Are people just less tolerant of disability accessibility now ?

[Takemeback02]

I have been raising a disabled child 11 years now and the first 5 ish years I never really dealt with many issues regarding to the assistance she received or disability access.
the last 5 years has been a real struggle. Usually transport / theme parks etc

most recently 6 of us went on holiday abroad to a European destination, 2 disabled children who require a lot of extra care with very high medical needs and equipment. We always check the hotels first and we speak to before choosing one that works for us. We picked a hotel that offered reserved disabled Sun beds. We arrived and they offered us 6 ( same as whole party ) but we told them we only needed 3. We chose ones away from the kids sections and to the side of the main pool,
they were reserved everyday. They placed disabled badge stickers on the beds for the duration of our stay. I reckon there
was 3 days out of 10 where we didn’t have an issue with someone taking them. Most would move on once asked but have a little moan as they did it and a few who got obviously very upset.

one of the days was a nightmare, we were at the pool bar and physically saw a women tair off the disabled badge sticker and throw it on the ground. I put it back on before going to get the kids
changed and when I got back lady was on bed and had removed the sticker again and lobbed it on the floor.

I just feel the last few years there is an obvious difference in peopls
Tolerance for accessibility or has it always been this way ?

don’t get me wrong I know from the past actual accessibility had got far better but it just feels like it annoys people now.

people do not respect disabled parking bays or toilets anymore for sure

Because they will LOVE the ride if they can just get on it?

Who is the experience for? The parents? It sounds like torture for the child.

I hate rollercoasters- I’m scared of heights and I’m chronically ill and disabled, the pain of bumping around the track is not fun-

but I have spent years riding them with my son because it’s the only thing we have found which fulfils his sensory seeking needs and calms his nervous system entirely.

When he is in a rollercoaster he is calm and relaxed. For a couple of minutes his nervous system is not agitated and he is blissfully happy. Like a constant nagging itch that he can’t scratch is gone. He will stay on a rollercoaster for many many rides, just sitting, free from tension in his body or mind.

If he can get on the damn thing in the first place.

gosh yes, queuing is really tedious and I'm very sympathetic that other people's noise is very hard to tolerate.

on the other hand, my disability just took a turn for the worse and so I can no longer wipe my bum or, use my washing machine or cooker and I can't stand long enough to cook or wash up. I have contacted the LA OT and it's an 18 month waiting list for an assessment

It's easier to blame the disabled kid with a reserved sunbed than to blame the hotel for not having enough sunbeds, or themselves for not getting down early enough to get one.

It's easier to blame the disabled kid who doesn't have queue for a ride at a theme park than blame the theme park for not limiting numbers sufficiently to prevent excessive queues, or themselves for not buying one of the reserve and ride add ons - or the theme park for allowing some people to pay more for reserve and ride add ons and so jump queues.

It's easier to blame the disabled kid in the wheelchair taking up buggy space on a bus than blaming the bus company for not adequately catering for both.

On a positive note DS is autistic and some employers are slowly becoming more autism aware rather than just paying lip service. Companies are starting to give interview questions in advance to autistic candidates which makes all the difference to him as a very bright but socially awkward candidate. It's a small step though when autistic people face the highest rates of unemployment.

Unhappy people are much less likely to be considerate and empathetic of other people and i think since the cost of living crisis people have become much more unhappy.

Is it too much to ask to put a basic sling in your pram basket and fold the buggy up? Because if it is then I would take a hard look at yourself.

The problem here is that lots of people use the bottom of the buggy as a shopping trolley, with everything the baby could ever need plus the weekly big shop in the basket underneath. So they actually can’t fold it, they’d have nowhere to put all their stuff.

To be clear, the solution to that is that they get off the bus, not that the wheelchair user doesn’t get on.

And what if you have a double buggy with 2 kids in? Even without shopping in basket, folding still wouldn't be a realistic solution I'm that scenario either

Then you get off, the space can be used by buggies until or if a wheelchair user needs it.

Simply put...this

Most buses in my city now have a buggy space and a wheelchair space. They allow a second buggy to use the wheelchair space until someone in a wheelchair needs to use it. They will then ask you to fold the second buggy or ask you to leave the bus while giving you a ticket that will allow the person with the second buggy to use the next bus without having to pay again.

I also think that allowing people to have things that they don't really "need" can cause issues with non disabled people -

Who is making this decision as to whether a person really needs something or not?

children especially, as they do start to resent what other people "get" that they don't as it seems constant

Do these children also wish they had the other child condition aswell? Perhaps if the adults a teachers explained this to them now, they will be much more tolerant adults, grateful to not have the illness, rather than jealous of perceived 'perks'

NT non disabled people have struggles as well albeit different ones obviously

There's a big difference between a struggle or not liking something, and a serious health condition that seriously impacts your everyday life-disabled people are only given adjustments that help with the difficulties posed by their condition-all the other 'struggles' everyone else has, they have too, but do not get any adjustments for

So if a NT child doesn't like wearing school shoes they get told they have to. But then they see John and Tina at school in trainers and they're allowed to do that because they're autistic.

You said it yourself the NT kid 'doesn't like' wearing school shoes, we all need to learn that sometimes we have to do things we 'don't like' disabled kids have to do things they 'don't like'
An autistic child with sensory needs doesn't simply 'not like' wearing the schools shoes, the shoes cause a sensory overload that causes them to experience the sensation of the shoe on their feet as physical pain, or it could make them throw up or be so distracting that the only thing their brain can focus on is the problems this shoe is causing. This can all be avoided by allowing this child to wear a different type of shoe that does not overload their senses to such a level that they might aswell have not come to school, because the only thing in their head is the shoe. And I'm fact, there's a good chance the NT kid would prefer to not be the odd one out-yet again, and would much rather wear the same shoes as all the other kids. There's a good chance they are still negatively impacted due to other kids making it very clear how 'unfair' it is "how come THEY don't have to wear shoes' let's all make a big fuss and point out how else the differ from everyone else and another way they 'don't fit in'

I won't do this with all the other school child things you mentioned as the premise is the same. But you see the difference between not liking something and not being able to do some or being negatively affected by something is not the same thing at all. Kids are not stupid, they can be taught this from a young age, and have the capacity to understand. This breeds compassion instead of contempt, and also, may make them a little more thankful for what 'they don't get' ie the symptoms of a disability, instead of jealous of what they 'don't get'

ner ner I'm jumping the queue and you can't" type way. It's not because they're horrible children. It's because they're just children. In the same way a child who's parent bought a fast pass might brag about it some disabled children might as well.
Firstly, I very much doubt this actually happens on a regular basis. Buy
I need to clear this up once and for all. The accomodation to not queue is NOT a queue jump like a fast track pass it's a virtual queuing system. If you get on a ride with a 2 hr line, you do not have to wait in line for 2 hours, you can go to the front. HOWEVER, you can then not ride another ride for 2 hours-just like everyone else- in the 2 hour line cant-you just don't have to wait the time in line. So the disabled child still gets to ride the exact same amount of rides,in the exact same amount of hours. They are not getting to ride 5 rides in an hour whilst everyone else only got to ride 2 due to the lines. During that 2 hrs they can howecer, eat, drink, find a quiet space to relax, or whatever else to pass the time, or reduce anxiety, over stimulation or anything else that could make the theme park environment more bearable until their next ride is available. SO, no, they are not actually gaining a major advantage, they are just being allowed to skip the part that would otherwise mean the theme park was inaccessible to them. In the same way a wheelchair user isn't getting any advantage by being able to use the ramp next to the staircase that non wheelchair users can use. They both get to the same place-just indifferent ways based on their personal needs and abilities

Again, perhaps if people took the time to explain this to their neurotypical kids, and even point out how many advantages the have over the nd kids, they might even start to go over to the weird kid who talks funny and always flapping their hands in front of their face, when he is alone in the playground and say Hi, instead of mocking him for how 'weird' he is, heck maybe they'll even invite him to their next birthday party, that would be nice, they've never been to one before...

This was in response to the 'just fold the buggy' argument-its not always possible, not just because a parent needs to 'get over thenselves'

100% this. All of it.

Then you need to get off the bus.

V depressing the number of people (as evidenced by posters on here) who find it 'so so so' irksome to make accommodations for disabled people, and seem to want to make them a scapegoat for the frustrations of their lives.

It is this attitude which regularly makes things very difficult for us and my DS. He has cerebral palsy with other chronic health conditions plus severe learning difficulties & is wheelchair-bound. I find it hard to understand why people would begrudge him anything that makes his life easier....but many do.

It is this attitude which led to us trying to leave a social event at a centre for disabled young people DS was at, and finding the car park gates deliberately padlocked so none of us could leave. Why? Because some local residents resented the centre having dedicated local parking unavailable to them and decided to get 'revenge'. Never mind that they directly put some of the young people at risk who may have needed to get home for vital medications etc.

So a message to those posters who are resentful of the support given to hate crimes like this: your attitudes can fuel and lead to hate crimes like this (and it is a hate crime imo), as bad as many of the extremist hate crime we have seen during the social unrest of recent days.

I agree, there definitely needs to be some form of reform in the education of disabilities, it could or should be something integrated into P.S.H.E lessons.
It's already difficult living with a disability or taking care of someone with one but the lack of compassion and ignorance is really wearing.

Parents have many options to organise their pram and shopping- they can do any or all of them. Or get off the bus.

They can’t use the wheelchair space.

To be fair schools do this and on the whole do a good job of it. But with the best will in the world it’s hard for them when the messages coming from home are so shit.

ds has only had one incidence of bullying in his time at mainstream school. No coincidence that her mother was one of the most judgemental and from the comments I heard her make about DS I dread to think what her child heard

That’s fucking disgusting. What utter wankers.

Well thats not true on either count. If you have 2 children in a buggy, and you remove the children to fold the buggy, where do you now put the children? And where do you put any bags that were on/in the buggy?
Also, the space, at least on my area is actually labelled an accessible space-not specifically a wheelchair space. And even in scenarios where it is a wheel chair space, it doesn't state that no one else could use it, just that it should be given up if a wheelchair user needs it. Now when you get on a bus, with a buggy, you have no way of knowing whether a person using a wheelchair will need the space during your journey. It is not unreasonable to expect a pram user to make way for the wheelchair user as much as is practical, but it is entirely unreasonable to demand they get off the bus entirely, I don't think most wheelchair users would even expect or want them to do this either.

If someone is in the wheelchair space and isn’t a wheelchair user (or SN buggy user) then they should leave the space so a wheelchair user can get on the bus. It’s no more complex than that.

The pram user gets on knowing that is a risk they take.

Indeed, I did mean all adults including teachers and parents, not one to constantly put the onus on schools to raise and educate our kids lol not sure exactly how I worded it in my original rant, but that is what I meant, and your are absolutely spot on.

I usually try to make things work, for example I get the person to move the buggy while I maneuver in, then they can park it in front of me. This only works because I'm confident of my brakes, nevertheless I assume the parent is aware that in event of a crash they've placed their fragile baby between a heavy wheelchair that will slide, with an adult who can't brace very well, and a set of fixed seats. For this reason I don't ask people to park their buggy in front of me, but I assume people can do their own risk assessment so I don't stop people either. Some wheelchair users will need the whole space.
But if we couldn't make it work I would absolutely expect the person with the buggy to get off the bus, because my disabled elders chained themselves to buses to get this space for us and wheelchair users have priority by law. Parents haven't done that. And to be brutally honest, most people choose to have kids and choose to use a pushchair, I didn't choose to be a wheelchair user.

No- wheelchair users have a legal right to use those spaces, prams do not.

It is your responsibility to handle your children and shopping- you can get off and walk/carry the shopping/fold the pram/use a smaller pram or whatever you like- but you have NO RIGHT to a space legally designated for wheelchairs (which is what it is even if labelled as ‘accessible’. Not even mobility scooters are allowed to use it if a wheelchair user needs it).

If you are in the wheelchair space the bus driver has a legal duty to tell you to move- if you refuse to move there will be repercussions for you- the bus will be held up and not continue the journey until you do and/or you can be banned from the bus company in the future.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/extra/8rvpt6bclh/wheelchair-warriors-disability-discrimination-act
For more information on the history of the disability civil rights movement in the UK. This kind of physical protest must have been so dangerous for people with disabled, often fragile and painful, bodies. It was only 30 years ago. The protesters are mostly still alive. In living memory of a lot of wheelchair users today, wheelchair users could not get on the bus. So no, we're not obligated by some strange form of morality to let people with buggies take priority.

Hear hear!