Are people just less tolerant of disability accessibility now ?

[Takemeback02]

I have been raising a disabled child 11 years now and the first 5 ish years I never really dealt with many issues regarding to the assistance she received or disability access.
the last 5 years has been a real struggle. Usually transport / theme parks etc

most recently 6 of us went on holiday abroad to a European destination, 2 disabled children who require a lot of extra care with very high medical needs and equipment. We always check the hotels first and we speak to before choosing one that works for us. We picked a hotel that offered reserved disabled Sun beds. We arrived and they offered us 6 ( same as whole party ) but we told them we only needed 3. We chose ones away from the kids sections and to the side of the main pool,
they were reserved everyday. They placed disabled badge stickers on the beds for the duration of our stay. I reckon there
was 3 days out of 10 where we didn’t have an issue with someone taking them. Most would move on once asked but have a little moan as they did it and a few who got obviously very upset.

one of the days was a nightmare, we were at the pool bar and physically saw a women tair off the disabled badge sticker and throw it on the ground. I put it back on before going to get the kids
changed and when I got back lady was on bed and had removed the sticker again and lobbed it on the floor.

I just feel the last few years there is an obvious difference in peopls
Tolerance for accessibility or has it always been this way ?

don’t get me wrong I know from the past actual accessibility had got far better but it just feels like it annoys people now.

I arrived at Dubrovnik Airport on holiday and queuing at passport control, a wheelchair user was taken around the queue to the front. Man behind me, looked to be in his 70's was moaning. Very rude and loud. A flavour of quite a few I noticed this year on holiday. Interchangeable moaning men. No idea how anyone puts up them.

Disgusting that a sunbed reserved for someone with a disability is seen as a freebie or perk. I'm sure that person would rather not need the additional help but I'm glad it exists if it makes things that bit easier.

I do think there are a few things contributing to this - people are getting frustrated more easily. About all kinds of things. I think people increasingly feel they are supposed to give over for others but their own needs are completely ignored unless they can check certain boxes.

• I think most people want things to be fair, and also understand that can require accommodations. But they still sometimes have a sense that the correct balance isn't being maintained. This is especially the case if they already feel they are being poorly served or asked to put up with a lot. eg. If they are at a place like Disney, everyone knows it includes a lot of waiting. If they are seeing people not waiting at all, and it means they themselves wait longer, it's potentially a source of frustration. They are already paying through the nose to wait, and it's not like that is fun for anyone. They may have waited a long time until their kids were old enough to cope.

• I think many people believe that there are people who are taking the piss or being dishonest in these kinds of scenarios, or know there are in some cases. This will tend to affect their view of accomodations generally.

• They may already be frustrated by being affected by accomodations in other settings, like schools, that affect their kids negatively. They may feel that the parents don't consider the effect their accommodations have on others and are only concerned about their own children. So they think - well, why shouldn't I take the same approach.

I think the situation is complex. We have nothing but help when out with dsd but she is obviously profoundly disabled.

The issue now is that there are a lot of people who are not obviously disabled (hidden disabilities) but are getting what appears to be special treatment and it annoys a certain section of society who are intolerant.

There's no doubt too that some people do play the disability card, I've got an acquaintance (school yard mum) who managed to get drs notes to get theme park queue jumping passes before the tightened up the criteria, we pointed out to her that the rides all say not suitable for things like heart conditions, the very reason she and her dd qualified! She said it was only mild, in which case why do you need to queue jump?

I've personally felt guilty about using my DDs pip turns to get cheaper theatre entry as strictly speaking she doesn't need an escort - but she does qualify under their rules.

Never did the sun bed thing so I really can't comment, neither dd nor dsd would be ok in that sort of environment, dsd really can't travel far, couldn't afford the insurance.

I think with the significant rise in neurodiversity diagnoses, the public patience for adaptations is reducing. It’s now estimated that 1 in 7 people has a type of neurodiversity, and I know I’ve seen it on a day out where other people in the queue are getting cross that another child is skipping the queue because of this. (I want to specify this is an observed thing, not my opinion, I am usually accompanying a significantly disabled family member, hence why I am able to view this).

ahh my daughter is cardiac :) she is medically able to go on rides as long as not high adrenaline / upside down / Mutiple loops.x

A woman pushed me on a plane in Feb, actually pushed me. None of us can go anywhere because the aisle was blocked with people putting things in the overhead bins. I said "could you be careful, I have MS" and she replied "Well I ain't got nothing and if you're a crip you need to get out of my way"
The cabin crew did nothing. Nothing at all.

I think this is spot on ..others think you’re getting something better, faster, different, special .. so they’re jealous. I bet they wouldn’t want to live the life we have to with our disabled children though.

It's very easy to get into disability top trumps if you aren't careful.

However a friend was quite excited when a cafe near us that had been inaccessible suddenly stated they were accessible on their website. Turned put they hadn't fitted a ramp. But they did turn the music down twice a week.

And don't get me started om businesses whose "accessibility" link on their website just takes you to a page telling you how accessible the website is.

You could phone I guess. But that doesn't eliminate the risk of turning up to discover what you meant by accessibility and the person you spoke to means by it are wildly different. ("It's only a little step, surely you can manage that ?").

A lot of this could be solved by giving the equality watchdog teeth to explain to businesses (with power of law) how it has to be. But since we live in a country where a peer of the realm is abandoned at train stations or a BBC reporter has to throw themselves down airplane steps, I don't hold out much hope for the little person.

One of the nicer stories I've heard.

I think this kind of argument really backfires though.

Getting special accomodations is meant to be because people need them to do whatever the normal thing. Others are meant to go along with it out of a sense of fair access.

It's not supposed to be compensation for having a hard life in other settings, and others are supposed to make that happen by stepping aside.

People have always been selfish, now they don't care who sees it as long as they get what they want (especially when it comes to sunbeds).

I'm not entirely sure it's down to this.

My ds has a physical disability. It's pretty obvious. Attitudes have changed towards him too. People still think it's fine to park in a disabled space because "they'll only be a minute and there's plenty more further along".

It is harder for people with physical disabilities now. Disability access seems to mean neurodiversity.
I also noticed that certain disabled people get treated better. Amputees seem to be treated better and have more people willing to help them.
I also agree that people help more with young children, once they get older or become an adult it is a different story.

And I hate the visible/invisible disabled divide. The truth is if you use a wheelchair and do not have an obvious reason why, people do judge and think you are maybe faking it.

I certainly notice a lot more cars parked blocking the pavement. A minor annoyance to my physically able self, who also no longer has tiny children in a buggy, but must be incredibly difficult for wheelchair users.

(Note that I am neurodiverse but, unlike burnername1 above, am able to empathise with those having different needs to myself 🙄).

Yanbu, I'm sorry that you had to go through this. What don't people understand about a clearly marked place that isn't for them.

I think a lot may have to do with this Invisible illness that has come about alot recently and people taking advantage of that. Someone who clearly needs it shouldn't have to fight for it.

@TempestTost and @GoldMerchant have made really insightful posts.

I'm pondering all this really carefully at the moment because I'm considering applying for a blue badge. The thing is, I can do pretty much anything. But not for any length of time or too often. So I can walk. I can stand. I can sit.
I can do a limited amount of any of it though, and have to be really careful not to 'run out' or 'overdo'. I might find myself sat on a bench wondering whether I'll make it back. Or go up stairs and have to wait ages before being able to get back down. So my issues don't show up in a basic description of my abilities. It's more incrementally cumulative.
Which is a big digression!

Warning- read to the end! This doesn't say what you think it might! There are probably better ways of expressing it as a concept but I don't know what they are so forgive the clumsy terminology. Something like Maslow's Hierarchy of need.

• To an extent disability modifications at a societal level are a luxury- something we eventually attain after meeting the base level survival needs of wider society. While society is starving and moving backwards, disability accommodation will go backwards.

Now- I don't believe we are starving, as a society. But we think we are. We think we are at survival level, living on the breadline. While the media is fuelling a scarcity outlook, society will behave as though making space for someone with a disability to enjoy a theme park is too much for them to give up.

That's total crap. People at theme parks aren't struggling at a survival level. People on sunbeds on holiday are not at a survival level.

But psychologically people are tired, stressed and unable to be empathic towards others because they are too busy being sorry for themselves.

Blue Badges have a criteria. Look at your local authority website and if you are eligible apply.

My local authority have started charging blue badge holders in all their car parks, and they have removed virtually all street parking in the town centre. So we now have to pay for parking on top of everything else.

Just to say someone mentioned Disney. I know Disney are changing their rules and are going to ask for proof. I did see a face book post that was removed in a group advising others to do as she had, and lie saying her child was autistic and needed to skip queues. I do understand when that happens how some people start doubting whether people are genuine.

I'm confused.

I was at Disneyland Paris last year and they definitely required proof of disability i.e DLA letter.

Unless you mean in Florida, in which case, as you were

Some people seems to think they have higher rights these days and would walk over everyone to get what they want!
A couple of years ago, I took a wheelchair bound relative to their doctors appt, and whilst they were being seen, I waited outside near my car to give them privacy. I was asked to move my car twice from the disbaled bay, because I was not displaying a blue badge. I casually declined with an explaination that the sign showed it was parking for a disabled / wheelchair user and did not specify that a blue badge must be shown to park there, and that I was indeed driving a wheelchair bound relative to and from their appt. The person tutted and said "Liar" under their breathe - loud enough for me to hear though...
...Roll on 5 minutes when my family member wheeled themself outside to get into my car. The commentor (still looking on) had such I sheepish/guilty look on their face! I 🙂 & 👋 goodbye.

This.

👏

as i disabled person myself i honestly think more people are just becoming entitled twats in general- for example

At my kids school you used to be able to use the gyms parking that was next door as it has a huge car park. However after certain parents insisted on parking in the blue badge spaces as it was easier to get away and then they actually verbally abused blue badge holders who asked them to move (why are you using fucking a gym if you are disabled was one of the phases used)
The gym has now installed a barrier that will only lift for members. The same parents are now parking over yellow lines and having stand up rows with the lolly pop man. The same parents are always moaning about their little darlings not getting in teams, parts on plays etc etc etc
Entitled twats about everything.