To be really, genuinely annoyed we have to go through menopause

[OptimismvsRealism]

Honestly it's hard not to suspect that nature hates women - I feel like a second class member of the species

I hate the constant anxiety in my life now, hate that the choice to have a baby is probably gone, hate that no one respects older women (I always did!! I knew this would come for me eventually!), hate how long it takes to be "ready" for sex now

Why isn't this cured yet? If men had menopause it would be.

I do find that hair has migrated from some of these places to my thighs and groin area, however...

HRT changed my life. Fatigue was my worst symptom but I had every symptom going really, including anxiety, mood swings, lack of libido and memory loss. I use body identical oestrogen patches, topped up with body identical oestrogen gel. Body identical just means it's identical chemically to what your own body produces. I am on a high dose. I had to try a few different combinations and doses to find what was right for me. There is no additional risk of blood clots or stroke with body identical oestrogen patches, sprays or gels.

I am also on dydrogesterone (Duphaston) because I don't tolerate body identical progesterone very well. Some women don't tolerate the alternatives but are fine on body identical. If you have a womb you must take some form of progestogen alongside oestrogen in order to prevent the womb lining from building up as that can become cancerous. Lots of women absolutely thrive on body identical progesterone and need it far more than oestrogen, especially if heavy periods are an issue. It can be the missing link in perimenopause as it's the first hormone to deplete, and oestrogen can still surge, the last hurrah of the ovaries, so the womb lining can build up too much. If endometriosis is present it can be recommended even after hysterectomy.

Perimenopause and menopause can be absolutely shit. I intend to use hrt for the rest of my life.

It makes me want to punch a wall when I read about GPs being tight with it. Give people what they want you absolute dicks.

That's great it worked for you so well. Unfortunately it was the bio identical HRT that made no difference to me apart from making me fat 😕.

At least we can talk about it openly.

I'm pretty sure my mum suffered in silence.

And we can teach our girls what we know. Eat well, exercise, stay strong, be financially independent.

Get the drugs you need when you need them.

Because we can’t change anything.

DH (52) came home yesterday rattled because a colleague he was friendly with died suddenly at home last night after a normal day at work. He was 46.

Life. Death. Its all depressing if you think about it.

I may have missed a post from you OP but have you said what you have tried so far to allievate your symptoms?
Obviously HRT can't be taken by everyone but not sure if that applies to you? If you can take it maybe you need to try different types or dosage?
Anxiety was helped hugely for my when I started taking magnesium glycinate. It also helped with my sleep. I take glucosamine for joint health along with a multi vitamin and vitamin d year round. I also found changing my eating habits to as much fresh, veg, fruit, salad, lean meat and fish along with natural yogurt, Greek yogurt nuts and seeds really helpful in how I felt. When I eat too much cake, chocolate, crisps etc I feel sluggish and in turn start to feel quite down. Lastly exercise, I started lifting weights nothing hugely heavy at first but I made sure to do it at least 3 days even if I didn't feel like it. I also do gentle pilates and stretching along with a couple of sessions on the exercise bike a week. Dont get me wrong, it took me a long time to get to the point that all of this fell into place but it did happen. Just small things can make a difference.

My mum is 85 and still on HRT. She occasionally comes up against a GP who issues dire warnings about breast cancer but now she just says yes she might get it but she's reached 85 with 40 years of much better quality of life and no osteoporosis, They can't really say anything to that.

I am not on HRT as I haven't felt I needed it. That could change but up until now I haven't really had any symptoms except a few hot flushes and night sweats, which weirdly stopped when it got warmer!

Yes, having looked after my own child, I have no desire to look after anyone else's!

I am mid 50s now, had no idea I was going through peri over 10 years ago. I thought I was going nuts. Add in endometriosis which got worse as each year passed, and periods that were the bane of my existence, I was questioning everything. On the verge of tears every single day.
Now I’m through the other side and it’s a lot better. The no more periods thing is the best gift ever. HRT has helped a lot. Yes my hair is thinner and all of those ‘symptoms’ we dread but there is a freedom in it.
I don’t really give a toss if I’m invisible to be honest.
I do not miss men being leery. Yep, it’s not like men fall at my feet, either, but that would just mean that one of them might want to get horizontal.
Now that is an issue.
But as Deirdre O’Kane jokes…
I am still young enough to be a ride but I can no longer get pregnant, and that makes me a catch.
Humour is the one thing that gets me through it!

Made me lose weight, then gain weight, and now I'm losing again. I couldn't really function without it so I am OK with weight gain overall. Not happy about it but I couldn't live life as I was. It's stopped going up now anyway. I think it was mostly progesterone making me have food cravings, but it's difficult for me to tell whether it's progesterone itself or that my oestrogen dose was too low to balance it. It took a good bit of increasing and decreasing and changing brands and types to get to here. Here is not perfect but it's an awful lot better.

I appreciate you are trying to be positive. But some of this is silly.

1. You look great, you feel great - just do not look 20/30 any more. Embrace the new you.

Well my migraines have become horrendous due to the menopause and I am having specialist treatment under neurology. I do not feel great at all. I lead a full and active life but migraines make me feel truly shit. We are all different sp be careful when you call people ‘bloody depressing’ and write a Pollyanna list specific to you

What about women who can't or choose not to bear and raise the next generation? Do we deserve the menopause?

I hate this assumption that all women are mothers.

At least if you've had children you can feel that there is some purpose to the pain and mess of periods rather than feeling it was all for nothing.

Wait for the joys of atrophy. It's hits all women at some point.

The good bits aren’t behind you. Life after the menopause is one of the best bits. No longer a slave to your hormones, comfortable in your own skin with the confidence of age. It’s bloody brilliant.

Well three of us had the op on the same day, the other two had a nightmare for the few days we were in hospital, don't know how it went afterwards. They had fans set up round their beds to keep them cool and when I was discharged they were expected to be in for at least another couple of days. I don't know why it was no issue to me, I used to wonder if they'd actually done it, I didn't even have a new scar as they just went in through my old CS scar.

I know I was lucky but I thought it was good to let people know it can be positive.

Ok what is wrong with people who say things like this? What goes through your minds? When someone has a baby and says they're a bit tired "just wait till they're a toddler it's HELL". You're feeling a bit bad about your weight and the same person will say something like "just wait until you have children - you'll put on three stones!!!" Just why.

I took HRT. All good, no drama.🙂

Oh you are the opposite to me as I got rid of the horrendous migraines, well I have one very occasionally and not as severe as they used to be. I hope they sort something out for you as a bad migraine is so debilitating.

It doesn’t affect all women anyway.

And I'm only 42 so fully expect a decade of sorrow ahead
Fuck this!!
There is your issue then. I'm through the menopause and it caused no issues to me and certainly no medical intervention for a natural stage of life. In fact the only difference is no monthly period. If you expect something to be shit, chances are it will be.

Op, I wrote that because so many women out there do not know a thing about atrophy. Don't know what it is, what the symptoms are etc.

It happens to 80+% of women, and you are better to be prepared for it so that you can seek treatment immediately. You mentioned feeling like you had to pee frequently. That's the early stages of atrophy.

And to all the women on this thread who say they are fine and through it. There's no such thing. I am in groups of women where their symptoms started in their 60's and 70's. Some women just can't be told.

Clearly there is such a thing because some of us are there. I’m 70, my menopause has been in the rear view mirror for nearly 20 years and life’s way better on the other side. Stop being such a bloody Cassandra.

I'm in my 70s and 30 years post menopause. No atrophy. None of the symptoms. If it becomes a problem I'll use oestrogen cream. There is no reason to try and upset people you could just list the symptoms and treatments if you think people need educating.

You said it hits all women, now you say 80+% which is a significant difference.

I couldn't agree more.