to her through messages so I take her word, but resently I have started saying no, because I feel she's not being truthful, but know she's upped her game and again she is at it with the stories about how hard done by she is and her kids are starving, that the kids love me, I haven't seen them in years because the distance, I have help her out alot before because I genuinely thought she and the kids needed help, but her stories are making me question her, is she taking me for a idiot, nothing she saying adds up.

The only people I feel for are the kids, I have my own kids to provide for too I just can't keep lending her money. Help!

she's having to walk the kids to school 15 miles each way,

So she is walking 15 miles EACH WAY to school - thats physically impossible

How long does it take someone to walk 15 miles?
Most people average 3 mph, or 20 minutes per mile, so five hours, assuming no breaks.

She's claiming to be walking 15 miles each way - so being kind thats 4 hours to walk 15, 4 there, 4 back, 4 back to school, 4 home.... 16 hours a day walking??
do the maths

We have been through exactly same thing. It was cocaine. She's now homeless, lost her children, and a complete mess. The kindest thing you can do is report. The sooner she gets help the better.

I genuinely thought she was a good person and was struggling with feeding her kids

But why would you think that, when you've said yourself that the stories she tells you are "ridiculous"?

I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you've been having in your own family, but unfortunately she's found an easy mark and will obviously "bring her kids into it" because that's often a winner for sympathy

Fortunately it's easy to solve; you'll never get your money back but you can at least stop sending any more. The stories will probably get even more heartrending for a while in an attempt to get you back on the hook, but when she finds it doesn't work she'll simply move onto the next mug

The kindest thing you can do is report. The sooner she gets help the better.

This !!!!!!! But I'd say the sooner those kids, if she actually has them, get help the better.... Please report this to SS ... there's something very unhealthy going on !!!!

And I'm used to walking decent distances and 15 miles would take me a minimum of 4 hours. What a crock of sh*t !!!! Block her and report her. She's not your problem.

Do you still talk to her sister? If you do I would be asking her sister what's going on and see if she knows anything. Also, report to social services, You might not be able to give them an address but they will be able to find her. And lastly block her because she is draining your emotions and you don't need that. It could be that she doesn't even have custody of her kids anymore, my ex and children's dad told various people that he needed money for nappies, wipes, food etc, he had court ordered no contact for years before he said this.

They lie. It sounds to me like a drug problem or alcohol or gambling. She is absolutely lying and taking the piss but the more you giver her the more she will keep coming back and asking

Don't gave her a penny more.

She saw you coming, clearer than that big ol' sun out there!

She's clearly not a friend just block her number and be done. Someone who only messages you for money isn't a friend x

This ⬆️ all day long.

15 miles to school?! That'd take about 5 hours 😂

Glad you worked out she's treating you like a fool. Tell her your in town next week, if she could meet you pay you back etc.
Personally I'd block the number and ignore.im truly sorry i understand when younger.i was taken for a mug too many times..

For the sake of the children, please call social services and then you can block her, move on with your life but know you've done what you can to keep the kids safe.

Please please call social services

Block her, you're clearly being scammed.

Drink or drugs!
Block her and stop all contact she’s taking the mick!

I have a lovely friend but she always asks me for money and I mean at least 3 times a week. If I add up what she's asked for over the last month, it's just over £500. I say no every single time. She works, lives with her partner who's in a good job.

Stop loaning her money op and if she's only in contact for money then drop the friendship.

‘Sorry I’m not able to give any more help, you owe me X amount already. If things are that bad contact SS for a food bank referral’

Do you get anything from this friendship? It sounds like it's very one way. I'd block her.

I had someone like this who I thought was my friend. She would ask for money which she did pay me back. She would guilt trip me asking for money for the train fare to get her child to a hospital appointment. I’m the end I started saying no, it turns out my other friend had the same experience from her, she would also lend her money. My friend told me the other friend was saying that I could be funny sometimes so I’m glad I don’t associate with her anymore.

She's not your friend, she's a leech, block her number and any of her social media stuff.

That is not a friend. You don't use your friends like that. And she s using her kids to get money out of you. She sounds like an awful person. Why not try and meet up for a coffee and try and get some information to ensure the kids are OK? For all you know they could've been taken off her already. Does she have family?
Stop giving her money and I'm sure you'll stop hearing from her.

Sounds like online gambling to me. The way to stop her asking is to stop lending. I know it’s harsh but her children are her responsibility, not yours. Tell her to get in contact with social services or use the food bank if she’s that skint. When people stop lending, she’ll have to stop. The fact she’s asking you tells me her family have stopped lending her it. That speaks volumes to me.

You're not an idiot for believing her, she did a good job on you. What would be silly is if you keep on giving it to her. Stop it now. Block her on all platforms. Good luck.

Block and delete . The End.